Sweet Ce's Journal, 25 April 2013

I know I've been on a juice fast for the past few days and that may have contributed to the weight loss... But it's also helped me to see that I don't need nearly as many calories as I think I do. I was also able to see that I often reach for food when I'm uncomfortable, bored or anxious.

Yes, I've probably known that for a while... But, here's the thing when I made the commitment to the juice fast, I was "all in". I want to make a commitment to conscious eating - only when hungry. I want to reach for a cup of tea, a juice or a glass of water first and then decide if I'm truly hungry or if I'm trying to escape something that puts me outside of my comfort zone.

Even that, I want to re-evaluate. "Comfort Zone" Does eating "comfort food" put me back in the zone? That's a good question. Is my "comfort zone" an illusion? Am I not so much comfortable, as "stuffing" emotions, anxieties, etc?

When I speak to my "beau", it is a new sensation. I've never had this kind of relationship. So.... I'm not totally comfortable - it's not an unpleasant lack of comfort - it's exciting and energizing - but it's still not a "comfortable" sensation in that it is not familiar. (The old "stuffed" feeling, though, is familiar - hence comfortable.)

So, here's the interesting part, for me: Even though I'm outside of my comfort zone with him, I'm not turning to food to self-soothe. I'm exploring the areas that are unfamiliar and less comfortable... and I'm losing weight... but I'm gaining insight in to me and my capabilities. I'm finding I'm more than I thought I could be.

And maybe that's my answer (at least for today) to Special K's question: What will you gain when you lose?

Hoping everyone out there in FS (and beyond) has a beautiful - and little uncomfortable - day. :-)
180.4 lb Lost so far: 21.6 lb.    Still to go: 15.4 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 25 April 2013:
1106 kcal Fat: 63.28g | Prot: 28.28g | Carb: 121.33g.   Breakfast: Coconut Water, Pear, Apple, Flax Seeds, Almond Butter, Almond milk. Lunch: Celery, Almond Butter. Dinner: Garden of Eatin' Blue Corn Tortilla Chips, Goats Cheese (Soft), 365 Haricots Verts, Baby Carrots, Peloponnese Kalamata Olives, Black Olives, Brown Rice. more...
2738 kcal Activities & Exercise: Housework - 1 hour, Shopping - 1 hour, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 20 minutes, Resting - 2 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Desk Work - 7 hours, Sitting - 4 hours. more...
on diet Awareness and Conscious Choices   losing 2.1 lb a week

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Comments 
Nothing to add or offer other than you're doing so very well esp w/identifying hunger vs feeding other needs. I'm sure I've said it before so please forgive the repeated ramblings of an old lady: when I'm hungry, I will eat something I love. When I'm bored I will do something I love. When I'm lonely I will reach out to someone I love. And when I am sad I will remember I am loved. 
25 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
ooohhhh. I don't remember reading that before so thank you, dearest Bella, for writing it here for me!!! This is perfect!!! 
25 Apr 13 by member: Sweet Ce
You're welcome; it is from the Eat What You Love, Love What you Eat' book, all part of mindful eating.  
25 Apr 13 by member: FullaBella
I think I gotta check out that book - it seems to have inspired and encouraged you on your journey. 
25 Apr 13 by member: Sweet Ce

     
 

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