mars2kids's Journal, 29 March 2013

Okay, journal 2 for the day and not weight related, but I'm needing some input from any buddies who have an opinion on a situation I have.
I have a friend who called my hubby (who's in law enforcement) the other day because she was in an arguement with her hubby and he called the cops because she hurt him slamming the door he was trying to break down to get to her. She wanted advice and to know what would/could happen to her because she hurt him, but she didn't want my hubby to tell me about it. Of course he told me because we both care for her greatly. But, now I don't know what to do. I want to let her know I'm here for her, but don't know how to do it without her getting upset that I know. I thought about getting a card and writing her a note to let her know I'm here for her if she needs me. I think if I called right now, she would just let it go to voice mail. She shouldn't go through this alone, she has so many friends, but won't let us in on any of her issues with her hubby because she doesn't want us to feel bad for her.
What kills me most about this situation is that even though she was trying to hide from him and had every reason to slam that door, she will think the whole thing is her fault and will stay with him. I wish I could just get her to see the light, that she would truly be better off without him, but she doesn't want to break up her family. I'm just at a loss. Would just sending a card and letter be enough, or should I do more, or should I just leave it alone since she didn't want me to know? My heart hurts for her so bad right now.

Diet Calendar Entries for 29 March 2013:
704 kcal Fat: 16.22g | Prot: 48.76g | Carb: 100.58g.   Breakfast: Quaker 100% Whole Grain Oatmeal, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds, Decaffeinated), Splenda No Calorie Sweetener with Fiber, Silk Light Vanilla Soymilk, Coffee-Mate Fat Free French Vanilla Liquid Coffee Creamer. Lunch: Baby Carrots, Mexican Spinach Bake. Snacks/Other: Pears, Designer Whey Strawberry Protein Powder, Dannon Light & Fit Yogurt - Raspberry, Frigo Cheese Heads reduced fat colby jack cheese sticks, Hershey's Bliss Milk Chocolate. more...
1910 kcal Activities & Exercise: Desk Work - 10 hours, Housework - 1 hour, Resting - 5 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
on diet mars2kids's own diet  


Wow, that's a difficult situation. Women in those situations don't get help until they are ready. There really isn't a lot you can do. Maybe a note that says you are thinking of her and if she ever needs anything to call you. You wish there was a way to make them see what they are doing to their children by staying. 
29 Mar 13 by member: Suzi161
Very tough situation, perhaps just confront her and explain that you and your husband do not keep secrets but assure her that you are there for her if she needs someone to lean on. I wouldn't wait until she is on the news though. Sounds like her husband needs some anger management and the fact that he is reporting her for being scared speaks volumes about his total lack of character.  
29 Mar 13 by member: Rhodes1970
Sorry to hear that. I actually think that writing her a note would probably be suspicious to her. Especially if writing a note is not normal between you and her. You don't want her to have any clues that you know anything right now. Otherwise, she may not even call your husband, or anyone else, because she's probably going to have trust issues. In your situation, I would think about a normal activity between you and her (e.i. going shopping, having lunch, etc.) Something that you guys have normally done before or like to do as friends. Whatever it is, try to invite her to do something together and invite other girlfriends in common. Otherwise it might be too akward and you may end up screwing everything up. Do something casual, maybe dinner at a restaurant or whatever you guys like to do. It should be a "girls only" thing. You don't have to tell anyone else about what you know. Usually women will talk about relationship issues when they are together and once the others start talking your friend might even open up and talk about her situation. Don't let her suspect anything! Act cassual and surprised if she tells you anything. Once she does, give her a big hug and while hugging let her know that you're there for her. Physical contact it's so important... I hope everything gets better soon :)  
29 Mar 13 by member: JanniceGomez
Pray for her. 
29 Mar 13 by member: MightyFull
Thanks for the responses! I will definitely be doing a lot of praying for her, and I did decide to go ahead and write her a short note. I got her a card that is just a Friendship card and let her know that I'm here if she needs anything. That is actually something I would do anyway. I kept it light, and didn't say anything about what happened, and figure if she really needs me she'll let me know. Again, thanks for listening and responding. :) 
29 Mar 13 by member: mars2kids


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