FullaBella's Journal, 25 March 2013

Today is the seven month anniversary of Operation Oatmeal so time to update my 'Small but Subtle Changes' list. I keep and share this list as a motivating reminder to myself and others who find themselves with a long journey ahead that losing or gaining one pound at a time seems minimal in the big picture of life but it's important to recognize the small accomplishments along the way.

2/25/13 through 3/25/13:
*Lost 7lbs bringing total loss to 90lbs since 8/25/12
*Continued exploring and discovering food I love vs foods I was eating out of habit
*Climbed up a ladder to work on windows - could not have done that in Aug12
*Chose to walk outside more ~ rather than driving short trips in town
*Recognized I'm actually outwalking my little dog (she used to drag 'me' four months ago)
*Avoided binging my emotions during a really stressful month
*Recognized there's more to feed than just our hunger
*Have moved my weigh in to monthly insteady of weekly
*Finally got birds at the feeders - yay
*Happily recognized more and more I am intuitively thinking about the quantity of food for hunger satisfaction rather than the total caloric estimate ~ not over eating just 'because the RDI total says I can'
*Spring flowers are 'sprouting' - yay
*Began eating more fearlessly with my mindfulness instead of prerecording my entire day
*Added sauerkraut to my breakfast with noted results (probiotics)
*Finally found and cooked Steel Cut Oats ~ like them
*Lab results on 6mo checkup much improved on blood sugar, cholesterol, and blood pressure
*Continued to work daily on finding peace in my relationship with food
*Tried Chia seeds - love 'em!
*Recognized when I do have 'more food' some days, I'm not as hungry the next day ~ my body is driving my eating rather than my mind or cravings
*Think I may have a bit of 'foodie' in me as I recognize more and more how sensitive my palate has become as more junk clears my system
*Started making peace with my inner toddler
*Continued to make and keep great friends here at FatSecret and be inspired by every one of you every day.

The ongoing list that follows serves as my reminder that the little things weight and unhealthy eating took away may not have been so noticeable as they happened but getting them back has been incredible.

1/26/13 through 2/25/13
*Lost 9lbs bringing total to loss to 83lbs lost since 8/25/12
*Have a lap now ~ can rest a plate or book on it when sitting without a table
*Have NOT needed a two hour weekly massage to relieve pain in my neck and shoulders since Nov ~ my gosh, how much money have I saved??? Then again, a massage for the sake of a massage sounds good... hmmm...
*Have started returning to more 'standard' food without freaking out ala regular cottage cheese, mayo, and yogurt instead of that proverbial 'Fat Free' label and compromised taste with higher sugar
*However, did find 'Smart Balance' chunky peanut butter and it really has a great 'roasted peanut' taste - gosh, I hope that's not a synthetic chemical effect
*Found myself much more relaxed eating out now that I feel more confident about the food choices I'm making and enjoying them
*Multiple weird undiagnosible lumps on the back of my calves went away - have had those for 30 years - not sure if it's due to the treadmill, food, or just weird concidence or combination but nice to not look like I am smuggling golf balls in my ankles
*Gave up processed carb snacks (pretzels crisps, bagel chips) and still lived - better than that, nearly ten years of acne finally cleared up
*Can almost touch my forehead to the floor when I'm sitting cross legged on the floor - (am 6inch away) - could barely sit on the floor six months ago and needed a chair to pull myself up from the floor
*Actually run from time to time on treadmill at 6mph - no marathon but more than I ever thought I'd do
*Am not the hottest woman in the room anymore (haha) - I used to be so hot & out of breath I always needed a fan blowing on me.
*More of me, much much more of me, slips under the water line when I soak in my spa tub now - have had it for 5 years and always needed a wet towel on my upper body before to soak without getting cold
*Slid into a booth at a restaurant the other day confidently without slowly LOWERING myself and dreading having the table serve as my chest prop or having to move to a table with a chair
*Size 14 jeans (down from 28 or something with 3x on it)
*Stopped weighing myself daily and lived through it without going nuts
*Made some good progress on identifying screwed up thoughts that led to my poor eating habits (but you'll have to travel back in my journals to find them, LOL)
*Continued to be inspired and supported daily by the wonderful community here at FS
*Found myself wanting less and less sugar in my food
*Learned to really enjoy my precious CHEESE pleasure - Sartori Balsamic Yum!
*Not sure if it's due to my increased self confidence because I no longer feel like a fraud or decreasing weight discrimination or a combo of both, I get away with serving up more (and taking a lot less) crap with men. I know, that reads horrid but I run a business in a male dominated industry ~ I guess being stronger with what I put in my mouth made me a force to be dealt with regarding what comes out of it??
*Finally made the connection between quantity and quality and how overeating ANY food is going to keep me at risk for failure.
12/22/12 through 01/26/13
*Lost 9lbs bringing total to 74lbs since 8/25/12
*Wearing jeans now six sizes smaller than when I started
*Wearing ring guards now because my fingers are smaller
*Upped calories, fat and protein; decreased processed carbs and lived to tell about it
*Survived a 3 week plateau without giving up
*Put up birdfeeders for Winter. Waiting for birds now. 2/25: STILL NO BIRDS :-(
*Discovered beef puts me in a feeding frenzy but tuna suppresses my appetite. 2/25: This is no longer true. Beef satisfies my hunger if it's not 'lean'.
*Learned new ways to make a sandwich without bread
*Started sleeping better
*Found new ways to have a crunch food without chips
*Added hummus to my healthy snacks and like it
*Jogged briefly on my treadmill
*Continued to be inspired and encouraged daily by my great friends here at FatSecret.

