kingkeld's Journal, 11 January 2013

Good morning.

Up in weight again?!? Geez.

I was about to write a MASSIVE rant about this. I better not. Let's try instead to turn the boat around and make this a positive journal.

Yesterday, I did NOT have any kind of significant amount of cake. I stayed within RDI, but did have a little bit. It drove me crazy all the rest of the day.

I over indulged on fat free ice cream. Within RDI, though I think I might not have registered all of it. I know I didn't go over.

Still, I think a 600 gram gain is a bit much of a punishment.

When I saw the scale this morning, I honestly thought "f**k it, I'm done. No more.". Of course, afterwards, I know this is not the route to go.

Instead I need to focus. I need to do better.

Re-assessing my actions the last week, I see that I have gone way too far into desserts, low fat or not, and I think it's a slippery slide for me. I also had the day where I bought candies, the ones I ended up throwing the majority of away.

On the plus side, I have started the gym. I've been there a total of 90 minutes, so my gain is OBVIOUSLY not me building muscle.

I do see several things in this.

The two obvious ones are:

1. DO NOT EAT THE DAMN TREATS! lol. Duh.


We were watching a movie yesterday, and in the movie is an alcoholic, recovering, and in AA. It really made me think of addictions, and it made me very aware that I have one. It's not alcohol, but it's sweets. I just can't say no to the damn things. I really need to work on this.

So, I think I need to go cold turkey on it. It'll be hard. Very hard. But it'll be necessary.

So here we go. No more candy. No more cake. No more sugar desserts. Ever. Period.

Man, I hope I'm strong enough to do this. I probably am not - I really like the damn things - but they're destroying my whole mission.

So, just like AA - one treat, one meal, one day at a time.

2. Starting in the gym, doing 30 minutes there, and having recovery days inbetween, makes me burn LESS calories than my previous exercise.


I know! This is REALLY counter intuitive.

I was thinking about it this morning, as Wife mentioned that I do plenty of exercise since I now go to the gym.

Well, fact is that I am only there 30 minutes, and even if it is high impact (or is it? I don't really know), then it's no calories burned compared to what I have been doing before.

Than being said, I'm more focused on getting my 10,000 steps in daily, and most days I accomplish at least 8,000. I manage to reach 10,000 a few days a week, usually.

...

I really feel at a wit's end today. I feel that it's pretty much impossible to reach my goal. I feel that I have accomplished absolutely NOTHING working so hard for months - and sadly, I have the numbers to back that up. :/

So, I guess I better man up and do better.

...

On a side note, I am changing to another calorie counter. It's not about FatSecret, because the counter there is brillian, but it's about my weight loss coach business.

There is a great Danish website much like FatSecret. It's in Danish, and it has all the Danish foods. This is the one I tell my clients to use, and it works just as well.

The thing is that it's hard to "sell" the idea to people when I don't use it myself. It's hard to give support on the use of the website when I don't use it myself.

So I have decided that I need to go there and register my food. I'm not sure if that is a good idea or not, when it comes to me losing weight - it's a different system that I need to get used to. But I do think it's necessary for me to do, if I wanna sell the product, so to say.

For a moment I was debating if I should simply do double accounting, but I know myself well enough to know that this will be a half hearted affair both places, and it will make the numbers useless.

There are some clear advantages to the other site, and there are some clear disadvantages. I with I could mix and match.

...

One thing that is NOT as good on madlog.dk (feel free to check it out!) is the community. You guys simply rock! Just the fact that you have been reading all this makes you amazing!

So there is NO chance that I will let that go. I will weigh in both places, and I will still write my journal here on FatSecret. Hell, I'll probably end up back with with the whole thing, registering meals and what have you.

...

I slept so bad last night. My cold/allergies/whatever-it-is are STILL bugging me. I take some allergy pills and it usually helps. But today I have a runny nose, and I'm all stuffed up, and I am really dreading the gym. It's not gonne keep me from going though. On top of that, it has kept me awake since midnight. Booo! Wife and I go to bed early as we get up early, so I did manage to get about three hours of sleep before I woke up, and since I decided to at least try to sleep, I'm estimating that I got one, maybe two more later in the morning. It's nowhere near enough though.

So today, I am tired, I'm b**tchy, annoyed that I have to take a damn class all day (with junk sandwhiches for lunch - and I don't have any food to take to substitute it other than a really crummy soup powder, to that'll have to be my lunch), and my massive annoyance over the weight gain.

This crap has to stop.

