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Sometimes I sit and wonder, WHY is this so hard. I know what to do, I've been doing it, it should be easy right? No, It's not easy. Sometimes I get so frustrated with myself and I just think I'm going to say..forget it! It's not worth it, it's taking WAY to long to even notice a difference at all! I've lost 30 lbs and you would think I would feel something besides my shirt feeling a little loser (which I only noticed the first few weeks and nothing since). Weeks have been going by and still I look in the mirror and see very little change. It frustrates me to no end!
So today I had a talk with myself...yes, I'm a bit crazy, I know this ;) but I know this is my last shot at this and I'm not ready to quit or give up, not even a little bit! I'm going to stop my whining and move on... TRY try try (as Pink puts it) I think it's this week of audit (even though I enjoy it more because it's quiet) It's not what I'm used too. It's a huge change for me to work over night and sleep in the day. I miss my husband at night and I miss kissing my 8 yr old good night. It's just hard. This will be my third night and I have two more to go. This has been a bitter/sweet thing for me. I love it but yet I'm...I guess lonely is the word.
I'm going to put my best foot forward and I'm going to get through this slump like i have gotten through the last 8 weeks. My kids need me to be strong! I want to be there for them as long as I can! Especially when my little guy is only 8, I will NOT leave him without a mother. It would be selfish of me to give up. There are so many in this world who don't have any choice, who may be dying of cancer. I have a choice to better myself, I need to take advantage of that. Tonight will be another start of another GREAT 8 weeks! :D Weigh in is Sat and I'm positive I will have yet another loss to speak of!
I'm glad I had this little chat with myself because I was about to say "not now" I'm not ready. BUT I'm already in full swing and WHY would I just throw away 8 weeks that I REALLY worked my butt off for, just to "start again later".
One VERY good thing, still no soda :D I've controlled it at work (not like I even have to say that it's "controlled" anymore) I think I'm honestly over that part of my struggle and I thought that would be the toughest thing I would have to overcome. I really don't have to fight anymore to say no to that. It's the salty snacks that I want, those chips/salty snacks make me fight every day for what I want...every SINGLE day. I don't see THAT ever going away...at least not in the near future :( I just have to keep fighting. I'm going to win this one!
Diet Calendar Entry for 10 January 2013:
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1483 kcal
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Fat: 41.59g | Prot: 98.54g | Carb: 176.46g.
Breakfast: Skim Milk Kemps, cheerios peanut butter. Lunch: newmans own marinara, Subway Chicken on Flatbread. Dinner: mayo, Onions, Hickory smoked turkey breast, sandwich thins. Snacks/Other: slim fast bar, kemps skim milk, free range egg, del monte fresh cut french style green beans, cottage cheese. more...
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