FullaBella's Journal, 25 February 2013

Well, today is my Six Month Anniversary of Operation Oatmeal so in recognition, here is my updated list of Small but Subtle changes.

February 25, 2013 - since 1/26/13

*Lost 9lbs bringing total to loss to 83lbs lost since 8/25/12
*Have a lap now
*Have NOT needed a two hour weekly massage to relieve pain in my neck and shoulders since Nov ~ my gosh, how much money have I saved??? Then again, a massage for the sake of a massage sounds good... hmmm...
*Have started returning to more 'standard' food without freaking out ala regular cottage cheese, mayo, and yogurt instead of that proverbial 'Fat Free' label and compromised taste with higher sugar
*However, did find 'Smart Balance' chunky peanut butter and it really has a great 'roasted peanut' taste - gosh, I hope that's not a synthetic chemical effect
*Found myself much more relaxed eating out now that I feel more confident about the food choices I'm making and enjoying them
*Multiple weird undiagnosible lumps on the back of my calves went away - have had those for 30 years - not sure if it's due to the treadmill, food, or just weird concidence or combination but nice to not look like I am smuggling golf balls in my ankles
*Gave up processed carb snacks (pretzels crisps, bagel chips) and still lived - better than that, nearly ten years of acne finally cleared up
*Ordered a cuisinart to make my own veggie smoothies to give myself more nutrition to replace supplements ~ waiting on it to arrive
*Can almost touch my forehead to the floor when I'm sitting cross legged on the floor - (am 6inch away) - could barely sit on the floor six months ago and needed a chair to pull myself up from the floor
*Actually run from time to time on treadmill at 6mph - no marathon but more than I ever thought I'd do
*Am not the hottest woman in the room anymore (haha) - I used to be so hot & out of breath I always needed a fan blowing on me.
*More of me, much much more of me, slips under the water line when I soak in my spa tub now - have had it for 5 years and always needed a wet towel on my upper body to soak without getting cold
*Slid into a booth at a restaurant the other day confidently without slowly LOWERING myself and dreading having the table serve as my chest prop or having to move to a table with a chair
*Caught my reflection in the glass walking into a store the other day and noted I did not look that different from another normal sized woman walking in the store beside me
*Size 14 jeans (down from 28 or something with 3x on it)
*Stopped weighing myself daily and lived through it without going nuts
*Made some good progress on identifying screwed up thoughts that led to my poor eating habits (but you'll have to travel back in my journals to find them, LOL)
*Continued to be inspired and supported daily by the wonderful community here at FS
*Found myself wanting less and less sugar in my food
*Learned to really enjoy my precious CHEESE pleasure - Sartori Balsamic Yum!
*Recognize I'm becoming a force to be reckoned with because I feel so much stronger inside and out now
*Finally made the connection between quantity and quality and how overeating ANY food is going to keep me at risk for failure.

The rest of the list follows as a reminder to myself that taking off the weight will take as long or longer than I gained it - one pound at a time, well, maybe two on a big binge weekend. The little things it took away may not have been so noticeable as it happened but getting them back has been incredible.
01/26/13 since 12/22/12:
*Lost 9lbs bringing total to 74lbs since 8/25/12
*Wearing jeans now six sizes smaller than when I started
*Wearing ring guards now because my fingers are smaller
*Upped calories, fat and protein; decreased processed carbs and lived to tell about it
*Survived a 3 week plateau without giving up
*Put up birdfeeders for Winter. Waiting for birds now. 2/25: STILL NO BIRDS :-(
*Discovered beef puts me in a feeding frenzy but tuna suppresses my appetite. 2/25: This is no longer true. Beef satisfies my hunger if it's not 'lean'.
*Learned new ways to make a sandwich without bread
*Started sleeping better
*Found new ways to have a crunch food without chips
*Added hummus to my healthy snacks and like it
*Jogged briefly on my treadmill
*Continued to be inspired and encouraged daily by my great friends here at FatSecret.

