Janelleas's Journal, 07 November 2008

Important Women's Health Issue: My youngest daughter just sent me this email. I thought it was funny. I hope it doesn't offend anyone.

Important Women's Health Issue:

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about Margaritas.

Margaritas are the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions.

Margaritas can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of Margaritas almost immediately and with a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with Margaritas.

Margaritas may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use Margaritas. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.


Side effects may include:

Dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration

Erotic lustfulness

Loss of motor control

Loss of clothing

Loss of money

Loss of virginity

Table dancing

Headache

Dehydration

Dry mouth

And a desire to sing Karaoke

WARNING:

The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:

The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:

The consumption of Margaritas may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:

The consumption of Margaritas may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting


Diet Calendar Entries for 07 November 2008:
1396 kcal Fat: 57.65g | Prot: 116.84g | Carb: 105.55g.   Breakfast: skim milk, turkey sausage link, Old Fashioned Oats, mug coffe 10 ounce, decaff. Lunch: v-8 juice, mozzarella string cheese stick. Dinner: Molly McButter 1 tsp, cauliflower, salmon. Snacks/Other: Kirkland dry roasted almonds (1/4 cup_, Organic Pumpkin Flax Plus Granola, carb master yogurt. more...
1812 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sitting - 5 hours, Resting - 11 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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Comments 
LOL 
07 Nov 08 by member: Simavision
Lol! I agree! Alcohol = liquid courage! 
07 Nov 08 by member: JulieC
Hee Hee Hee :D 
07 Nov 08 by member: mbhpro
Nice one  
07 Nov 08 by member: Pking
As it happens I live with a master Margarita prescriber. I can attest to most of the side effects listed above except incarceration BUT the night is young! 
07 Nov 08 by member: Densible
I am not a big fan of this cocktail but the medical "ad" was certainly cute. I like my wine and a dachari (spelling) now and again! Thanks for sharing! 
08 Nov 08 by member: Cobra Fan
great story.  
08 Nov 08 by member: jprunty
LOL. Thanks for the morning chuckle. Why am I suddenly craving Margaritas? Hehehehe. 
08 Nov 08 by member: evelyn64
Awe, our Cruise Director! This is very cute! I needed a pick me up this morning, laughter is better than any other I can think of! How many calories does laughing burn? 
08 Nov 08 by member: stormisummer
How are you going to slide under that limbo pole - Janelle - if you are tipsy? You may land on your pretty thin bottom! Look out! 
08 Nov 08 by member: Cobra Fan
Very cute and humor is a graet healer, motivater and stress killer. 
08 Nov 08 by member: ranchwoman

     
 

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