FullaBella's Journal, 06 March 2013

Note: this journal has nothing to do with food or weight but it is about health - at least - MY mental health. So read on at your own interest.

Once again I had two of my favorite quotes reaffirmed yesterday: 1) The human mind is my favorite playground and 2) People who say you can't buy happiness just don't know where to shop.

Happiness yesterday cost me $675. The pseudo-bean counter in me has already cost averaged it as $337.50 for two days and even extended it to the 'less than $2 a day for the year.' Worth every penny.

I'm sharing this in my journal because, well, heck, it's my journal. I warned you.

But moreso - because I know I'm not the only caretaker on this site. So in the event you've experienced the same or similar situation this may idea bring you some relief too.

MH's COPD has progressed to the point that 1) he's constantly complaining he's 'hot' when it's only 64 degrees in here 2) because of his struggle to breathe combined with the steroids from his inhalers his moods are a little tough to take at times 3) I can't know for sure as I haven't experienced it but imagine his limited physical ability makes him feel less and less in control and affects the second thing even more.

Even when I'd bring in a thermometer showing him 'yes, it really is only 64 degrees in here' he'd accuse me of lying, playing with the thermostat, etc. Offering to turn the ceiling fan up higher or put up a circulating fan in the room to keep the icy air moving only irritated him more.

Finally I phoned our H/AC and asked 'do they even MAKE a remote controlled thermostat?' Sure, I could have played around on the interweb and done my own research but I needed someone to install it that was going to stand behind it so I just went out to the professionals.

They were stumped. They weren't sure. There are those that you can hook to your computer and Iphone but an actual remote control? Hmmm.

This intrigued me. This H/AC company handles 90% of the business in town, including the Daddy Warbucks folks over on millionaire row and *I* was the first person to ask for such a thing?

Then again, the Warbucks probably have hired help to keep fiddling with the thermostats or stand by and fan them personally.

Nonetheless, two days later they phoned back with 'indeed, they do actually make them and yes they can install them' and two weeks later it arrived and was installed yesterday.

MH is thrilled. Captain Kirk now in control of his command central. I chuckled inwardly when he said 'it's freaking cold in here, the A/C is set at 70 but it's only 67!'

It was a short chuckle because MH is a very intelligent man, especially when it comes to things like H/AC, electrical, plumbing, etc. Hence why he feels so frustrated and helpless at being chairbound now.

But the really cool part that came w/the new thermostat was this 'random circulating fan' that kicks on ~ so instead of chilling the room down to 63 just to get that air circulating that MH so desperately felt he needed, it now keeps the room at a constant 68. There's even an outdoor sensor to confirm 'it's only 32 degrees outside so 68 in here w/o AC or Heat is pretty darn good'.

I KNEW if he regained control of something - it would do wonders for his mood. I was right. I am realistic enough to know after so many other things it probably won't last (his happiness) but for today, it's pretty darn good.

So to repeat: 1) the mind is still my favorite playground and 2) if you think money can't buy happiness, check with me. I know where to shop.

Thanks for reading.

Diet Calendar Entries for 06 March 2013:
1327 kcal Fat: 73.89g | Prot: 90.25g | Carb: 70.07g.   Breakfast: Sargento 4 Cheese Mexican, Tomato, Egg, Bacon, Sauerkraut Libby. Lunch: Sauerkraut Libby, Ranch Dip Lays, Classic Potato Chips (40g). Dinner: Prime Rib, Swiss Cheese, Del Monte Sliced Peaches. Snacks/Other: Strawberries, Cottage Cheese 4%. more...
2058 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...