Year end 2012 wrap up -- not necessarily all weight related:
*Actually conquered cooking Prime Rib
*Grew a tomato & pepper garden in my back yard
*Went away for a 'resting' weekend alone - no working involved
*Managed business all alone and didn't run it into the ground
*Survived three of MH's hospitalizations without falling apart
*Became very skilled at administering IV therapy at home
*Birth Mother passed away closing a very sad chapter of my life
*Battled a family member legally and closed another sad chapter of my life
*Bought exercise equipment for the first time in my life
*Managed to use exercise equipment daily without fail
*Sanded my own sidewalks when icy weather arrived
*Cleaned and Organized the storage room
*Discovered I have artistic talent and decorating store display windows
*Paid all of my taxes early
*Grew my nails long naturally (but have since broken them off again)
*Stopped going to bad hairdresser out of habit
*Discovered how the flash card on my camera worked
*Learned to cook oatmeal correctly
*Decorated for Christmas for the first time in a decade
*Learned how to use PS3 for wireless, Netflix, Amazon
*Stopped being cheap with myself on things I wanted
*Earned the right to take Defensive Driving again thanks DPS

12/ 22, 2012 - since 12/15/12:
*I don't know how but I lost 5lbs this week, bringing total to 65lbs lost and putting me halfway to loss goal
*Bought a treadmill and have walked on it twice a day for 15mins; avg speed 3.5mph; six days in a row
*Discovered cough syrups and cough drops cause me constipation (at least now I know!)
*Licked the spoon of MH's Campbell's Cream of Chicken soup and was grossed out - was like licking a salt block!
*Discovered wonderful Sobe Zero Calorie Lifewater - Fuji Apple Pear is my favorite
*Went to bed instead of grazing after soaking in the spa tub (always makes me want to eat so I've been limiting that pleasure to only twice a month because of it )
*Realized I've only had acid reflux one time since starting this ~ cannot remember the last time I bought zantac
*Did not let a bad cold or bronchial infection from continuing to work on my treadmill habit forming goal
*Added Almonds to my snacks without freaking out at the fat content ~ good fat, good fat
*Tried Turkey bacon - didn't hate it but probably because it's been four months since any other bacon period
*Shocked someone who hadn't seen me since I started - obviously loss is noticeable
*Continued to make new and keep good friends, receive incredible advice and support, and learn how to work through old issues through this wonderful community at FatSecret

12/15/12 since 12/6/12:
*Lost 5 more pounds bringing total weight loss to 60lbs since August 25, 2012.
*Can lift & cross legs without assisting them.
*Woke early (on purpose) to work out in the fitness room at a resort instead of Bloody Mary Brunch
*Survived the All you Can Eat Buffet twice in one weekend without destroying my RDI
*Developed within myself a phrase I now call 'Visual Fulfillment' (see Journal 12/10/12 if interested)
*Broke another spoke on my wheel of insanity (see Journal 12/11/12 if interested)
*Can now feel the bones in the back of my hands when I run my fingertips over them
*Was able to slide into a smaller size jeans
*Was asked by someone 16 years younger & 80 pounds lighter walking to 'slow down'.
*Survived a self image hatred attack and grew stronger
*Have to prop myself up in desk chair - I must now have less padding in MY seat.
*Finally connected that a craving indicates a desire to 'taste', not consume an entire 'serving'.

12/06/2012 - since 11/24/12:
*Lost 5 more pounds bringing weight loss to 55lbs since August 25, 2012
*I can now wear a regular bath towel instead of a bath sheet
*Will not need meds for diabetes and cholesterol; healthy eating restored levels
*Had a Doctor tell me she was impressed; with my history of obesity that is indeed a rare thing to hear and experience
*Six people commented on my weight loss this week tho most of the credit this week was due to new underwear.
*Stood and worked on Storeroom over 5 hours of bending and lifting; impossible four months ago
*Continued to make friends at FS and be inspired more than ever with their experiences, encouragement and support.
*I actually ate pasta and didn't have a guilt laden urge to purge
*Survived a couple of 'emotional' anger moments without binging; opened the fridge but walked away.
*Though a craving exploded to a binge I but didn't purge and got back on track with healthy eating the very next day
*Actually researched a treadmill online with really serious intentions to buy
*Made reservations for a weekend away and actually cared whether the hotel had a workout room rather than stocked minibar and midnight room service.
*Standing in line wasn't as painful as in the past
*Was able to bend down and pick a pen off the floorboard instead of having to step out of the car
*Twice I tried to get out of the car without unhooking the seatbelt (okay, that just reads idiotic regardless of weight but in the past it choked me so badly it was the first thing unbuckled before I even turned off the engine ~ now it's obviously loose enough to be an afterthought.)

