redwinelover's Journal, 16 January 2013

Did not work out yesterday, but there is still today! And Lord do I need to work out today. My husband suggested he pick up pizza yesterday on his way home. Well... figured I haven't had pizza in forever and just didn't feel like making dinner anyway, so I caved. Good Lord I was thirsty after all that pizza! I drank three 20oz bottles of water - all after about 7:30 last night. I'd forgotten how much sodium must be in those things. Anyway, surprisingly I don't feel huge today. (still won't weigh myself)

Been on a roller coaster emotionally. Today is a good one, though. I've been taking daily pictures of this little "test" area on my chest my doctor did trying to correct some hypopigmentation from my laser resurfacing done in July. Since the hypopigmentation can take 2 - 6 months to show up, all I can really do is hurry up and wait. I'm not good at that. Anyway, I took my daily picture of the area first thing in the morning yesterday, took a look and my spirits soared! I saw a white rectangular square! (we will attempt to even out skin tone by lightening all the surrounding areas of hypopigmentation) I took another and then looked and excitedly texted my doc with a picture and my hopes this treatment might actually work. He texted back - looks great, let's keep our fingers crossed. Somehow that knocked the wind out of my sails. I don't know - guess I expected more hooplah than that.

Later on, I was comparing pictures from then to those taken right after the latest procedure (test area) and realized... omg... what I thought was the white area is really the area just BELOW the treatment area! damn, damn, damn! So I went from really high, to a bit of being brought back to earth, to close to the depths of despair. Now I realize there are far, far worse things that can happen - it's not cancer, it's not family, it's not anything other than SKIN. But still - you do a procedure fully expecting to improve the appearance of a lifetime of too much sun and hard living... and end up resembling a healed burn victim, instead. For someone with as much vanity as I have (not proud of it - it just IS), this is a tough one. And to know I've done this to myself out of my own vanity. So anyway... that, coupled with all the other crap going on in our lives - well... let's just say my emotions have been ALL over the place. If I lived in the north pole or somewhere like that, it wouldn't be as devastating. But here in AZ? When 9 months out of the year it's generally tank top weather? Makes it hard to cover up.

So, enough about me and my petty crap. Today is a new day and I'm feeling much more positive. And I'm going to try using fresh ginger on my skin discoloration areas - found that Chinese remedy online yesterday. Some woman supposedly had hypopigmentation for 17 years, was told to try the ginger once or twice a day on the affected areas, and after six months the discoloration was almost gone. It looked as though her pigment had mostly returned to the areas. So what the hell, right? I'm gonna try it. It's FOOD. God made it. It can't hurt and there's a chance it could actually help. Six months is a long time, but I've been dealing with this for about four months now already anyway. So I'm choosing today to be positive. I will work out. Probably Jillian's butt and thigh one since those are the areas most in need of work! lol And I will make a super salad today - maybe twice! And I will remain positive. Stay well, my friends. :D

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Hey sweetie..I can understand the waiting...its the hardest thing to do..I do not have the problem of being too hot..I even wear a light weight jacket in the summer..I have pee for blood..and am cold all the time..I have had every thing checked like my thyroid and all is normal..Just a cold person...Hope that ginger does the trick..Hugs..my friend..:O) 
16 Jan 13 by member: BHA
D, I am so sorry that you are having to deal with all this. It's amazing the damage we can do to our skin without even realizing we are doing it. I sure hope the treatments work, as well as the ginger. You just never know and it sure won't hurt. I hope you are having a wonderful week this week, and that things are a bit better. You know where I am if you need to vent. Love you so much my sweet friend! Hang in there...this IS going to be our year! HUGS!!!!! xxoo 
22 Jan 13 by member: ctlss
lol... Bren.. I can't even take the idea of a shirt with sleeves here in the summer! A light jacket? oh Lord... nope. I'm sure I run hot, but if I see someone with a jacket...no, wait... even a long sleeve top on in the summer? I think they're nuts or hiding something worse than sweating! lol. Thanks for the hugs - you surely must know how much I need and appreciate them! Love you, my friend!  
23 Jan 13 by member: redwinelover
dear, dear Stef... I love you, woman! Well, I go in for another test area on Thursday. This one is just IPL, I think. And no significant harm can come of this, I'm sure. The only downside is it may LOOK like it's helped, but with ANY sun exposure whatsoever, anything that may have looked better will return. :( But at this point I just want to see something other than damaged skin! Still gonna try the ginger. I'm only doing one half of my chest for comparison. Of course, nothing to report on that end yet. Thanks for always being there for me - thru thick and thin. And I'm gonna hold you to it that this will be our year! Thanks for the hugs!  
23 Jan 13 by member: redwinelover

     
 

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