FullaBella's Journal, 25 September 2013

LOL at the yakking and barfing reviews on my journal yesterday regarding my breakfast choices. Too funny. Makes me feel like my menu belongs on 'fear factor'. I'd say y'all can consider yourself on your own for breakfast if you come visit but no worries. DH prefers the traditional's (oats, eggs, pancakes, or waffles) too so it's all good unless you consider the odor of my liver & onions at 6am too challenging. (Sorry Ev)

You all probably already know this but it's National Weight Stigma Awareness week. I was thinking about this while journaling and enjoying my birds this morning. The questions and comments I wrote certainly made me more aware of my own lingering prejudice and identified more 'stinking thinking' to be purged. Too bad I can't just show my brain sauerkraut and make it yak.

It began by observing how that lone Mourning Dove seems so comfortable with the flitty little sparrows instead of sticking 'to it's own'. I named it 'Rodney' (ala 'can't we all just get along?')

I won't bore you with every single thought I scribbled because I am sure if you're intrigued by humanizing of birds you can write your own dialogue too but I recognized a lot of typecasting in my thoughts. In my opinion the sparrows were the 'skinny popular mean girls' in school. I'm Rodney. I didn't have many friends in school, still don't have that many in real life. But that's more because of my time restraints than self image issues.

But then I wondered if maybe Rodney is just so self actualized it's comfortable anywhere with any size or species of birds. Maybe it doesn't know it's not a sparrow? Maybe it hasn't caught it's reflection in the water of the bird bath or window as it flew by or been made to feel bad about it's appearance because it didn't look like all the others on the fence? Maybe it hasn't had a flight-time of self hate because it's outer appearance didn't match the rest of the 'flock'.

Maybe Rodney is what I am totally trying to achieve: loving and accepting myself and feeling comfortable regardless of who, when or where.

At that point in my musings the universe stepped in. The sparrows flew away and Rodney sat, alone, statuesque and totally majestic in it's 'self'. And then it messed with me. Or spoke to me. However you choose to interpret it. First it squatted and slumped; then it stood tall and proud. I swear, Rodney looked like it'd lost weight. It was the bird version of a Jenny Craig commercial.

So what's the message? Love myself. Take pride in myself. Be happy with myself. And let the rest fall where it may.

Thank you for reading and viewing. The following is Rodney's JCC and a couple of new folks: some beautiful starlings. They're kind of doing a 'where's Waldo' on me blending into the background. I hope they will soon join Rodney and the sparrows on the fence.

Bella









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Comments 
Your journal today shows me how we can find inspiration anywhere and everywhere. I'm sure most people would have none of those thoughts come to mind while looking out at their backyard sanctuary. But they probably weren't looking for answers. Seek and ye shall find :) 
25 Sep 13 by member: evelyn64
This is utterly beautiful. Thank you for being so open and so honest... and inspiring. With a grateful heart - Ce 
25 Sep 13 by member: Sweet Ce
What a beautiful message, and one we all need to hear & remember -- to love ourselves... We are a lovable group, aren't we?!? You are so right that the rest will take care of itself. See why you're my special Angel! Xoxox 
25 Sep 13 by member: Ruhu
I knew I was gonna luv u! 
25 Sep 13 by member: myawethinTICself
Beautiful. When you need reinforcement watch the movie called Miss Representation. Its inspiring. 
26 Sep 13 by member: radiochick
LOL on the yaking and on trying to make your brain yak. Too funny. My take on the Rodney fat and Rodney thin - do as your mother likely told you and stand tall, shoulders back - we always look thinner when we stand erect :) Sorry that was supposed to be funny. Self acceptance is the ultimate goal Bella. I believe you are on the right track. And I think you have learned so much more on this journey, this time, than ever before. Now, for me, the trick would be to hang on to all that I've learned. I have had epiphany's throughout my life that I thought were life changing that now I can't freakin' remember. Doesn't that suck! 
26 Sep 13 by member: sarahsmum
@Evelyn - true - I guess like anything though I'm picking the answers I want; isn't that what we all do? @Ce - thank you. I'm not sure which will come first, self acceptance or acceptance of others that I think I want to imitate but I'm working on it @ Angel - thank you - yep, I realize it makes me sound either completely self actualized or a total slacker; time will tell, LOL @63 - thank you and welcome @Radio -- thank you - I've added it to my watch list; may watch it tonight @Isabel - Rodney brought a friend this morning - two doves! It was like 'that funny old lady in the pj's with the camera finally recognized how great I am.. I'm going to bring my own buddies. Wild. And yeah, I made the posture connection to but I think I was browsing more in the area of 'people will see what we want to show them.. so let's show them our best..' Have a great day all. 
26 Sep 13 by member: FullaBella
LOL Bella, tossing out my clothes so you can see if you will fit inside - you always make me smile. Wish I could take you, I think all the girls that want to go, we would have a really great time, though if we ever do an FS get together I think it should be somewhere warmer than Glasgow! Happy day Bella :) 
26 Sep 13 by member: sarahsmum

     
 

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