Lizzie983's Journal, 22 January 2013

I was up of one rull kilo today, after craving all evening yesterday. Then I realized it's TOM and all of the previous make sense. Will record weight again after that, since now it is not the real one.

Had my meeting with my German-Italian speaking partner. I prepared few topics in German for tonight, ended up talking about different ones, but still in German. I am proud of myself! Slowly overcoming being shy when speaking a language I am learning.
We went to a good Italian restaurant, and for the first time after at least 4 years, I have been very choosy when looking at the menu. In the past I used to be like that, finding very few appealing meals and then going for the lighter one. For few years I felt like eating everything from the menu, usually ordering more food than I could actually eat.
Maybe it's a sign my relationship with food is slowly improving. I hope so, at least!

It has been a productive day, after so many months of nothing. I am seriously studying German, dowloading and listening to fairy tales, news, radio programs.
I think I have been preventing myself from living my life at my best. I haven't been able to focus on anything for such a long time. Now I am able to read a novel, learn German, focus on conversations, deal with many practical problems at the same time. It sounds fantastic! I think my brain was just overloaded with grief and pain, from too many bad events at the same time. Loosing my mom on January 2011 and realizing my marriage was over on July 2011 was too much, even if at that time I was trying to hold on and did not take care of myself.
I am such a happy person now, compared to the zombie I have been from 2008 till 2012. I am glad I able to enjoy life now. I accept myself as I am, look, weight, personality, successes and failures. I am what I am, period.
And I am proud of being a human being, of being me, of being alive, of all the opportunities I got.
Life is so so good!! :)


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So glad you are on a good path... I am jealous of your ability to learn new languages. I always struggled with foreign language and feel overwhelmed just thining about it!  
22 Jan 13 by member: Lindsay6384
I posted a quote on FB yesterday that makes me think of you today. "We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of something we don't have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have" -Frederick Keonig I am glad to hear you are feeling better and are a happier person. I completely understand what you are saying in your journal too. I really struggled for a few years with things I couldn't control that were happening in my life. It feels so good to be happy and content overall with our life. A moment I am also in and hope to stay in for a while because I sure am enjoying it! :) *Hugs* 
22 Jan 13 by member: iamachristianjesusfreak
...that is the best way to learn a language :). A long time ago I arrived in UK with my 1 year old & I could barely speak, read or understand english. 1 month later my then husband went on a 7 month tour to Belize! & I was on my own. Didn't know anyone. I wondered for some time what I was doing there. Instead of packing my bags & running home again, I got on with it. And the lovely thing was....even when I got words wrong, people were really nice & kind because I was trying. & with time ( & only having english newspaper, books, radio & TV) I really came to terms with the language :). So keep doing what your doing :), the rest will follow! 
23 Jan 13 by member: schmetterling34

     
 

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