just.keep.swimming's Journal, 19 January 2013

Food is so emotional. I need to figure out how to disconnect my feelings from my food. I know it's possible, but it's a habit of a lifetime and it's so hard to break out of it.

It's driving ME crazy to be eating so poorly and I KNOW how horribly it will hurt me. I fought so hard for my health and now I feel like I'm just throwing it away. Yet, I keep caving to stupidity.

It's just all a big muddle and I don't know where to start to crawl back out of it. I know I need to just take it a day at a time, but I don't know what goal to put first or what goal to think of as most important. I don't know what sort of motivators to set up right now.

Add to this the fact that my boyfriend keeps pushing buttons that bring up all sorts of horrible memories and habits. He's amazing and I've never been happier with anyone, but this is going to break us. And I don't know what to do here. If I try to explain to him that what he is saying is a trigger for me, he kind of has the response "have willpower, it's simple."

I need a clean start to develop those good habits again, but I don't know how to do that and still have him. Which is so wrong, since he's really into fitness and healthy food.

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Hey, I feel for you. The general way to give less emotional importance to food is to use other ways to deal with emotions,. Like running, writing, painting, or whatever may help you to get rid of bad or uncomfortable memories. It's not easy at all, but rome wasn't built in a day, right?  
20 Jan 13 by member: Lizzie983
Hey girl..its hard when dealing with things like that..every time he does something to make you run for the food..Stop and tell him your going to smack his face off it he doesn't quit...or at least think of it..and you will smile..cause just thinking of it is funny...I saw Daffy Duck have that happen to him one time when I was watching cartoons with my niece..we both busted out laughing...Hang in there girl you can do it..:O) 
20 Jan 13 by member: BHA
You just need to build new habits... When you get upset and feel that emotional trigger of wanting to go eat journal your feelings and get them out if the way. If it is still bothering you go for a walk and see if it makes you feel any better. You just need to start slowly switch. For example when I get mad I clean. It makes me feel better. Now when I get upset I usually just go for a brisk walk and think about stuff and by the time I am done I feel better. No more desire to want to eat over it. 
20 Jan 13 by member: iamachristianjesusfreak
Go to amazon.com and look up a book called "Becks Diet Solution". Read the reviews. It's about dealing with emotional eating and changing behaviors. A lot of people swear by it. 
20 Jan 13 by member: Suzi161
Thanks for all of the advice. The trigger I'm working on lately is being told I CAN'T eat something. I make dessert and can eat one and leave it at that, planning to send the rest of them home with him. Until he leaves them here and tells me not to touch any of them for the next three days. When I was a kid, mom bought groceries for her and my brothers and I was not allowed to eat them. Then I lived in places where everyone was allowed to eat but me and had an abusive boyfriend who called me fat and judged me if I ate anything. So, it's my kitchen, I bought the food, I live here- when someone tells me I'm not allowed to eat- it's almost compulsive how much I obsess and eat.  
20 Jan 13 by member: just.keep.swimming

     
 

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