restlesshope's Journal, 17 November 2010

am about to scream trying really hard to keep it together right now what i want is a peanut buster parfait from dairy queen luckily there are none where i live.. would settle for a valium though . having so many thoughts and feelings about mom right now i am in a tail spin and don't know what to do....say a prayer for me right now cause i really need a little extra strength and i am afraid god isn't listening...

Diet Calendar Entries for 17 November 2010:
885 kcal Fat: 59.76g | Prot: 69.41g | Carb: 19.63g.   Breakfast: pecooked sausage patties, eggs, coffee, Water, heavy whipping cream. Dinner: great value fancy four cheese, brocc, pork loin. Snacks/Other: sweet n low. more...
2022 kcal Activities & Exercise: Resting - 16 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
Oh I am so sorry that your mom is facing this, as well as how you are hurting right now. Now is not the time to lose contol, it'll only make you feel much more worse. How far away is she from you? Too bad you weren't close enough. Just saw my dealer (pain management Dr.) ealier today and got some really good stuff. Will put you and your mother in my prayers right now. We are all here with you. You will not be alone. xoxo 
17 Nov 10 by member: kmartin
Heavenly Father, in my present need, help me to believe that You are aware of my anxiety and will do what is best for me. Give me the strength to trust You and put the present and future in Your Hands. Grant this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.  
17 Nov 10 by member: kmartin
Laura, God is listening! We often times feel that way, especially when we think that the answer to our prayers is the "wrong" one...it may not be the one we want to hear, but it is the "right" one for God. My heart is hurting for you, as I know how hard it is when our parents get ill. The only thing to do is pray, pray, pray!! God does hear every single cry that we cry, and every tear that we shed He sees..."Thou numberest my wanderings: Put thou my tears into thy bottle; Are they not in thy book?" Psalm 56:8 We are all God's children and although we often feel that He does not hear us, we know in our hearts that is not true. He loves us. We will be saying prayers for you and your mom! And if you need me, I am here! 
17 Nov 10 by member: ctlss
AMEN, Keli! 
17 Nov 10 by member: ctlss
I'm so sorry for your stress.... Keli, I am printing thos words and postingthem on my wall! Thank you! 
17 Nov 10 by member: barbieq13
Laura, why not try blending some whipping cream w/ sugar sub with pnut butter... whip it up all frothy and freeze it a little. It might take that edge off of craving the Dairy Queen.  
17 Nov 10 by member: barbieq13
I am praying for you and lifting your heavy burden to the Lord. Praying for your mother - and her medical team as they tend to her needs. Keep talking to God - don't stop.  
17 Nov 10 by member: Evie1010
mom is in indiana about 950 miles from me i have always been the one to care for her the rest of the family have never been able to forgive her for our childhood but i always felt that if i had to walk in her shoes i probably would not have done much better. now she needs me and i am torn between caring for her and caring for my son and his family. keli thank you so much ... words can not say. and steff you too..no this will just be another learning situation that i can deal with life with out turning to food. i just wish i could be in 2 places at one time no one should face cancer all alone... 
17 Nov 10 by member: restlesshope
evie thank you so much and barbie i think i will give the peanut butter a hold but definatly in the back of my mind. 
17 Nov 10 by member: restlesshope
I'm sorry you are having such a terrible day. God hears all prayer Laura. You hang in there, I'm sure it is very difficult with your mom so far away. I'm very proud of how strong you are and you, this the help from God, will make all the right decisions. Try to enjoy the rest of your evening and know that I am praying for you, your mom and your family.:) 
17 Nov 10 by member: LauPug1
God is always listening and always working in our lives. As Stef said, sometimes the answers to our prayers are not what we would choose but this is God's plan for us, not ours. You've already shown your mom great compassion, understanding and forgiveness. Perhaps this is a test of your priorities, as no one can be 100% in Indiana and 100% in NC at the same time! You have many options, as does your mom. There are many, many cancer resources available (medical, social, and spiritual) to help your family work through her prognosis. Take advantage of them. I'll be praying for you as you make some of these tough decisions in the days and months ahead. Remember that the reason you're feeling the way you do is because you have a big, caring heart and you're a loving daughter. That's what makes you so special. {{{{HUGS}}}} 
17 Nov 10 by member: Sandy701
Amen, Sandy! We love you Laura, and we will be right here when you need us! 
17 Nov 10 by member: ctlss
Peace be with you my buddy, I will pray you can find a way to cope with this. TOWANDA!! 
17 Nov 10 by member: Lisa Online

     
 

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