DairyFarmersWife's Journal, 26 April 2013

Random thoughts.. because it's Friday and I shouldn't be operating heavy machinery with the amount of coffee I've had today.

I want to have an anti-filter day. Whatever pops into my head I should be allowed to say without any filter whatsoever. This could be dangerous. Right now a co-worker is wearing a shirt that makes her boobs look like one of those whirly optical illusion things. I'm pretty sure if you stared long enough they would look like swirling plates going in opposite directions.

I've drank 50.7 FL OZ of smart water. It's so smart I haven't had to pee for an hour. I'm gonna have to pee on my way home. I have an hour commute and there is 50.7 FL OZ of smart water traveling to my bladder. On the 5 o'clock news when you hear about the woman peeing beside a bush off the freeway.. it's me.

I ate cake. I was good and I said no thanks... then they took is all to the breakroom and all I could think was CHOCOLATE! So I was the kid running around the office yelling "WE"VE GOT CAKE!" Hopefully it's gone in the next 5 minutes or I may be the kid that goes back for seconds.

3 cups of coffee makes me jittery.. 4 cups makes me scary.. I wonder what 5 cups would do. Geez I hope the garden goddess doesn't have a swirly boob shirt on. I kinda want a swirly boob shirt now... It could get hubby to pay more attention to my boobs! Or cause him to have a seizure... My boobs are shrinking. If I ate cake my boobs wouldn't shrink anymore. Little known fact.. cake goes straight to your boobs! That's my theory.. and I'm stickin to it.

Why do the ads on the side keep altering between the really buff force factor guy that looks mean and the really freaky overly muscular 80 yr old guy. The younger guy.. ok.. the older guy? Freaky. Grandpa's are not supposed to have dancing pecs.

Jungle cakes! I like the word jungle cakes. I'm going to refer to hubbies butt at jungle cakes from now on. Man has a butt made out of steel! Me? Nope. How is that fair! I do squats and milk cows too! Jungle cakes! Quick.. everyone go tell someone you like their jungle cakes and see what they say. Yup yup.

I'm gonna go get more coffee now.

Diet Calendar Entry for 26 April 2013:
1380 kcal Fat: 80.92g | Prot: 50.35g | Carb: 112.48g.   Breakfast: Egg, Sugar, Cream (Half & Half), Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Borden Shredded Cheddar Cheese, Great Value Pork Sausage Patty. Lunch: Wegmans Spicy Salmon Brown Rice Roll, Dove Silky Smooth Dark Chocolate Bar, Blackberries (Alaska Native). Snacks/Other: Chocolate Cake (with Chocolate Frosting). more...
on diet Atkins  

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Comments 
Gimmie some cake NAO! ;P Is it a shirt that makes you see a figure in the optical illusion? I could never see the figure in those darn books! Jungle cakes... maybe you should lay off the coffee... Nah! :D 
26 Apr 13 by member: The Blue Box
So it must be the cake? Sugar and caffeine make a dangerous combination.  
26 Apr 13 by member: BuffyBear
I think if I went a day without filters I'd get kicked off fat secret, the internet and who knows what else...my side ad right now is for staples just because I ordered a paper shredder lately. At least it isn't for personalized M&M's - that just seemed cruel.  
26 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
What in the world am I doing that always gets me buffed men without shirts? Not that I'm complaining or anything... Must be the word jungle cakes. 
26 Apr 13 by member: DairyFarmersWife
I dunno because now mine is for erasing varicose veins in the legs.. give me jungle cakes :-) 
26 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
Huh.. I'm getting Hardee's now. It's better than the buff guy in his 90's! 
26 Apr 13 by member: DairyFarmersWife
OOOOMMMMGGGG! All I can say lmao!!!  
26 Apr 13 by member: thynes
You think this is bad you should see me when I've been drinking. :P 
26 Apr 13 by member: DairyFarmersWife
Mine is a Starbucks coffee ad for Hazelnut Macchiato and it looks good. So glad I am at home or I would be after that. You however I think have hit your quota on coffee today. lol! I love that you are unfiltered. Makes me feel more normal. I mean if there are two people like us there has to be a third somewhere right? Coughs*... BlueBox ;D 
26 Apr 13 by member: iamachristianjesusfreak
OMG! I'm rolling on the floor. Old ladies shouldn't laugh this hard. It makes our asthma act up. Where did I put that damned inhaler?!!! 
26 Apr 13 by member: Johanne
My ad is a little old "apple doll", ladies face with a cure for altzheimers! Ya think they're trying to tell me something?  
26 Apr 13 by member: Johanne
I get a lot of Zumba advertisements; enticing me to go spends tons of money on clothes, shoes, jewelry that normal people don't wear in public but I hunger for, lol. I try to wait til stuff is on clearance, but my shoes are wearing down.... Starbucks & jungle cakes sound good to me! 
26 Apr 13 by member: crabby Kat
:D 
26 Apr 13 by member: The Blue Box
OMG....This is just too doggone funny....LMBO!!! I've got a Verizon ad....must be cause I bad my bill early...LOL 
26 Apr 13 by member: Angela H
Mine is for the Chromebook. But, I've seen the old man with the buff bod! Hilarious! If eating cakes can save my boobs then pass the cake plate! And yes I'd take chocolate! Men's and women's butts are just different!I should have had that much water! Good for you! Wow! That much coffee AND water! I'd need some Depends!  
26 Apr 13 by member: BeckyBaby65
LOL girl you won't do...you crack me up...:O) 
26 Apr 13 by member: BHA
OMG don't make old ladies laugh, I laughed so hard the tears ran down my legs. You are TOO funny! Jungle cakes - like it. No buns of steel in this house unless you count the stale bread - LOL. 
26 Apr 13 by member: sarahsmum
Dam*t, you all have made me laugh so much even I have built up an appetite for cake! :0 
26 Apr 13 by member: Steviefan1

     
 

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