FullaBella's Journal, 07 February 2013

Thursday, right?

You know, if the Mayor of Gotham city can send up a signal when he needs Batman then surely OUR Mayor can do something similar with the days of the week. Wouldn't it be great to look up and see the day of the week posted? Then again they'd probably have to sell some freaking ads in order to pay for that and the sky would be full of commercials. Oh well.

So three things (so far) this morning.

First, my acne finally cleared up about a week ago. I know, stop rolling your eyes and wondering if I understand how puberty works. I've had these two constant embarrassing age defying facial cleansing program defeating zits on my left cheek for YEARS that would never heal or go away. I even stopped wearing makeup and thought a couple of times I was going to take the whole top layer of skin off my face scrubbing it.

I'd actually been disappointed that the change in diet and increase in water didn't yield any progress after even after five months so the only thing I can actually attribute it to 'now' is either the change in diet finally kicked in a necessary hormone OR the fact that I eliminated 'processed' grains (baked bagel chips, pretzel crisps and cornbread bites) about two weeks and that was the underlying cause and cure. Either way, color me pleased. Pleased and zit free for the first time this decade.

Second, the scale is now sitting on a chair in the laundry room. I'd been considering moving my 'weigh in' to weekly instead of hourly for days now and finally decided to do it after Joy & Doubt squared off this morning. The silly conversation that served as the catalyst for this decision went something like this:

"Wow - is that 207 or 206?"
'Does it really matter? A loss is a loss.'

"Sure it Matters! A pound is very important.'
'Yeah, well, if it were that important to you, you'd have stopped eating those homemade kale chips yesterday after the first bite when you discovered you'd made them too salty.'

"Oh, so you think it would have could have may have been even 205 if I hadn't eaten that... wow... darn..."
'You're making me nuts again.'

So if you heard and wondered about that sonic boom this morning it was Logic grabbing the scale with a GAAAAAAAAHHH screech: "That's it, you too are driving ME crazy and I've had enough. No more daily weigh ins! Stay the course, record your food, make good choices and drink your water!"

So I put the scale up on a chair so that I won't be tempted to step in there a dozen times a day under the guise of 'doing laundry' or every time I take the furbaby outside to potty. Yay me.. bring on the sanity.

Staring at the now vacant spot in front of my little bathroom statue I had a moment of anxiety and considered putting Olive down there (my new palm plant) but no, deep breaths, I'll be fine.

Third: I'm not sure if I'll ever achieve real sanity. Maybe it's because "Frasier" is on in the living room as I go about my morning errands but this is when I do most of my self reflection and analytical thinking. This morning I was thinking about my recent plant purchases. A palm and a terrarium. The palm is very pretty but also prickly. The terrarium is self contained and other than the occasional watering only requires me to open the lid now and then. Both came with label 'requires minimal attention'.

So at first I concluded, "Oh great, I've chosen two plants that for all intensive purposes represent the height of existentialism," as I've always considered that a one size fits all label for prickly isolated people devoid of any warmth or dependence on others. This on the heels of my 'I hate to be hugged' journal the other day seemed to be something worthy of a Freudian field day. But then I read about more about it and though arrived at no solid real conclusion I feel the end result was 'good' that I'm paying more attention to my choices - food and otherwise.

Anyway - that's about it. Yes, I buried the whole 'I lost either 3-4 pounds' in all of this because I am trying to make the next six months of this process more about mental and emotional growth than the needle on a scale. I think if I stop trying to figure out my universe based one one little 'dial' and start looking at the big picture I may be able to get some real work done.

Well, that's it folks.. y'all drive safe and be sure & tip your servers now, ya hear?
Bella

207.0 lb Lost so far: 78.0 lb.    Still to go: 27.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 07 February 2013:
1447 kcal Fat: 45.70g | Prot: 112.55g | Carb: 161.24g.   Breakfast: Coconut Oil, Quaker Old Fashioned Oatmeal, Coffee, Schwans Blueberry, Flax Seed, Chobani Non Fat Yogurt. Lunch: Vlasic Kosher Spears, Sugar Free Balsamic, Sunsweet Prunes, Alaskan Salmon, Spinach. Dinner: Schwans Salmon Burger, Broccoli. Snacks/Other: Fat Free Cottage Cheese, Cinnamon Chex, Schwan Triple Berry. more...
2130 kcal Activities & Exercise: Sleeping - 24 hours. more...
on diet Make Peace with Myself   losing 1.8 lb a week