Year end 2012 wrap up -- not necessarily all weight related:
*Actually conquered cooking Prime Rib
*Grew a tomato & pepper garden in my back yard
*Went away for a 'resting' weekend alone - no working involved
*Managed business all alone and didn't run it into the ground
*Survived three of MH's hospitalizations without falling apart
*Became very skilled at administering IV therapy at home
*Birth Mother passed away closing a very sad chapter of my life
*Battled a family member legally and closed another sad chapter of my life
*Bought exercise equipment for the first time in my life
*Managed to use exercise equipment daily without fail
*Sanded my own sidewalks when icy weather arrived
*Cleaned and Organized the storage room
*Discovered I have artistic talent and decorating store display windows
*Paid all of my taxes early
*Grew my nails long naturally (but have since broken them off again)
*Stopped going to bad hairdresser out of habit
*Discovered how the flash card on my camera worked
*Learned to cook oatmeal correctly
*Decorated for Christmas for the first time in a decade
*Learned how to use PS3 for wireless, Netflix, Amazon
*Stopped being cheap with myself on things I wanted
*Earned the right to take Defensive Driving again thanks DPS

12/15/12 through 12/22/12
*I don't know how but I lost 5lbs this week, bringing total to 65lbs lost and putting me halfway to loss goal
*Bought a treadmill and have walked on it twice a day for 15mins; avg speed 3.5mph; six days in a row
*Discovered cough syrups and cough drops cause me constipation (at least now I know!)
*Licked the spoon of MH's Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup and was grossed out - was like licking a salt block!
*Discovered wonderful Sobe Zero Calorie Lifewater - Fuji Apple Pear is my favorite
*Went to bed instead of grazing after soaking in the spa tub (always makes me want to eat so I've been limiting that pleasure to only twice a month because of it )
*Realized I've only had acid reflux one time since starting this ~ cannot remember the last time I bought zantac
*Did not let a bad cold or bronchial infection from continuing to work on my treadmill habit forming goal
*Added Almonds to my snacks without freaking out at the fat content ~ good fat, good fat
*Tried Turkey bacon - didn't hate it but probably because it's been four months since any other bacon period
*Shocked someone who hadn't seen me since I started - obviously loss is noticeable
*Continued to make new and keep good friends, receive incredible advice and support, and learn how to work through old issues through this wonderful community at FatSecret

12/6/12 through 12/15/12
*Lost 5 more pounds bringing total weight loss to 60lbs since August 25, 2012.
*Can lift & cross legs without assisting them.
*Woke early (on purpose) to work out in the fitness room at a resort instead of Bloody Mary Brunch
*Survived the All you Can Eat Buffet twice in one weekend without destroying my RDI
*Developed within myself a phrase I now call 'Visual Fulfillment' (see Journal 12/10/12 if interested)
*Broke another spoke on my wheel of insanity (see Journal 12/11/12 if interested)
*Can now feel the bones in the back of my hands when I run my fingertips over them
*Was able to slide into a smaller size jeans
*Was asked by someone 16 years younger & 80 pounds lighter walking to 'slow down'.
*Survived a self image hatred attack and grew stronger
*Have to prop myself up in desk chair - I must now have less padding in MY seat.
*Finally connected that a craving indicates a desire to 'taste', not consume an entire 'serving'.

11/24/12 through 12/6/12
*Lost 5 more pounds bringing weight loss to 55lbs since August 25, 2012
*I can now wear a regular bath towel instead of a bath sheet
*Will not need meds for diabetes and cholesterol; healthy eating restored levels
*Had a Doctor tell me she was impressed; with my history of obesity that is indeed a rare thing to hear and experience
*Six people commented on my weight loss this week tho most of the credit this week was due to new underwear.
*Stood and worked on Storeroom over 5 hours of bending and lifting; impossible four months ago
*Continued to make friends at FS and be inspired more than ever with their experiences, encouragement and support.
*I actually ate pasta and didn't have a guilt laden urge to purge
*Survived a couple of 'emotional' anger moments without binging; opened the fridge but walked away.
*Though a craving exploded to a binge I but didn't purge and got back on track with healthy eating the very next day
*Actually researched a treadmill online with really serious intentions to buy
*Made reservations for a weekend away and actually cared whether the hotel had a workout room rather than stocked minibar and midnight room service.
*Standing in line wasn't as painful as in the past
*Was able to bend down and pick a pen off the floorboard instead of having to step out of the car
*Twice I tried to get out of the car without unhooking the seatbelt (okay, that just reads idiotic regardless of weight but in the past it choked me so badly it was the first thing unbuckled before I even turned off the engine ~ now it's obviously loose enough to be an afterthought.)

