redwinelover's Journal, 09 January 2013

Hello Fat Secret and a whole new year! Somehow over the last several months - probably 6 or so, I've gotten out of the habit of exercising. I've also noticed I have less energy and more mood swings - hmmmm... coincidence?? lol

This year, once again, I'm opting for HEALTH. I haven't weighed in - that will wait a week or so. May seem silly to some, but the number would only serve to bring me down at this moment and possibly take away this fleeting sense of motivation I'm experiencing. I also know it can't be too bad... probably in the low 130's. All but two pair of jeans fit and the way I wear them, I don't leave a lot of room for weight gain... on purpose. Like - I can't let myself sit around in sweat pants or yoga pants because my theory is I will "grow into" whatever I'm wearing! Like the commercial says - "It's only weird if it doesn't work"!

As much as I want to firm up, drop those estimated 8- 10 lbs, I really want to focus on the health aspect. I know the weight loss will come naturally when I choose to eat healthy foods and exercise regularly.

The past year has been difficult. Really, really difficult. My daughter has many, many issues - legal, emotional, mental and physical that are making all of our lives hell. It's very difficult to help someone who doesn't want your help. Or only wants it on rare occasions. I won't even begin to touch on all the things that have occurred over the last year where my daughter is concerned. Suffice it to say, it has been (and will continue to be) an enormous challenge, with a difficult road ahead.

My son officially moved to Alabama to begin his career in the space field. For the most part (including his internship), he moved last June. This has been very difficult to deal with, as well. I'm so very, very happy for him, but that's a long way from home and I miss him dearly. Many of his friends still come to visit me and I am thankful for that. They're some great people.

My husband is overworked and it doesn't seem to ever get better. I worry about his health working so hard.

I had a CO2 laser procedure done in July that has left me with a lot of discoloration and what appears to be stretch marks and/or scarring! On my upper arms, chest and breast on the area treated (which comes damn close to the nipple area!) A dermatologist confirmed it may be hypopigmentation and the best case scenario is to lighten all the skin around these areas as much as possible to achieve a bit of blending. I know it's vanity, but this issue has really thrown me into a funk. The only positive is my doctor will give me treatments to try to correct this at his own expense. For the record - I do NOT recommend CO2 off the face. Maybe this is a rare issue, but so not worth the risk. Hindsight.... sigh....

I have two friends here that are somewhat close to my age (well, older, but the rest of the people I speak to regularly are in their 20's!), sisters. I love them both - they are my sanity. Found out two days ago that one is taking a consulting job across the country for a min. of three months. She'll come home once a month, but sure she'll have things to take care of and spend time with her hubby. Her sister, who I've come to love, is going back to Arkansas to close up her house and sell it and isn't expecting to return until the end of June. :( So I think I need to take a couple of classes or something. Getting back to journaling will help, getting back to a regular exercise routine will also help, but I need to do something outside of home and find a way to meet people. I'm considering a nutrition class and a yoga class - both would strengthen my commitment to health, anyway. :D

So as I said, it's been a year of changes. I need to change with them. Here's to 2013... let's hope and pray it is a better year than '12.

...later... I did it! I did a workout. Okay...not exactly the entire thing, but I worked out for almost a half hour. Not bad considering. :D Here we go!


Girl 2013 has to be a better year for me too...I am looking forward to not green horning my far so good...but its only the 9th of January..Like you I had to start over and get back to business on my weight and exercise...Its hard when you want to help and its not wanted or needed...I know your are sooo proud of your son and who wouldn't be..You did good raising him and thats why he is where he is today...I see a vacation in your future...:O...I think its a good idea for you to get out of the house if only for a few hours a week...I know it helps me just going to the P.O. daily..My DH works all the time too...he doesn't know the meaning of the words Have Fun..LOL...Nothing like family no matter how young they...I have two sisters younger and one helps to be able to talk to them if only by phone or internet...Well I didn't think I was going to write a novel...Just wanted you to know I'm here for ya girl...Love and Hugs...:O)  
09 Jan 13 by member: BHA
Thanks, Bren. I know I can count on you. :D 
09 Jan 13 by member: redwinelover
Oh, D, I was just cruising around and wasn't going to comment on any journals until tomorrow, then I saw your entry. I know how difficult the last year has been for you! I wish I could come through here and give you a great big hug (I am such a pastor told me not long ago "We weren't really a hugging type church, until you came along. Now everybody hugs everybody!" LOL). I KNOW that 2013 is going to be much, much better for you. All these things with the girl will work out. Hang in there, and know that I am still praying for all of you. I sure understand how you feel about your son...mine is only 3 hours away and it feels like he is at the other end of the world. I am here if you need me...I love you my friend!! Great job on that workout!!! HUGS!! And PS...if you need a break, come to Missouri!!! 
09 Jan 13 by member: ctlss
Ah, Stef... thanks so much! You're always there for me, too, and this means so much. I hope your right about this year! And girl....gotta be careful with extending those invitations - you might just end up with an unexpected guest! lol I could use one of your great big hugs, that's for sure. And good for your church that you came along and turned everyone into huggers! :D Nothing touches the spirit quite as quickly as the human touch. Love you, too, Stef!  
09 Jan 13 by member: redwinelover
Love you, D! Hope today is awesome! 
10 Jan 13 by member: ctlss


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