FullaBella's Journal, 26 March 2013

Continued self reflection yields my inner toddler is a set of triplets. Just about the time I think I've identified all of the personalities in Bellaworld new ones pop up and surprise me. So I'm just boxing the choices and hedging my bet right now with hoping there are only three.

Toddler One is a Foodie. She's the one sitting at the restaurant with arms folded across her chest and lips pressed tightly shut as she shakes her head 'no' to those foods so poorly prepared and overseasoned to the point the 'good taste of the food' is lost.

Foodie doesn't care anymore what it costs or that it's wrong to waste food; she's not eating it ~ definitely not 'finishing it.' The Foodie is new.

This all occurs internally just in case you wonder if I've become a pain in the neck dinner companion. Mature Bella takes a couple of bites and moves on to enjoy the conversation.

For over 40 years I've eaten and operated with the philosophy 'Dude, it's just food - eating it makes you gain weight; not eating it helps you lose weight. Eat or get away from the table'. Feast or famine.

Forty years of fighting overweight and poisoning my body tells me that philosophy was wrong. Foodie is teaching me to love and respect really good food. I like the Foodie.

Stepping out from behind the Foodie, though, was The Rebel. The Rebel is dangerously calculating and doesn't do well with the word 'No.' Maybe the Rebel just doesn't play well with others because she has kept all of us from finishing any 'challenges' here on FS. We sign up, get frustrated with 'no more eating this, must do more of that' and before we can offer any reasoning or summon fortitude the 'leave this challenge' link gets clicked.

Deciding to test if we've matured enough to be around others, maybe arrange a playdate with the other toddlers here on FS, I signed up for the DFW challenge to begin on April Fools Day. I'm wondering if W with her delicious sense of humor is going to just come out on 4/1 and say 'Fooled Ya ~ thanks for playing along.'

If not, this challenge promised entertainment and seemed 'do-able' enough. The four point's of the challenge included a flexible approach toward exercise, no junk food, no soda and no swearing in front of the Amish.

I deduced I was already 75% there as I haven't had any regular cravings for soda or junk food in many months and aren't aware of any Amish in Bellawood. W considers chasing cattle exercise so I substituted 'dog'; I swapped 'Amish' with 'grandsons' as I'm sure they would benefit from not hearing so much profanity spew from their Nana's mouth. All set.

So what happened? Oh, you guessed it. That VERY NIGHT the Rebel starts whining 'I want popcorn. And a coke. And some of those chocolate easter eggs setting over on the table that held absolutely NO allure to me until you said 'no'. Now they are as important as oxygen to me and I'll die if you don't feed me some Now! And you better do it NOW before the challenge begins because you can't have it then so now now now go pop some corn, pour that coke and... oh, yeah, I want a sandwich on wheat bread with mayo and another ... waaaaahhhhhh.'

What followed was actually amusing from an outsider's 'my, aren't the little kiddies cute to watch' standpoint. You know how when you try to spoonfeed the reluctant baby and they turn their face away and end up with a smear of gerber carrots across their cheek? That's what happened with the popcorn.

The Rebel served it up with victorious satisfaction; the Foodie grimaced and complained 'seriously... this sucks.... it's too salty .. I don't taste butter it's just greasy... really, I'm not eating this poison and you can't make me! Same goes for those silly chocolate eggs that are likely older than the dog... cripes, the cheap tin foil is still stuck on that one... geez.. if you're gonna do this to me... bring on the ghirardelli or godiva, for pete's sake!'

The Third Toddler is the Mindful eater. I think I'll call her Serenity. She's really good friends with the Foodie but displays an interesting sense of mindful eating for the sake of satisfying hunger. When the wonderful fresh bell peppers arrived last week, she was the one who determined, while chopping them up for a meal, 'hmmm, we will need to remove or reduce some other item here else or we'll get too full and won't enjoy this meal.'

Serenity stayed in the background for the longest time while I argued 'who care's if it's 10 gallons of salad ~ it's well within the RDI' and other such nonsense. Without Serenity I'd have said 'pishhh... a bell pepper... 50 cals... who cares!'

I'm so glad Serenity arrived because she's helping me enjoy having the 'Foodie' around without feeling deprived or anxious. She's also the one who reminded the Foodie 'hey, yeah, that Tuxedo cake IS good but do you need to keep eating it now that you're satisfied you've had enough sweets? You can always get more another day...'

I'm projecting positive reinforcement or attempting self fulfilling prophecies or some other new age psychobabble phrase that Serenity is the most self actualized of the group and stays with me a while. We need some balance here on the playground if we're going to last through the challenge.

