FullaBella's Journal, 12 July 2013

Well, I guess you could say the RX is working because I'm basically flat lined at a time when I shoulda woulda coulda been climbing the wall after the hat trick of stressors that invaded my life last night. Alas, it hasn't done anything for my typical run on sentences though. Oh well.

Right up front I'll lead with "Mushy Was NOT hurt". I've had to repeat that phrase to myself repeatedly this morning when the shock of all that followed finally wore off and I thought I'd lose my mind thinking about 'what could have been.'

I had already showered, was in my jammies, and was painting when my StepDaughter phoned last night and said she needed to come over. Her tone told me it wasn't a social call. As I let her in the back yard her huge pitbull mix whatever the heck it is dog crashed through the gate, the two of us, across the yard and in through the back door into the house right up to Mushy. They were nose to nose when the Son in Law finally caught & jerked Kujo's collar.

But, I didn't even have time to do a shudder check on that when I saw the grandson's netbook in my SD's hands. Yep, he'd been caught surfing the internet yet again and no, not 'Boy's Life'. I get it, I don't condone it but I know he's not the only one. The internet is the modern day version of sneaking Dad's Playboy magazine. So why was she and her attack dog invading my home with this latest perv report?

Because he was doing it via MY internet! He'd found my modem password and was connecting next door! Which is ironic as I have a very poor connection if I try to sit on my deck and access the internet via my Kindle. Nonetheless, not only is he a really sloppy perv as he's been caught and reprimanded more than once for surfing.. uh.. Boy's Life .. but now he's a sneak and a thief and unremorsefully defiant as I've told him 'no' far too many times to being on my internet. Ugh.

So I have reset my modem password and buried the record of it in a mayonnaise jar under the porch (ha) and am doing the usual full scan and history clean in hopes that he didn't get any virus out at Boy's Life and have kept his netbook for now. We (DH) and I gave him that netbook for his 13th birthday and it's brought nothing but trouble ever since. Not sure what the next step will be for recovering my trust of him. I know it's the teenager in him. I remember this sneaky defiance with the SD. But yikes, he helps me with trade shows and has access to really valuable inventory... another shudder as thoughts of the teenage defiance grows. I don't like having to process him smiling and lying to my face at the same time. I really thought we had a better relationship. Plus it has me rethinking the whole driver's education course we just gave him for his upcoming 16th birthday.. especially as I'm considering pulling his permit until he's 30.

This drama kept me up far past my normal bedtime and served as my artificial caffiene so I started dusting and vacuuming the living room until DH complained. I tried to settle down but in my own stupid self destructive way I checked my email.

There was a request from my Sister in Law to 'hold the check for the monthly loan payment' ((that was due on Tuesday)) until she returned from her vacation ((in a few weeks!)).


Let me see if I've got this right. You, my dear SIL, are UNEMPLOYED yet going on a vacation and you want me to hold your payment due for a couple of weeks until you get your UNEMPLOYMENT check? Hmm... color me a staunch conservative but I think you should be ... uh... home and ... uh...looking for a freaking JOB if you can't meet your financial obligations NOT going on a flipping vacation when *I* haven't been outside the county for R&R myself in a decade!

Nonetheless, it was already too late; I deposited her check on Tuesday and wrote her back of that news. DH followed up to his sister about it this morning. I'd dreaded having to tell him that bit of bad news on the heels of the grandson fiasco but decided I didn't need to be the only one with an ulcer burning a hole in my stomach. I'm sure Mushy has one too in recall of Kujo in her face.

I slept hard but woke at 2am and an hour of relaxation meditation music followed by an hour of 'Atlas Shrugged' on audiobook and I decided I'd stop kicking the bed and just get up and turned on the coffee. So today will be one of my more challenging days. I'm not naive enough to ask 'what's next' because I know life will show me. I'm just going to sit here and wish all of my friends a happy Friday and a good weekend.



Thanks Bella. Hope your weekend is enjoyable, too. 
12 Jul 13 by member: Sweet Ce
Hang in there!!! {{{{cyber-hugs}}}} 
12 Jul 13 by member: Mary in LA
Hugs, Hugs and more Hugs...It really bothers us too that some of our family just don't do the right thing...we all have them and they can really wear you out mentally...so glad Mushy wasn't hurt by that big dog..I know that had to be scary...When I commented on you sending me your energy..I had no idea your already up and cleaning..I was referring to your work the other day..Hope the rest of your weekend is much better...:O) 
12 Jul 13 by member: BHA
Oh Bella, sorry I missed this today. You just never know what's coming at ya, do you? So sorry about it all. Can't believe the little bugger has been lying to your face, and you are so good to him. It will take a while for sure in order to trust hin again. And I would definitely rethink paying for his driver's ed. He would have to earn it, as in work and earn some money for it. Glady Mushyface is ok, must have scared the crap out of her! Not the best time to be flatlining is it? But it sounds like you have lots of emotions still in you, you just controlled them better (I suppose). Did the SD blame you for her son using your internet password, or she was just letting you know? She could have done that by phone I suppose. Hope the long day was uneventful and that you sleep well tonight. There's nothing worse than being tired and stressed.  
12 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
That sounds like a really tough day. I think you sound fantastic given all the stressful stuff. I am jealous of the rx induced response. How nice to not feel like you are falling apart in the midst of crisis. Great choice...the calming music. I am guilty of picking chocolate. : )  
13 Jul 13 by member: sharonfriz
Oh, families, families, families... Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em. I do love your journal, Bella, especially your openness about what happens in your life and what you think of it. Your grandson's deceitfulness is horrible, although as you say a 13-year old demonstrating an emerging sexual curiosity isn't necessarily pervy. You must feel quite hurt and betrayed that he chose to use your password. Perhaps, because he's very young and hormonal just now, he doesn't quite understand that. My sympathies, too, about your financially feckless sister/in law. I've had a similar one myself! Some people just don't get the idea of consequences, do they? Or they just throw good sense to the wind, carpe diem, and put up with what will happen later. Unfortunately, in my experience, it's then that they start complaining bitterly and come whining for help... It's hard at the time to brush all this stuff off but, in the end, I guess it's also our flaws that make us all so very human. I hope the weekend turns out to be a little calmer and more cheerful for you. 
13 Jul 13 by member: *Starshine*
Wow. That was certainly more than one day's worth of drama for most but I'm glad your RX seems to be helping you deal with it better than you may have otherwise. Your grandson is just a typical teenage boy and I don't think his "infractions" are too serious in the grander scheme of things. But, certainly, if he knows he was breaking rules then there should be consequences. I hope the rest of your weekend was less dramatic! 
15 Jul 13 by member: evelyn64
Holy Crap thank God for good drugs! I'm busting my butt to be closer to my family one day and now you got me thinkin'....should we really? :) Just kidding. Boys his age just do these things and because of you he will learn to be more respectful in the future. He isn't doing this TO YOU - he is just going through this phase. Can you tell I made excuses for my son when he was that age doing the same things TO ME! We can't change them - we can just change ourselves and take more meds. :) All of what I say is just BS so don't pay me no mind. I love pitbulls but that one needs to be banned from your yard until you get a bigger pitbull. 
15 Jul 13 by member: Neptunebch


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