jsfantome's Journal, 30 December 2012

Hey Ya'll - I know...thought I fell off the planet, huh? Me too!!! You can run, but you can't hide from weight gain. Or depression. Or grieving.

I am - without a doubt - a no excuses kinda person. So, rather than come here day in and day out, with no explanation of why I'd given up on myself... I just did... I stopped coming.

BIG MISTAKE!

I stopped weighing in... BIG MISTAKE.

I stopped caring... BIG MISTAKE.

I lingered in my own pity party until now... I don't even want to weigh in. But tomorrow morning will be my turning point. Can't be real without real information!!!

Going back on Atkins - low carb eating made me feel the best overall physically, and mentally. It's a rough road for the first few days, but I will stick it out.

I have some changes I need to make around here... more mentally than anything. This is the year I choose to make me the priority I have always deserved to be. And if life is kind...the rest of those who live around me, and profess to love me... will love me more when I learn to love myself. And if they are too stubborn, or selfish, or focused in their own little worlds to recognize this is long OVERDUE... then they will learn to make some changes without me.

This is my life, too! And I have sacrificed the last 25 years (or longer really) to being a mother, a wife, a friend... to everyone but me. It's time. Time to make friends with myself. And learn to enjoy this life I have.

It's no longer about vanity. Or jean sizes. Or looking sexy for hubby, or any of that crap!

It's about feeling good in my own skin. Being proud of me. Energetic, lively, intentional...special... just because I am!

Hope you are all doing well. Sorry to have been gone so long...will try to catch up!

Much Love to you All - Paula

Diet Calendar Entry for 30 December 2012:
1038 kcal Fat: 68.61g | Prot: 77.19g | Carb: 27.52g.   Breakfast: bacon (9AM), coffee (8oz) black, water (6-10 AM), eggland's best eggs , hidden carbs. Lunch: cheddar cheese stick. Dinner: feta cheese, cucumber, green pepper, feta cheese, Romaine, red bell pepper, chicken drumstick, yellow squash, marie's blue cheese. Snacks/Other: celery, water , water , roasted almonds. more...
on diet jsfantome's own diet  

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Comments 
Good for you Paula.... You are DEFINATELY right... We must love ourselves and put aside time for ourselves... All this ALWAYS putting other people first, just makes them expect it - not appreciate it. As for loosing weight and dressing to please someone else - b****r that... It has to be done to please yourself. Good luck with your weigh in..... Whatever the result is, your right, you need to do it, to give yourself a focus.... Maybe even look at your goal weight... Is it too low for the moment? Only you can judge that. Xx 
30 Dec 12 by member: Sk1nnyfuture
Always god to see a buddy back! It is truly a ongoing journey with many twists and turns. I've struggled these past couple years but am not giving up on myself. I'm worth it! 
30 Dec 12 by member: madaboutmoose
Welcome back, Paula. We're all pretty much in the same boat (except Pam who's still blue...LOL! And Diane). But I'm right there with you, looking forward to the new year and changes. So happy you're back with us.  
30 Dec 12 by member: Helewis
thanks for the love and support... I will need it! Then I will return the favor, I promise!!! 
30 Dec 12 by member: jsfantome
Welcome back Paula - I am one of the stray cats as well, neglecting myself for a long time with the obvious result. I can feel your pain to hit the scale again but it needs to be done. Without it no fresh start. So, let's go again, we can do it :-)  
30 Dec 12 by member: Jozette99
Hi Paula and welcome back! There's an Induction Challenge starting on the 2nd that last two weeks - might help you get on track and stay there. I've done a challenge with this group before and I can personally vouch for the wonderful group of people involved in it. 
30 Dec 12 by member: atriel2
Hi Paula. - thank you for accepting my buddy request. I really enjoyed your Journal on The Diet Wars and agree with your philosophy today - it's not about vanity or Jean size - it's about feeling good. And proud. Whatever happens to our bodies will happen - it's important to be kind to ourselves by treating ourselves good with the right nourishment and activity.  
30 Dec 12 by member: FullaBella
Hey girl..so glad your back..have missed you too...and yes you have to take care of you now..its your time..you are sooo worth the effort..Lets make 2013 our year...:O) 
30 Dec 12 by member: BHA
Great journal! Best of luck with your weigh in - hope it was better than mine.  
31 Dec 12 by member: BuffyBear

     
 

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