Ruhu's Journal, 26 May 2013

And so my journey evolves --

I was already on edge yesterday as DH & I had been arguing about oldest son. It's a bit on an ongoing debate. I won't go into the long story but my boy has had his struggles -- medically (both my boys have epilepsy), emotionally & academically -- and just finished his 5th year in college with at least 2 more to get the degree he thinks he wants double majoring in electrical & computer engineering. The discussion/disagreement always goes along the line of how much do we continue to support him financially -- this time as his car was in for service & in need of more work than he could afford. Anyway, I was on edge after that, but holding it together well, enjoying our dinner out with friends when the waiter spilled a full glass of red wine in my lap. That lead to a quick departure & trip home to dry off & try to treat the massive stain on my blouse & slacks. And, emotionally inappropriately, I wanted to console myself with sugar. Luckily, (like you, J:), I was able to avoid a binge, but ate more in avoidance than I needed & definitely not mindfully. But, today, is a new day & another chance to learn from what I felt & wanted to do last night, and to steer my healthy eating roadway in the right direction. So, I'm off to zumba this morning, then mass with MIL at her church where the Notre Dame university folk choir is singing (she regularly attends church in Sandy Hook, CT at the parish where many of the school shooting victims are parishioners).

But before I go I'll start my day in prayer --

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

And, as I recover from & reflect on last night, on this one day and through each one meal, bite & moment, I'll pray, breathe, log & post my way through, and I'll express or just sit with each emotion as they come my way. Thanks as always for your support & for always being there! xoxox

Diet Calendar Entries for 26 May 2013:
500 kcal Fat: 18.40g | Prot: 26.24g | Carb: 61.37g.   Breakfast: Lactose Free Plain Yogurt, Strawberries, Raspberries, Blueberries, Blackberries. Lunch: Boston Market Seasonal Fresh Fruit Salad, Egg Omelet or Scrambled Egg with Vegetables. more...
1598 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 15 hours, Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 1 hour. more...

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Comments 
Hi Ruth, I think you are handling things very well, you didn't fall off the wagon, it just tilted a wee bit. Hope you get the stain out of your clothes, I am sure the restaurant would pay for dry cleaning or should at least compensate you in some way. And sorry about the ongoing debate with hubby about your son. Its not easy being a parent. At least you and your hubby are discussing it. Mine doesn't talk, just knows I will take care of 'whatever' and happy to let me do it.  
26 May 13 by member: sarahsmum
Sorry to hear about your rough time yesterday and the ongoing debate involving your son. Give yourself a little space from it if you can and take a breath. Your children will be your children and it is really hard for them to realize Mommy and Daddy are not on this planet to take care of their every need every time they have one. It is also hard for Mommy and Daddy to break free of the need to be there every time the child needs something. For me this was a bigger frustration with my son than just giving him money or whatever he needed at the time. The conflict was in me. He eventually became old enough where these instance are almost never. I say that because at this point he does not ask for anything. But, when I know he needs I still want to give. And he is almost 33. At least that is my initial reaction. I do not "give" anymore unless the situation is truly of emergency status. Breathe --- :-) 
26 May 13 by member: deadcenter
Oh my! You're my idol. I'd have passed out on the kitchen floor in wine soaked clothes with an empty wine bottle in one hand and a crushed ice cream carton in the other. Your road crew is top notch! 
26 May 13 by member: FullaBella
LOL @ Bella, isn't she funny? Just saying good morning. 
27 May 13 by member: sarahsmum

     
 

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