FullaBella's Journal, 26 March 2013

Continued self reflection yields my inner toddler is a set of triplets. Just about the time I think I've identified all of the personalities in Bellaworld new ones pop up and surprise me. So I'm just boxing the choices and hedging my bet right now with hoping there are only three.

Toddler One is a Foodie. She's the one sitting at the restaurant with arms folded across her chest and lips pressed tightly shut as she shakes her head 'no' to those foods so poorly prepared and overseasoned to the point the 'good taste of the food' is lost.

Foodie doesn't care anymore what it costs or that it's wrong to waste food; she's not eating it ~ definitely not 'finishing it.' The Foodie is new.

This all occurs internally just in case you wonder if I've become a pain in the neck dinner companion. Mature Bella takes a couple of bites and moves on to enjoy the conversation.

For over 40 years I've eaten and operated with the philosophy 'Dude, it's just food - eating it makes you gain weight; not eating it helps you lose weight. Eat or get away from the table'. Feast or famine.

Forty years of fighting overweight and poisoning my body tells me that philosophy was wrong. Foodie is teaching me to love and respect really good food. I like the Foodie.

Stepping out from behind the Foodie, though, was The Rebel. The Rebel is dangerously calculating and doesn't do well with the word 'No.' Maybe the Rebel just doesn't play well with others because she has kept all of us from finishing any 'challenges' here on FS. We sign up, get frustrated with 'no more eating this, must do more of that' and before we can offer any reasoning or summon fortitude the 'leave this challenge' link gets clicked.

Deciding to test if we've matured enough to be around others, maybe arrange a playdate with the other toddlers here on FS, I signed up for the DFW challenge to begin on April Fools Day. I'm wondering if W with her delicious sense of humor is going to just come out on 4/1 and say 'Fooled Ya ~ thanks for playing along.'

If not, this challenge promised entertainment and seemed 'do-able' enough. The four point's of the challenge included a flexible approach toward exercise, no junk food, no soda and no swearing in front of the Amish.

I deduced I was already 75% there as I haven't had any regular cravings for soda or junk food in many months and aren't aware of any Amish in Bellawood. W considers chasing cattle exercise so I substituted 'dog'; I swapped 'Amish' with 'grandsons' as I'm sure they would benefit from not hearing so much profanity spew from their Nana's mouth. All set.

So what happened? Oh, you guessed it. That VERY NIGHT the Rebel starts whining 'I want popcorn. And a coke. And some of those chocolate easter eggs setting over on the table that held absolutely NO allure to me until you said 'no'. Now they are as important as oxygen to me and I'll die if you don't feed me some Now! And you better do it NOW before the challenge begins because you can't have it then so now now now go pop some corn, pour that coke and... oh, yeah, I want a sandwich on wheat bread with mayo and another ... waaaaahhhhhh.'

What followed was actually amusing from an outsider's 'my, aren't the little kiddies cute to watch' standpoint. You know how when you try to spoonfeed the reluctant baby and they turn their face away and end up with a smear of gerber carrots across their cheek? That's what happened with the popcorn.

The Rebel served it up with victorious satisfaction; the Foodie grimaced and complained 'seriously... this sucks.... it's too salty .. I don't taste butter it's just greasy... really, I'm not eating this poison and you can't make me! Same goes for those silly chocolate eggs that are likely older than the dog... cripes, the cheap tin foil is still stuck on that one... geez.. if you're gonna do this to me... bring on the ghirardelli or godiva, for pete's sake!'

The Third Toddler is the Mindful eater. I think I'll call her Serenity. She's really good friends with the Foodie but displays an interesting sense of mindful eating for the sake of satisfying hunger. When the wonderful fresh bell peppers arrived last week, she was the one who determined, while chopping them up for a meal, 'hmmm, we will need to remove or reduce some other item here else or we'll get too full and won't enjoy this meal.'

Serenity stayed in the background for the longest time while I argued 'who care's if it's 10 gallons of salad ~ it's well within the RDI' and other such nonsense. Without Serenity I'd have said 'pishhh... a bell pepper... 50 cals... who cares!'

I'm so glad Serenity arrived because she's helping me enjoy having the 'Foodie' around without feeling deprived or anxious. She's also the one who reminded the Foodie 'hey, yeah, that Tuxedo cake IS good but do you need to keep eating it now that you're satisfied you've had enough sweets? You can always get more another day...'

I'm projecting positive reinforcement or attempting self fulfilling prophecies or some other new age psychobabble phrase that Serenity is the most self actualized of the group and stays with me a while. We need some balance here on the playground if we're going to last through the challenge.

Thanks for reading,
Bella

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1177 kcal

Fat: 49.35g | Prot: 60.90g | Carb: 141.63g.   Breakfast: Cold Milled Ground Premium Flaxseed with Mixed Berries, Triple Berry Blend, Old Country Style Muesli. Lunch: Celery, Spinach, Black Label Ham, Onions, Bell Peppers. Dinner: Merlot Bellavitano Cheese, Sweet Onions, Black Label Breakfast Ham, Efagold Coconut Oil, Baby Spinach, Sugar Free Strawberry Preserves, Cocoa Roast Almonds 100 Calorie Pack, Bananas, Total 0% Greek Yogurt (Container), Old Fashioned Oats. more...

1996 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...