8/25/ 2012 through 11/24/12:
*Lost nearly 50lbs
*Dropped 4 sizes in jeans and wearing pants with a zipper & a number rather than 3X
*Can stand over an hour now without pain
*Have more energy and confidence
*Have NOT STARVED or USED pills to suppress appetite
*Only one binge / purge incident and that was the first week
*Choose to walk more and park farther from stores when safe
*Can reach body parts easier as well as not feeling strangled by seatbelt
*Haven't suffered acid reflux at night once
*Am proud of myself
*Joined fat secret and met a lot of nice people and made some good friends
*Have found new healthy and delicious foods am confident I CAN do this the rest of my life
*Have lowered my fasting blood sugar from 160 to 110 without medication
*Am not fearing lab work check up due next week
*Am looking forward to doc visit - very rare as I hate the 'need to lose weight' lecture
*Have started taking stairs instead of elevator
*Have started treating myself with more care and respect
*Have found a nice balance between 'live to eat 'vs 'eat to live'
*Am looking forward to today, tomorrow and next 90 days.

194.0 lb Lost so far: 91.0 lb.    Still to go: 14.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 25 March 2013:
1090 kcal Fat: 58.66g | Prot: 61.10g | Carb: 88.08g.   Breakfast: Coconut Oil EfaGold, Spinach, Sauerkraut Libby, Egg. Lunch: Great Northern Beans, Cornbread. Dinner: Bella's Sunday Soup, Mushroom, Planters Nut rition, Crispy Sauerkraut. Snacks/Other: Cottage Cheese, Spectrum Flax. more...
1996 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...
on diet Make Peace with Myself   losing 1.2 lb a week


Look at you Bella, kickin' butt and takin' names!!! Everything you tell others about your journey helps them as well, so every time someone has read these posts, you've helped that many more people feel better about their own journey, their own pitfalls, their own setbacks and successes! You ROCK, Bella! I really zoned in on the "food tastes so good now that I don't eat junk". I have noticed that, I can TASTE things. I've slowed down to enjoy things, and I have "gasp" even spit things out because they didn't taste good and I didn't want them. I wouldn't have done that even a few weeks ago. Now, if I don't like it, I don't eat it. Period. And some of the credit for that goes to YOU, making it okay! Big HUGE oversized wrap around ya twice hugs! You are, my dear, Da Bomb-Diggity.  
25 Mar 13 by member: CollyMP
Love the list :-)! You are so right, sometimes the small set backs make us forget how far we have come. CONGRATS! 
25 Mar 13 by member: thynes
Great list!! What a good idea for your journey! You are so right that 1 lb. at a time may seem small, but added up over time, it's really amazing, 91 lbs.! The sauerkraut for breakfast though, I don't think I could do. :) 
25 Mar 13 by member: mars2kids
This is wonderful! You have again inspired me. I journal every day but I am going to start keeping track of my monthly successes as you have. Great to see the positive trend. You have done a really good job. Keep at it. Congratulations!! 
25 Mar 13 by member: CharleeSue
Okay -- looked back in your journal before asking with no luck -------- What is operation oatmeal???????? 
25 Mar 13 by member: deadcenter
Congrats, my angel! You have come so far in so many wonderful ways & never cease to amaze! 90 lbs -- that's almost a third of who you were. And you've gained so much amazing insight into who you are, how you think & what works and doesn't for you! I'm so proud of you & honored to have you as my friend! Xoxox 
25 Mar 13 by member: Ruhu
Thanks everyone. It has been quite an interesting journey so far and I pray it continues to remain so. You have all been such a great inspiration and support to me; I'm so grateful I found this site. Center: Operation Oatmeal is what I originally titled my 'change/journey/diet' whatever the label may be ~ I'd been diagnosed with very high blood sugar and cholesteral and started oatmeal for breakfast (instead of frozen pizza) to control it without medication. It was more of an attempt to gain health than lose weight. The rest of what followed was an unexpected evolving. 
25 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
You, Bella, are amazing. What an awesome list. Your journey reminds me quite a bit of mine - and it's so amazing to follow. Thank you for sharing all your experiences and thoughts with us, and thank you for posting these lists. They are a great reminder of how it felt to lose weight for "those of us who did it", and I know they are a great source of inspiration for "those of us who's doing it". Thanks again. Keep inspiring us, will you? 
26 Mar 13 by member: kingkeld
WOW Bella! What a journey. You are such an inspiration to all of us with your truth and humor. It's amazing how all those little things add up. Thank you for helping me stay on track.  
26 Mar 13 by member: cjmurph
You had a great month! 7 lbs. is awesome. I'm hoping for 9 between now and April 20th wedding and you have just inspired me. I'm loving the Chia seeds too! I still am using the RDI to guide my food intake but usually record AFTER I eat but should probably record before still. I love having your journey to travel with through life. 
26 Mar 13 by member: Neptunebch


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