Morganzilla's Journal, 11 September 2013

I struggle these days to lose more weight. I have come a long way but that doesn't mean I'm done. I have an additional 5 pounds to lose before I am considered healthy for my height. This frusterates me though because I can't seem to get them off. The other part that I can't seem to overcome is how I see myself. Everyone around me says I look great and I'm THIN! I don't see it though. I see that roll or that love handle, or even worse I see the stretch marks! I know this is my poor self-esteem but DAMN it sucks. I just want to feel thin. I don't know if this is something I will ever feel though.

I now understand how an anorexic girl feels when she looks in the mirror..... Keep on truckin'


Diet Calendar Entries for 11 September 2013:
1059 kcal Fat: 52.00g | Prot: 50.71g | Carb: 100.96g.   Breakfast: Yoplait Source 0% Yogurt - Dessert Selection. Lunch: Deli Sliced Ham, Weight Watchers Multigrain Bread. Dinner: Kraft Calorie Wise Peppercorn Ranch Dressing, Kraft Fat Free Swiss Cheese Singles, TOPS Markets Corn on the Cob, Kirkland Signature Beef Polish Sausage, Rouses Hot Dog Bun, Lettuce. Snacks/Other: Tim Hortons Chocolate Glazed Cake Timbits, Tim Hortons Old Fashioned Plain Cake Timbits, Cookie. more...
2553 kcal Activities & Exercise: Exercise machine (fast) - 30 minutes, Bicycling (moderate) - 13/mph - 12 minutes, Standing - 2 hours and 30 minutes, Resting - 12 hours and 48 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...

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I know exactly how you feel. The weight came off in large chunks in the beginning. And now, you have to praise the ounces that come off. Doesn't seem fair. I keep hearing how good I look now too. And how amazing it is that I lost so much in a year. What I can't get through to anyone is that it's not over for me. I still have more work to put in. And even after I reach my goal, I have to work to maintain it. I know I can eat between 1500-1600 a day (without exercising) and not gain. However, I have to still watch because I don't want to end up back where I started. I do fear I will never see myself as thin. In fact, there are days it's hard for me to see in the mirror any difference from last year. But we have to have faith that eventually this warped view will be replaced with one that shows us we have come so far and helps us appreciate all the hard work that went in.  
14 Sep 13 by member: Alltheangelsenvy
Thanks I'm happy to hear I'm not alone in my struggle 
15 Sep 13 by member: Morganzilla
You definitely are not alone. Keep your chin up. And remember if you need to talk or even just vent, I'm here. 
16 Sep 13 by member: Alltheangelsenvy

     
 

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