iamachristianjesusfreak's Journal, 26 April 2013

Hollihop you don't know how much that means to me! It makes me want to push even harder towards my goal to know that not only am I helping myself but motivating others that it can be done.



I just want everyone to know am just like any others and somedays I really struggle with doing what I know I should do. I think the only reason I have made it this far is because I always get back with it. I have bad days but I just pull myself together and keep pushing towards the finish line. I am not going to let a few bad choices ruin everything I have worked this long for. I want to look and feel physically fit.

Trust me when I say there are days I just don't want to exercise and I don't. Others where I force myself too anyways. There are also days I can't wait to pump some iron or go for a long run. I am just as critical of myself as I am sure so many of you guys are too. After my bad 4 day slump I went and did leg day and then I made myself run a mile on the treadmill. I didn't want to do the whole mile either. I wanted to be done at half but I told myself I was going to do it and I wasn't going to give up. Now during that run I also beat myself up about the not so good eating and thought to myself "This is what you get for eating crap and not doing what you should have. Was it worth the sweets you ate to be doing this and feeling yucky? If you had put the proper fuel in you wouldn't be feeling this bad now!" Now typically I can tackle a mile no problem. But when I don't put the proper stuff in my body it struggles to perform as I want it too.

I also worry now that I am at a goal weight am I going to mess it up? I am eating more now, but I am still afraid to gain. We all know how hard it is to lose so we don't want to go through it again either. Do I expect to stay 115 on the money forever? No, but I do expect to stay in the same size pants. I am focusing on building muscle now and this the start of a whole new journey. Granted I lifted weights while losing weight but now I want to add muscle and maintain. So now I have to learn how to eat enough without overdoing it to get the results I want.

I do also want to say I am happy and content where I am but I want even more out of myself. I know I can do it and it will take time. But I really want to challenge myself to see what I can become. I don't want to be a woman version of hulk but I want something like Jenna Renee's body.




In other news I want to buy my swimsuit since they are 25% off thru Sunday. But can't decide which color would go best with my skin so I am taking a poll. I want the halter tankini top and the tie string bottom in either sugar coral or wild animal print. Help me pick a color please. I am pasty with freckles. lol!

swimsuit

Wild Animal Print image available here

Diet Calendar Entry for 26 April 2013:
1182 kcal Fat: 50.31g | Prot: 117.00g | Carb: 84.44g.   Breakfast: Egg, Unsalted Butter Stick, Egg White, Butternut Winter Squash, Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk. Lunch: Pure Almond Milk - Dark Chocolate, Unsweetened Coconut Flake, Water, Natural Unsweetened Cocoa, Organic Powdered Peanut Butter. Dinner: Kroger Habanero Shredded Cheese, Great Value Greek Nonfat Yogurt - Plain, Smart Chicken Boneless Skinless Chicken Breast Fillets, Roma Tomatoes. Snacks/Other: Natural Unsweetened Cocoa, Organic Powdered Peanut Butter, Chocolate Warrior Blend, Water, Unsweetened Coconut Flake, Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk. more...

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Comments 
I'd go with the Sugar Coral. You can do the muscle. I agree I don't want to be skinny but healthy and I think some muscle makes for a healthy look. You can do it because you are paying attention to it and monitoring the weight and calorie intake. 
26 Apr 13 by member: BeckyBaby65
Hrm, I would need to see the colors next to your skin to really help you decide... The lighter skinned models seem to be wearing the lighter solid colors, but I think you could pull of wild animal. The green in the suit should complement your eyes well. :) I completely understand where you're coming from with struggling through a workout after a night of goring on chips instead of fueling my body properly; and yet I never learn... ;) Now that you are at your goal weight, you won't mess it up! Sure there will be some days where the scale will fluctuate, but keep track of your measurements for a more accurate measure of progress. And if you can figure out how to gain muscle and maintain a healthy weight, please share the secret! Good luck with your continued journey!! You WILL succeed, just look how far you have already come!! 
27 Apr 13 by member: The Blue Box
What a great journal & as I always seem to find here on FS, just what I needed to hear! Having been out for dinner last night & even though I only had 1 1/2 glasses of wine, I'm feeling a bit sluggish this morning & unmotivated. You perked me right up & reminded me of why we fight this good fight! You are an inspiration & right on track. Being in maintenance is hard work (some say harder than while losing weight), but you have the right attitude! I'm finally accepting too, that this is a journey & will have its ups & downs. Even those who do not struggle with weight or food issues have days they overeat, don't exercise, etc. Thanks for the great reminder! xoxox 
27 Apr 13 by member: Ruhu
Iamachristian- I love your quote you added above! Agree with you 100% about having those days when you need to pull yourself together to stay on track. This can be for various things. Eating healthy has always been a challenge for me. Because of my unhealthy eating habits my weight has been like a see-saw. You are doing terrific!! The first victory is seeing what needs changed and the second victory is doing something about it! Recently, a trainer at the gym was telling me to focus on building muscle tone and not so much about my weight. I still have a weight goal set but I do agree about the strengthening part. I have a lot of work to do in that department! The group fitness class will be helpful! 
27 Apr 13 by member: Dianem65

     
 

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