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The saying "money can't buy happiness" was either coined by someone who didn't have any money so they wanted to make themselves feel better about their situation or by someone with money who knew the truth but just wanted to placate the working class and make them more maniable. At least, that's my take on it because I agree with you - they just don't know where to shop :) It's so great that you were able to do something to make your husband happy - feeling helpless and "less than" is hard to take in small doses. Having that as your normal situation, day in and day out, has got to be impossibly difficult to bear. I hope the happiness the control brought will last for a long time - for both of you!  
06 Mar 13 by member: evelyn64
It's amazing really how something as simple as a remote control can make such a big difference. On a side note I wanted to say thank you, your journal entries are so engaging and interesting that you could be writing about solving major global problems, food or something as simple toilet paper and I'd still want to read them :-).  
06 Mar 13 by member: blueniamh
Even though life has given you more than your share of lemons, my Angel, you always seem to find a way to make the best lemonade! You deserve all the happiness your new remote brings! xoxox 
06 Mar 13 by member: Ruhu
@ Evelyn - yeah, there is little in life that can't be solved by throwing money at it. Sometimes I wonder if the reported complications and mortality of a lung transplant aren't a conspiracy because I'd sell everything we have if it would give him back his ability to breathe and walk again.  
06 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
@Blue - thank you. I laughed when I read 'write about toilet paper' because I just encountered the need to empty the urinal again and began wondering if yet another device existed for 'that'.  
06 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
@Angel - LOL, give me limes... I want a margarita!!  
06 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
Bella I'm sure you would be willing to give it all up just to have him back healthy again. I had no idea the challenges you face on a daily basis. You really do amaze me! I agree with Blue, your posts are really interesting and entertaining-I'm was already positive that you're in some sort of creative field, now I am hoping that you are a writer in what we'll laughingly call your "spare time". You have a real talent for it!  
06 Mar 13 by member: CollyMP
I'm was? Geez...sorry, can't spell today. 
06 Mar 13 by member: CollyMP
@Colly - awww, you've missed far too many of my ranting losing my mind taking care of MH journals. I'm always flattered and amazed people read me :-) Even more amused when someone 'gets me' LOL! I have NEVER been in any creative field at all. I've been everything from a dishwasher to director of corporate teams so I guess I have ... ugh.. what's the word.. (see, not a writer either) .. oh yeah, resourcefulness. My spare time results from being the biggest slacker in my owner operated business, LOL. Rather than working on inventory or pushing my wares on the internet I just hang out here, reading and writing, in between customers. Again, thank you, I'm glad people read me, comment and support my crazy days. 
06 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
Hey, new FS buddy! I really enjoy reading your comical journals...keep on being so encouraging with your sharing. 
06 Mar 13 by member: Josie Ann
@Josie - thank you for the buddy request and for reading! 
06 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
A bit of relief is "priceless", if only for a little while. So glad you thought of a way to get some for less than $2 a day, for you both. Hope it lasts my friend.  
06 Mar 13 by member: teskandar
@Teri - thank you. This definitely may last because he actually turned the HEAT on for most of the day and commented 'it's really nice in here' so ... woohoo.. 2 days of happiness in a row! I may just THAW out before summer! 
06 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
Bella you are amazing...dealing with a difficult situation with such humour and insight. I think you are right about the lose of control. My brother had a brain tumour and the surgery, chemo, and all of the time spent in the hospital and doctors office was no where near as bad to him as the lose of control over his own life and the limitation he had to adapt to. 
06 Mar 13 by member: fatoldlady
Wot she said-you really are amazing! Fatoldlady, I cannot call you that, but I am so sorry about your brother, that must have been horrible for him and for you to watch him go through it. I haven't any siblings so I cannot possibly know what you went through, though I can only imagine what it's like for him to be so out of control of his life, and for you to see it happening and it weren't that way.  
06 Mar 13 by member: CollyMP
You are one smart cookie Bella and definitely not a force to be trifled with. 
07 Mar 13 by member: sarahsmum
@Lady, thank you, hon. Honestly, while I read like some Florence Nightengale here, I'm not. At least once, if not twice a day, I run outdoors or to my sacred bathroom and just sit, breathe, pray and reboot to keep from losing my temper, mind, sanity (wait, that's the same thing) or whatever it takes to go back and tend to my life with a little calmness. Just this morning, as I sat on my back deck feeling the sun on my face and praying I thought 'I think I'll go to that Church on Sunday because I always enjoy listening to their bells - I need to go make a donation so the church sticks around!' I do recognize that loss of control is a pride robber and try to reinforce Mh's stature everyday - to the point that I sometimes feel bad about writing about him period. But then I remind myself 'he is a man, my spouse, a human, and he deserves the same fair wife response as any other man so there!' ((whatever it takes to rationalize my behavior no?)) Thanks again, Lady.  
07 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
@Colly - I can definitely empathize with Lady's brother and the way illness robs one of their independence and dignity. I get sooooo frustrated when 'we' are in the hospital ((ok, MH is in the hospital - I'm just standing by answering questions )) and the stupid docs & nurses start talking to ME about HIM as if he's not even there. One told me I was RUDE once because I wouldn't look at THEM and I answered 'hey, HE (MH) is still alive, alert, and able to make decisions! Let's talk TO him, not ABOUT him, okay!' Ugh. 
07 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
@Isabel - LOL - this morning, I feel like a crumbled cookie. I'm chattering away due to the after effects of too much coffee but I feel like a limp wet rag! But of all things, I am definitely still able to be resourceful and reground myself now and then when I feel like I'm losing grip at the end of my rope. 
07 Mar 13 by member: FullaBella
The best place to tie a good big knot is at the end of your rope! Totally with you on the dealing with the PATIENT thing, they're not a sheaf of papers, they are a PERSON, talk to the PATIENT about the patients care, they really do know best how they feel and what they want. Docs sometimes seem to forget that while we may not have a choice about illness we DO have a choice when it comes to the care we prefer.  
07 Mar 13 by member: CollyMP


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