lemizz's Journal, 01 May 2013

Had some victories during the week my computer was at the shop. I had a pair of shorts that I didn't expect to fit until the end of summer that are now comfortably roomy. Tons of tops that still had tags from when I was in denial about my size now fit. Best of all my favorite bathing suit is wearable again!! I no longer see myself as chunky. It's strange but I'm still affected by how I felt at a heavier weight. I actually caught myself turning down an invitation to a party like I used to because I didn't want those people to see how heavy I had gotten. I have to remember that I shouldn't feel that way anymore. I had kept telling myself that it was okay to be overweight. That it was okay to cover up with hoodies and fade into the background. I would tell myself that I was just introverted and preferred to be alone...but I was lying to myself and the people around me.

Diet Calendar Entries for 01 May 2013:
1092 kcal Fat: 51.01g | Prot: 66.64g | Carb: 107.95g.   Breakfast: Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets, Coffee, Cream (Half & Half), Chobani Champions Greek Yogurt - Vanilla Chocolate Chunk, Strawberries. Lunch: Spinach, Strawberries, Great Value Sliced Almonds, Pickled Egg, Feta Cheese. Dinner: Wal-Mart Wild Salmon Filets, Brussels Sprouts, Tomatoes, Spinach, Young Green Onions. Snacks/Other: Apples, Polly-O 2% String Cheese, Quaker Chewy 90 Calorie Lowfat Granola Bars - Peanut Butter, Cream (Half & Half), Coffee, Splenda No Calorie Sweetener Packets. more...
2130 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sitting - 3 hours, Housework - 2 hours, Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 1 hour, Resting - 10 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet lemizz's own diet  


Even though I fit a size 1 there are many days I still feel like a size 9. Also I notice when I feel heavier I wear brighter make-up that stands out. I think it is because I am trying to get people to look at my face not my waist. 
04 May 13 by member: iamachristianjesusfreak
Before I had my babies I felt the same as you. I was a size 0 at one point and thought I was so disgusting. Now I look back at pictures...even at a size 3...I can't comprehend why I felt that way! There is something to say here about age/experience/hindsight changing your wisdom. I'm so thrilled to be the size 7 I am right now. I can think of a time when that would have disgusted me. I think no matter what, women in our position will always struggle with body image. The only thing to combat it is to stay positive and keep making healthy decisions.  
05 May 13 by member: lemizz


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