DairyFarmersWife's Journal, 17 June 2013

I finally did it. I traded my dumpy old wagon that kept kicking me off for a shiny new super charged wagon. What did it? Well for starters. I feel gross. Just worn down, bloated, icky, dumpy, gross. That stops now. I will eat right. I will eat with control. I will not let food rule my world.

The other thing that really motivated me is something that is going to sound completely childish, irrational, mean spirited, and just plain wrong. Over the weekend I first ran into the hubby's bowling partner that accused me of losing too much weight when I hit 155. I hated that I had gained since I last saw her. I know she doesn't want me to lose weight for her own reasons but it pisses me off a little that she tells me not to lose weight. It's my weight and I will lose it if I want to. Next the 9 yr old reminded me about a million times that we have 3 weeks to go before we go see my family. I haven't seen my family in a year. I want to shock them. I want to be 150 or lower. It's vain yes.. but I want to be the skinny one in the family. And finally... There are certain people in hubbies life that have self esteme in mass quantities. They think they are all that and a bag of chips. Why? I'm not really sure. They can't keep a job, their personalities are horrible, they're mean, they think everyone should drop everything at a snap of their fingers, everything should be free for them.. the only thing they have that the rest of us don't is they're gorgous. I want to be gorgous. I want to have the looks, the job, be a good person, be a great mother, and for once look down on them instead of feeling like something they are about to squish under their foot. Will they always look at me that way? Yes. Will I feel like I deserve to be looked at like that? No.

Victories.. Today I walked a mile over my lunch hour instead of picking things up at the store. I put myself first. It was a nice day and a walk will do me more good than vanilla icing for the cake I was suppose to make. I packed my lunch. I stayed at 1 cup of coffee for the day. I've tracked everything I've eaten so far. I have made a plan and I will stick with it. I have asked hubby to help me bring the eliptical downstairs. I tried.. I couldn't do it on my own.

I will feel better about myself. I will lose weight. I will kick some serious butt.

Diet Calendar Entry for 17 June 2013:
1529 kcal Fat: 38.89g | Prot: 119.17g | Carb: 180.49g.   Breakfast: Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Water, Diet Coke (Can), Fat Free French Vanilla Creamer, Women's Multivitamin, Instant Oatmeal - Lower Sugar Maple and Brown Sugar. Lunch: Tyson Foods Fully Cooked Crispy Chicken Strips, Ken's Steak House Lite Honey Mustard Dressing, Organic Girl Baby Spring Mix, Water (Bottled), Water (Bottled). Dinner: Yellow Cake (with Vanilla Frosting), Kroger Diced Grilled Chicken Breast, Hanover Whole New Potatoes, Jack Link's Premium Cuts Original Beef Jerky. Snacks/Other: Grapes (Red or Green, European Type Varieties Such As Thompson Seedless), Spangler Dum Dum Pops. more...

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Comments 
You go girl! You're gonna do it! 
17 Jun 13 by member: BeckyBaby65
I have the same kinda kick in the ass this weekend... I really gotta make it stick. I have lost so much tone! Weights and strength have to be my focus. PS I didn't get a walk invite there missy!! 
17 Jun 13 by member: thynes
You're doing great things! And get your motivation wherever you can -- I have irrational reasons as well as the rational ones. Your family will be thrilled for you when they see how you look, and see the choices you make when you visit them. Keep rocking it! We can do this! 
17 Jun 13 by member: WonderWoman6806
Motivation is motivation, it doesn't matter where it comes from as long as it gets you thinking about your health and well being! You can do it!! 
17 Jun 13 by member: The Blue Box
I'm pretty sure that almost all of us have some selfish vanity based reasons for doing this... don't feel bad about that as long as you keep general health in mind (which you are!). Good start today - keep up the good work! 
17 Jun 13 by member: Bkeller1023
Good for you... These 'people' you are talking about, are shallow individuals... Looks and so called 'gorgeousness' doesn't last... A nice, generous spirit, stays :-). I am sure your DH loves you just the way you are... Men don't want to marry shallow women - unless they are shallow themselves and only marrying for 'appearance', in which case, it won't last. I am glad you put yourself first....... Go girl :-) 
17 Jun 13 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
Congrats on making yourself first! And good for you at getting out there at lunch time and going for a walk. That's how things started for me and my coworker. We took it slow, just going for a walk to get away from the desk and now a year later, we've incorporated running into the routine and longer distances which in turn has helped me lose over 25 lbs. As for being vain, we're all vain! And you know what, you will shock your family! 
17 Jun 13 by member: aggie95
So you're challenging me to an elliptical run? lol Bring it on sister....  
17 Jun 13 by member: MightyFull
As long as you're doing it for yourself, who cares where the motivation comes from. Who hasn't wanted to see those people who thought they were better than you look shocked when you succeed and outshine them. Just keep thinking about those people and how you won't be defeated.  
17 Jun 13 by member: mars2kids
You are worth it!!! 
17 Jun 13 by member: skirch97
You can and will do this! Do this for you and nobody else. And you can look down at the "other people". Why? Because you are a strong woman, with amazing inner strength and perseverance who has overcome obsticles left right and center. You can do this!!! Kick some ass girl!!  
17 Jun 13 by member: pam-u-la
And there you have it..a great plan and hope you show up those people that make you feel bad...But you know what..Its because they are jealous of you..you work hard..have a loving husband and great kids..not to mention..your a great person..and they can't be..so your a winner no matter what..your one of a kind..there is no one like you..so be very happy for you..We are alll proud of what you have done..Its doesn't matter what any one else thinks...:O) 
17 Jun 13 by member: BHA
Love to hear you so positive today! 
17 Jun 13 by member: BuffyBear
I have no problem admitting I'm vain. I especially love that me getting fit ticks off this one snotty girl that I can't stand. She is not a big-boned girl but she has put on an enormous amount of weight but doesn't realize it yet. I love the evil glares I get from her every time I see her & the snide remarks she makes about my weight loss because it means I am getting under her skin & that just motivates me more.  
18 Jun 13 by member: Adrienne54

     
 

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