Today, I am thankful for:
- Actually writing this journal. Letting off some of the steam has helped. I'm seriously impressed with you, if you read through the whole thing. :)
- Almost weekend.
- A work day with a different agenda. That's always nice.
- being stubborn enough to go to the gym even if I feel like crap.
- Seeing that I need to treat this as an addiction. I hope I can do that on a more serious basis.

Man, I'm sleepy.

Have a great Friday, Fatsecret. Life is good, no matter what. :)

205.9 lb Lost so far: 135.8 lb.    Still to go: 18.5 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.

Diet Calendar Entries for 11 January 2013:
1001 kcal Fat: 30.93g | Prot: 67.65g | Carb: 112.87g.   Breakfast: Egg, Rye Bread, Sliced Ham (Extra Lean). Lunch: Whole Wheat Bread, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Bacon, Chicken Breast. more...
3334 kcal Activities & Exercise: Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Sitting - 8 hours and 30 minutes, Desk Work - 5 hours and 30 minutes, Standing - 1 hour, Circuit Training - 30 minutes. more...
on diet kingkeld's own diet  

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Comments 
sorry you are having such a hard time. I know you will get through it, you always do. Glad to hear you will continue to journal here. I look forward to reading them, not to mention how much we would miss your help and encouragement. Giving up sugar is so hard for some of us. I hope you make it. :) 
10 Jan 13 by member: teskandar
I really feel for you, it's so hard when you think you're doing OK and the scale says otherwise. I also keep a note of my measurements and over the long-term that can be more encouraging, especially as they don't change in correspondence with the weight fluctuations. Any new or different exercise routine is likely to have an effect on your metabolism that will cause fluctuations until you get used to it - remember that if our odies feel threatened they try to hold on to waht they've got, just in case. My only advice is that maybe you should try to assess your success or failure on a longer-term basis rather than reacting daily - much easier said than done, I know. Chin up, you've been consistently below 80 before and you'll be there again. I think your present mindset probably has a lot to do with the feelings of achievement you had when you reached your surgery target and had the surgery done. It's very hard to be mentally strong enough to continue when you know you've already reached your goal, mentally you're hoping for some let-up now the hard work should be over. although I'm not sure that totally depriving yourself of sugar is the right way to go, I do think the AA analogy is a good one in that the weight battle has to be fought one day (one meal or snack) at a time. Have a great (sugar-free) day :)  
11 Jan 13 by member: Earthlady
"I really feel at a wit's end today. I feel that it's pretty much impossible to reach my goal. I feel that I have accomplished absolutely NOTHING working so hard for months - and sadly, I have the numbers to back that up. :/" You know we've ALL been to this point. Sometimes several times. Yeah, your numbers might back it up, but you did this SOOOOOO long before, if you give in, I'm flying across the pond and kicking your butt! Seriously, you have worked far too hard to just throw in the towel, and if I know one thing about you, you're stubborn about your process and doing what you need to do. Ok, determined might be a better word. Either way, dig your heels in dammit, and fight the good fight. You also have to remember that your body is changing since your losses AND your surgery, so it's not necessarily going to respond the same way as it did before. You know that exercise is key. If you can't get enough of it at the gym, you have the means to get it, at home, walking, standing. If there's one thing I am certain of--YOU GOT THIS. Don't totally give up the sugar. You do that and you'll bounce back worse. Give up the treats AT NIGHT. And maybe increase water to flush out the sugars? One thing I also learned doing Atkins was to eat bigger earlier, and taper the intake off progressively thru the day, eating smaller portions closer to bed. Also, add more protein and greens and less carbs at dinner time. If you're drinking sodas, give them up. Empty calories, even the diet ones are bad for you regardless of being caloric or not. You CAN do this, we all know it, and we also know that if anyone can, YOU WILL. You've been our inspiration for SO LONG. We'll just have to start to re-inspire YOU. Love ya, man!! Keep the faith!!! 
11 Jan 13 by member: ZippyDani
Hi Keld. Maybe you need to read through some of your old journals! How did you manage to get here? Not by giving up!! You are strong & you of all know it. I get the feeling that you sleep badly when you snack before bed. All that sugar or the chemicals in the sugar-free stuff will send your body into overdrive & not let it rest. & if you don't sleep, you get ratty & crave more rubbish. So look after yourself & be kind to you! 
11 Jan 13 by member: schmetterling34