Thanks for reading,

Diet Calendar Entries for 26 March 2013:
1177 kcal Fat: 49.35g | Prot: 60.90g | Carb: 141.63g.   Breakfast: Old Country Style Muesli, Triple Berry Blend, Cold Milled Ground Premium Flaxseed with Mixed Berries. Lunch: Bell Peppers, Onions, Black Label Ham, Spinach, Celery. Dinner: Old Fashioned Oats, Total 0% Greek Yogurt (Container), Bananas, Cocoa Roast Almonds 100 Calorie Pack, Sugar Free Strawberry Preserves, Baby Spinach, Efagold Coconut Oil, Black Label Breakfast Ham, Sweet Onions, Merlot Bellavitano Cheese. more...
1996 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...


LOVE the new ID photo! Very nice! Serenity picked that out, didn't she? She was kind and considerate enough to leave room on the bench seat for "Foodie" and the "Rebel"! 
26 Mar 13 by member: RiverRes
What's the expression -- "There's safety in numbers"?!? I love how your rebel is outnumbered. Two against one --it works in my book. Well, I certainly also have a rebel in me & I've been praying for Serenity daily, so she must be there somewhere! Just have to tap into my foodie, make/find a few more friends & we could have our own FS baseball team! Love the journal, angel! Once again, you've made me look at my crazy food issues in another new light yet with humor. Xoxoxo 
26 Mar 13 by member: Ruhu
Wouldn't we have fun if we all let our "toddlers" loose in a fatsecret daycare facility? I sense much hair pulling and hording of toys would ensue. Do you think there are any more toddlers hiding in the background? I can't say that I've been in touch with my toddlers - they would have to be a pretty hardy lot because I have trouble keeping plants alive... makes me wonder sometimes how my daughter made it to 21.  
26 Mar 13 by member: evelyn64
Ha! The toddler committee. I think it is better than the Board of Directors that live in my peanut! 
26 Mar 13 by member: Neptunebch
Hey Bella..I love the new pic of the swing at the beach..I will picture this the next time I see the snow blowing out side..Love you toddlers, they seem to balance out each other very well...:O) 
26 Mar 13 by member: BHA
I think my toddlers aren t fit to play with yours. They Are so immature at my house. Serenity hasn t found her voice yet In my life but I love reading about everything you are experiencing. Go go go Bella. You are doing such a great job of growing up : ) 
27 Mar 13 by member: sharonfriz
There's not need to thank me for reading. I love reading your journals. I love discovering your discoveries. I can fully relate to the three toddlers. And I KNOW that so many here in particular can relate to Rebel, the little b**ch... lol. She's the destroyer of so many diets out there. We're doing fine, and the moment we're not allowed to do something, there's nothing in the world that will satisfy us other than that. I myself experienced it during my years in the US. I was craving the most ridiculous Danish dishes and products - simply because they weren't available. Stuff I wouldn't normally eat or do here in Denmark. Now it is out of reach AND I FRICKIN' WANT IT! lol. Thanks for reminding us, and thanks for helping us understanding what is going on "under the hood" of both you and us.  
27 Mar 13 by member: kingkeld
What a great journal! Such interesting thoughts... I can't seem to find my serenity but I'm working on it!! Thanks for sharing! 
27 Mar 13 by member: Bkeller1023
@Paula - thank you ~ and yes, Serenity was driving the mouse that day. @Angel ~ that could be it ! My own version of the moral majority is wading in instead of allowing the Rebel to run rampant in my life for a while. You know, the more I sit & watch my grandson play baseball, the more *I* want to get out on the field. When in the heck did THAT happen? I've always been a 'bring me another beer & hotdog while I stretch out here in the cheap seats' kind of gal! @ Evelyn ~ I think we're already at a FatSecret daycare :-) I don't know how many more toddlers are still buried in the 'ball bin' - will have to wait and see. And yes, it is interesting trying to nurture these little kiddos considering I choose plants and things around me that are labelel 'requires minimum attention'. @Neptune ~ LOL, can you imagine the committee meeting? Sticky fingers and that funny walking while we find our legs :-) @ Brenda - thank you. I was googling for something that reflected 'serene eating' and it really touched me for now. @Sharon ~ bring on your toddlers. I am sure they are far more advanced than mine. @Keld ~ okay, I won't thank you for reading (LOL) but I will thank you for your support and encouraging comments, okay? Glad to know I'm not the only one with a Rebel ~~ I was blaming James Dean (what are you rebelling against? I dunno... what'ya got?) @BK ~ thank you. I am not sure how long my Serenity has been lingering in the background either - just glad she's here for now and hope she stays :-) 
27 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella


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