DairyFarmersWife's Journal, 10 January 2013

FAIL I'm going to get a big ol fat marker out and write fail on my butt. I wonder if that would be motivating. Instead of the Juicy or Sexy or whatever else they've thought to write on the butts of yoga pants.. mine will say compulsive chocolate eater. The font will be smaller.. maybe no one will notice.

I think my brain has a short in it somewhere and instead messages are being sent from my butt to my hand. Yesterday I was up at midnight because little man decided to only sleep in 2 hour intervals, wasn't even thinking, grabbed a no bake cookie from the counter and ate it. I realized what I did on the first bite but what am I going to do? Spit it out? Not eat the rest? At midnight? Pffft. I'm lucky I didn't drop it on the floor. I probably would have fought the dog for it at that point.

Today.. FAIL. AGAIN. Ok this one is more on purpose. After having the little man's old daycare call and threaten to take me to collections for an amount I know I don't owe that mysteriously came up 2 months after he left? Really? Having tenants back home that can't pay rent. Having work files that won't print correctly. Rehashing thoughts about hubby from last night. Meetings upon meetings.. not packing enough food. Starving all day long and refusing to go to the cafeteria because my other resolution is to pay off debt. I finally caved and bought a butterfinger from the candy basket. Screw it! I'm not positive but I think I chewed.. maybe I just inhaled. Who knows at this point. Now I want another one.. or two. I'm eyeballing the candy dish on the desk across the hall. Is it rude to go to someone's desk, say hi, then fill your pockets with their candy bowl?

I'm going to be good. I will not inhale any more candy. I will not say crap I screwed up so lets go on the sugar binge. I will not eat the rest of the no-bake cookies when I get home. Tomorrow.. I will try again until I can get it right. Eventually I'm going to behave. Eventually I figure I'll just pass out on my keyboard and I can't eat if I'm passed out.
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Good luck, I think we all feel the same way. I tell my friend is you slip, just get back on track, don't keep it going all day, so you had the butterfinger, let it go and try not to have another. And I say try, cause it is not easy, but keep going. Also I agree, whats up with that juicy and pink on the butts....... 
10 Jan 13 by member: sbianco173
Chickie.... I think all this extra work is killing you. As for lil man, not much you can do about that right now but getting there, YUCK! I know you have alot of your plate (boy do I know!) but you are going to have to find a way to slow down. Baby steps... like first I said exercise twice a week and get the cals and sugar down. Don't worry so much about low carb but keep them clean as much as you can. Am I there? Almost but I am still eating a hershey kiss a couple of times and drinking wine. Do what you can do, next time call me and I WILL BRING YOU LUNCH IF I HAVE TO!!! I have to go to a retirement party tomorrow night but if you find some time (even with the kids) let try and get together before eiother of us implode! 
10 Jan 13 by member: thynes
Thynes - We will have to plan a get together. I'm not sure if I'm heading straight home or if hubby is picking up little man on the way to the city tomorrow. I may need to disappear sometime over the weekend though! :) Hubby has already started his it isn't going to snow so lets do _____ list. It's everything he should have done before the snow hit. Ugh. As for lunches. I can't tell if I'm being mental or not eating enough. I'll have to go through everything tomorrow and see where I'm screwing up. I keep trying to stay around 1500 cal but feel like I'm starving and then I cheat. Or maybe it's not adding enough snacks or maybe I'm just mental. Do I make sense anymore? When I stop making sense just pick up a straight jacket. 
10 Jan 13 by member: DairyFarmersWife
Oh hell we hit stright jacket level a looooong time ago! tonight I'll be around text or call if you need you know that. As for the weekend Maddie has dance sat am and the boys will be at the SU game. Sunday is church but I think that is it. Things slow down after this weekend a bit... A tiny bit but a bit. Need your helthy snackie again, simple as that babe. You know what to do we have both just forgotten in our haze of insanity~! 
10 Jan 13 by member: thynes
I hope things get better! When I'm tired I find that I eat a lot more, especially sugar. Stress doesn't help and it sounds like you have plenty of that going on. The thing that helps me not be so hungry during the day is to eat small things throughout the day. I'll have a decent breakfast, then maybe a 100 cal or so snack, then lunch for around 200 cals, then maybe another snack around 100 cals or so, then dinner after work, that's what keeps me from raiding the candy at work (most of the time). When I don't stick to that plan I'm hungry all day. So, maybe pack some small, easy snacks to munch on during the day, or spread your lunch out throughout the afternoon so your not eating all at once. I'll bring soup and a sandwich for lunch and eat one at lunch time, just so my tummy is happy, then I'll eat the other later. You'll find something that works, I just hope something reduces the stress you have going on soon! 
10 Jan 13 by member: mars2kids
Once you get going with the candy it taunts you all day! That's the worst. I hope you made it to bed resisting and can start fresh today! We all fail and it gets easier to give up when tired. Hopefully you can catch up on some sleep this weekend and that helps with the stress! 
11 Jan 13 by member: Bkeller1023

     
 

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