madaboutmoose's Journal, 30 January 2013

Wednesday! Wonderful Wednesday! Sure!

I was dog tired when I got home last night. Had some delicious broccoli soup and hoped to turn in early. Unfortunately my daughter called. Her dog had run off the night before. She'd already talked to dad earlier in the day and I was hopeful I could avoid it but nope. An hour of what felt like work. Please don't misunderstand me as a cold hearted person. I love my animals. They hold a very special place in my life. I grieve when they depart from my life. But I know they are animals, not humans, they are different than me. They do not experience the same types of emotions. Although I call them my fur babies they are not actual babies. Still precious but different.

Oh my dear daughter is a bit hysterical, life sucks nothing good ever happens to her. If she took half of her devotion to finding the dog and put it towards her life, finding a job, well her life would rock! She lacks perspective, understanding of others, balance. Oh, and the dog was found. Wandered 6 or so blocks away and showed up on someone's porch who took him in. She posted on Craigslist and they emailed her. So the story ends well. I was great on the phone. Therapist Carol in full force but my internal dialogue? Oh not so patient, kind, and understanding. So after a very full day of clients and driving nearly 150 miles I was tired.

Then when DH got home I was wide awake. Dozed off for a little while then just gave up and got up.

I love her dearly but sometimes she wears me out. Truly I thought by this stage of her life ( nearly 33) it would be different but not a whole lot. I'm pleased she is still sober but she still doesn't truly believe she has an alcohol problem. I just has to keep reminding myself that her problems are not mine. I can listen. I can give counsel when she asks for it. But I cannot change her.

Other than that Mrs. Lincoln. How was the play?

So today is a new day. Not so many clients today. Meetings and one client. Maybe catching up on some paperwork. Another day for me to practice kindness towards myself, staying present in the moments, being mindful. Yes.

Grateful I am ...

That Zorro was found.
That I maintained my own perspective with my daughter and kept my internal dialogue to myself!
The scale said 209 this morning (although at 3 am it said 208.8!)
Not too many clients or driving today
For broccoli soup that only added up to 240 calories for a lot of soup!
That I can vent her and hopefully no one will take offense.
My daughter IS sober. That is a good first step.
My husband shares my frustrations.
My husband is still alive. Still sharing life with me.
That I am able to name what I am grateful for.

Whew. Now I must clean up the mess I made in our generator room. While filling the water I inadvertently let it overflow! Dang. I hate when I do that! So wet towels and water on the floor on a chilly morning. LOL! Life IS good! Take care my friends!

209.0 lb Lost so far: 50.2 lb.    Still to go: 24.0 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.