11/24/ 2012 Since Starting 8/25/ 2012:
*Lost nearly 50lbs
*Dropped 4 sizes in jeans and wearing pants with a zipper & a number rather than 3X
*Can stand over an hour now without pain
*Have more energy and confidence
*Have NOT STARVED or USED pills to suppress appetite
*Only one binge / purge incident and that was the first week
*Choose to walk more and park farther from stores when safe
*Can reach body parts easier as well as not feeling strangled by seatbelt
*Haven't suffered acid reflux at night once
*Am proud of myself
*Joined fat secret and met a lot of nice people and made some good friends
*Have found new healthy and delicious foods am confident I CAN do this the rest of my life
*Have lowered my fasting blood sugar from 160 to 110 without medication
*Am not fearing lab work check up due next week
*Am looking forward to doc visit - very rare as I hate the 'need to lose weight' lecture
*Have started taking stairs instead of elevator
*Have started treating myself with more care and respect
*Have found a nice balance between 'live to eat 'vs 'eat to live'
*Am looking forward to today, tomorrow and next 90 days.

Diet Calendar Entries for 25 February 2013:
1397 kcal Fat: 91.13g | Prot: 95.82g | Carb: 55.25g.   Breakfast: Coffee, Spinach, Egg, Tomato, Mushroom. Lunch: Hamburger , Avocado, Marc Almonds. Dinner: Turkey, Spinach, Salsa, Portabella Mushrooms. Snacks/Other: Simply Kraft Cottage Cheese, Strawberries, Blackberries, Spectrum Flax, Smart Balance Peanut Butter. more...
2078 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...


Happy Anniversary!!! You are such an inspiration; thank you for sharing your journal with all of us. 
25 Feb 13 by member: jaime30024
YaY! Great job 
25 Feb 13 by member: Sirick
Wow! I read everything and got amazed by all your accomplishments! You're such an inspiration... Oh, my God! I wish I could've been there to see every step of your progress and maybe learn some things! Keep doing that! Thank you for the opportunity to read this!  
25 Feb 13 by member: Re Becca
You're my HERO!!!  
25 Feb 13 by member: Rubie-sue
Happy Anniversary "little" lady.  
25 Feb 13 by member: 2toofat
There just aren't words strong enough to say what an inspiration you are! Happy anniversary Angel! 6 months & 83 lbs is amazing! xoxox 
25 Feb 13 by member: Ruhu
So much information. I'm a little/lot jealous at your self discoveries. Not jealous or envious in a bad or negative way. I admire your self examinations and self realizations. You have gained so much knowledge while you lost the weight. You are indeed a force to be reckoned with. And lastly congrats on losing so much weight. Size 14 jeans is fabulous from a sz 3x.  
25 Feb 13 by member: sarahsmum
Best 6 months ever! Congratulations on all the achievements along your journey! 
25 Feb 13 by member: RiverRes
What an amazing list! If this is not motivation - for both you and everyone else - then nothing is. Well done, and happy anniversary, Bella.  
26 Feb 13 by member: kingkeld
Happy anniversary...You have come a long way..congrats...:O) 
26 Feb 13 by member: BHA
Just reading your journal entry again, wow, you have done SO well, amazing. Can't wait to see how the rest of your journey goes. You could well right a book when you are done.  
26 Feb 13 by member: sarahsmum
I bow to your awesomeness! Seriously, you have truly accomplished major things and helped many people along the way, sharing your journey, humor, insights, and grace. Congratulations on everything you've accomplished! Happy Anniversary, too! 
26 Feb 13 by member: crabby Kat
Thank you everyone for reading and commenting on my journal and anniversary and very long list. I debate posting it at times because it does get a bit long and tedious but I do it for myself as a reminder how those 5-10lbs in and of themselves make a difference. I've been such a failure at this for so long because I would 'get there' without doing the work to 'stay there' or I'd be complacent about 'eh, these jeans are feeling snug ... oh well, it's only 10lbs...' and then lose control until I was back at 280+lbs. So, I appreciate you reading the list (esp you reading it twice Isabel) and for being my supportive caring friends. Bless you all. Bella 
26 Feb 13 by member: FullaBella
All I can say is Wow wow wow. This is amazing! Way to go. Glad you are my buddy and love reading your journals! 
26 Feb 13 by member: Neptunebch
Thank you Neptune ~ I'm glad you're my buddy too. I'm really so grateful that I have met so many nice people here who've helped me find sanity and serenity in all of this.  
26 Feb 13 by member: FullaBella


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