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Comments 
Yes!!!!! We should have a gotham like light in the sky that shows the day...especially for those of us that have to get up for work when it is still VERY dark outside!! It sounds like the removal of the grains cleared your face....that is AWESOME!!!  
07 Feb 13 by member: jaime30024
Congrats on the nice loss! I'm 48 and still get breakouts all the time. At least there's an upside to a lifetime of battling acne - oily skin ages more slowly than normal or dry skin so at least I have less wrinkles than most of my clearer complexioned counterparts. Good job giving yourself some breathing room between you and the evil scale. I really think the scale is only helpful at the beginning when we see steady and regular losses and when we need to make sure that we are on target with what we are eating. But, once you've been at it for several months or more, the weight loss slows, the love affair ends, and the scale becomes more of an opponent than an ally. Learning to live without its approval is tough but I think we are better off for it.  
07 Feb 13 by member: evelyn64
Great loss! Bury those dead and gone pounds! Happy to hear your face is behaving too. Okay - I am almost to the point where I'm not going to add ANY salt to my kale chips - It seems like even 10 grains is to much. I eat them anyway too with a big glass of tea! Yum! So much nutrition in all that kale. :) 
07 Feb 13 by member: Neptunebch
Lucky for me Jaime my daily commute is well lit - a short walk from the 'back of the building' to the front of the 'store' - I love it. Heaven only knows where I'd end up if I were in a car in the dark - probably the airport (after years of travel.) Yeah, Evelyn, I used to say (because my face didn't wrinkle as much) that old joke 'fat don't crack' but when I lose weight I get 'Grinch' wrinkles - that with acne sucked. At least one is gone. Yeah, I think scale and I need to give each other a little breathing room. It's been funny thinking about it today ... tomorrow morning will be a challenge. Neptune - please remind me your name (if you don't mind) - last night was my FIRST time to make the Kale chips but I did so thinking of you and your suggestion. I added parmesian cheese to mine and I think the sodium in that and the salt sent it over the edge of the salt lick. I did add cayenne pepper to the third batch and that wasn't bad but the salt was already there. So next batch NO salt, less olive oil and even less other stuff. Thanks everyone! Bella 
07 Feb 13 by member: FullaBella
Congrats on the loss of the pounds AND the pimples! :) Loved today's journal... keep on keeping on... 
07 Feb 13 by member: erika2633
Congrats on the loss...have a great evening..:O) 
07 Feb 13 by member: BHA
Great loss again! Good luck on not pulling the scale off that chair. I know I couldn't do it. I would spend the time saved by not weighing just worrying about what it would have said. 
07 Feb 13 by member: 2toofat
Good for you on the loss... of lbs, pimples & the scale! I stopped weighing myself daily a few weeks ago -- my health coach suggested weighing only weekly -- and it's been great. As we talked about it, I realized that when my weight was down it gave me an excuse to overeat, and when it was up, I'd beat myself up about it. Since then, even with my travels, my weights stayed consistent. Hope you find it helpful too, my angelic friend! 
07 Feb 13 by member: Ruhu
Your big picture is looking good! I love reading your journals; they make me laugh AND think deep thoughts.  
07 Feb 13 by member: crabby Kat
Wow! Since my 83-year old mother still has the occasional pimple, I had resigned myself to owning clearasil for the rest of my life. Are you telling me these things can be minimized by eliminating my already guilty choice of pretzels and other stupid, bagged snacks? Hmmm. YOu always give me good information. I love that you are so observant! Good luck with your scale management. I have been too afraid. Too afraid that I will miss that one golden moment when I weigh 192 instead of 193. Have a great day!  
08 Feb 13 by member: RiverRes
Bella, all I can say is you make my smile. Sane or not who can say but I like your style. 
08 Feb 13 by member: sarahsmum
You know, Sandi - I wondered the same but this wasn't an impulse, I'd been considering it for days / maybe a couple of weeks and am going to journal about it later today on how I reached the decision with a somewhat sane metaphor (no promises Isabel.) Paula - I'm not guaranteeing it was the processed grains - so please don't sick General Mills on me - I'm just saying it's the only thing that has changed in two weeks. But if you feel like giving it a go, I need you to sign my disclaimer release, please, LOL. Angel and Kathy - thank you too - I feel eerily comfortable with my decision and did freak a little last night to note what appeared to be a fresh blemish now on the right cheek but it was gone this morning (whew!). Bren & Erika - thank you too - yep .. gonna keep on keepin' on ... Bella 
08 Feb 13 by member: FullaBella
Nice loss...I sure understand what you mean about weighing...been there myself. As for self reflection, I do the same when I am cleaning! Not sure why! Have a great weekend! 
08 Feb 13 by member: ctlss

     
 

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