Have you given up the Paul McKenna videos? May be worth a shot or the pudding / candy cravings.... What can you loose? Maybe the medication you are taking for your flu, is having an effect on your body.... Stick with it, I bet it will suddenly come off. I think you are right to stay away from the candy / sweet stuff - dare I say it - even the low fat ice cream. By eating them, you are not changing your taste buds.... I find if i abstain from something I love EVENTUALLY I'm not that bothered about it. Unless, of course i eat it 'just because', i then re -awaken the desire. Chin up, you can do it 
11 Jan 13 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
I would suggest a bit of detective work! Heck, our memories are not what they used to be as we get older...or when we've been in this journey for a LONG time. Time seems to begin to blend ... and we 'think' - 'I used to be able to have ... fill in the blank ... and I was losing back then!' I challenge you to go back to the Indulgence Plan - look thru some of your old menu's - read some of your old journals - and look for some of the discrepancies from then to now. Where have some of the 'creeper mentalities' come from - food wise on a regular basis?? You were always so diligent to maintain your plan and plan ahead for the Indulgence day... then right back to plan. Are you doing that now? And if so, great! If not, why not? - Last but not least, exercise does cause your system to retain water weight to carry the fuel to the muscles (very untechnical explaination!) You have every right to vent your frustration...but I am so glad you are the determined man you are...cause I know you will hang in there until you figure this out. We love you!!!! And we're all here for you! 
11 Jan 13 by member: jsfantome
You have a lot to be proud of! 135 pounds less than when you started this journey. 200 pounds or less for the last 15 months. Exercising on a regular basis. Fully recovered from surgery. You are healthier and fitter. Life is better than good - IT IS GREAT! 
11 Jan 13 by member: Tmcaporale
put those cookies on someone elses table.cheer up.listen to some rock and let it all go. 
11 Jan 13 by member: rockytu
I think we all have felt this at some point. Its tough. Don't give up - not even for a day! Lots of good advice above... I just want to mention on the calories burned comments. Strength trainign doesn't burn a lot of calories at all, but building the muscle will help you burn calories more during everything else. So I'd try not to dwell on that aspect of it. And suggest maybe a mix of the strength and your biking so you can metnally clock your calorie burn from cardio every once in a while!  
11 Jan 13 by member: Bkeller1023
Hard to imagine sometimes that English is not your native language, KP. You're so fluent. Hope the other calorie counter works for you especially with the default foods. I have a couple thoughts. When you first start strength training, your muscles do retain some water. So it may not be muscle gain, but it may be water. So glad you've started and that you're enjoying it. Second, walking is a perfect off day exercise, so I'm glad about your 10000 steps. I've gone back to the treadmill too. I think it's a good plan. Third, never give up. I know you know that, but il just say it anyway.  
11 Jan 13 by member: Helewis
Hang in there Keld ... pay attention ... make sure you aren't missing calories or underestimating. Put on your detective hat and indeed you'll figure it out. Sweets are strange things for me too ... sometimes I can have just a little ... but most of the time once I start I want to continue ... whether it's low-fat/low-calorie or not I will eat too much ... maybe a hiatus for a while ... focus on other "treats" (fruits? veggies?) and you will turn this thing around!!! HUGS!! 
11 Jan 13 by member: madaboutmoose
I had a hard time with sweets until I decided on just one - dark chocolate - after dinner - 1, 1 1/2 maybe 2 servings if I am desperate. I buy the best I can find without soy lecithin and with bits of salt and or nuts. I have it to look forward to and it seems to help knowing it is there, good for me and SWEET!  
11 Jan 13 by member: Neptunebch
I think its fantastic that you channel your frustration into posts like this where you can still vent your disappointment but also focus on constructive steps to combat it and make yourself look at the positives - its so inspiring and impressive. I hope your day started looking up. 
11 Jan 13 by member: phibs
The main measurement I use now is waist measurement. I've given up the scale because I get so beat up with the up and down and stagnation of it. So I use myfitnesspal for that alone since it tracks it. I'm not interested in the community there as it seems really immature with the 20 threads on rate my body and am I sexy nonsense. But they are useful for tracking body measurements...hint hint Fatsecret. Instead of 'I can't' have something, some people say 'I don't' have something. Like I don't eat Twinkies because I ain't HoneyBooBoo. I'm attempting this with drive-thru windows, a very American problem. For example I say to myself, I'm not HoneyBooBoo I don't get food from windows. Just started this, so I'll have to report back later as to whether it worked :D 
12 Jan 13 by member: Cthulhu
Keld, while I definitely sensed your ire while writing... I started laughing at the second or third 'if you're still reading' comment ~ reminded me of the 'can you hear me now' cell phone commercials we have :-) Yes, we're still here.. we hear you ... keep venting and get that out of your system :-) 
13 Jan 13 by member: FullaBella

     
 

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