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I went to work out at my new gym today and it was so beautiful. The equipment is literally BRAND NEW. The whole place has that "new car smell". The drinking fountains have sensors in there that will fill your water bottle automatically, and they have a readout in each fountain that says "this fountain has kept 35 plastic bottles out of the landfill". The fountains I used literally had 35 on them. Six months from now, it may be in the thousands. I ran 4 miles, I'm still a little reluctant to run on the indoor track. I just love the ADHD of a treadmill. You get feedback every single second of how fast you're running, how many calories you've burned, how far you have come and how far you have left to go. I will miss that running on a track, but I can't run more than an hour on the treadmill because the limit is 60 minutes, and it is taking me 58 minutes to run 4 miles. I never thought I would ever in my life have this problem! On my drive home, I was thinking about all the overweight people in my life who eat poorly and don't exercise. My two best friends, my cousins, my co-workers, acquaintances, my mother, my little cousins who are all younger that 15, all of them. Here I am wanting to be a weight loss therapist eventually, and I don't even have an effect on the people around me. No one that is close to me has changed their habits just one little bit. After Thanksgiving dinner, I tried to organize a walk and my crew walked 3 blocks with me and turned back, while I walked on for 3 miles. I have tried to get my mother to do water aerobics, but she never will. My cousin put all this pressure on me to run a 5K, and then pooped out on it at the last minute, and she has all "yeah, yeah, yeah"-ed me about training for a 10K in May 2013, but she's not doing anything. And all these people in my life are eating terribly. It's depressing sometimes. I don't think the people in my life are trying to sabotage me at all. And they all struggle, and I can't present myself as some guru, because right now I am struggling, too. I feel I can't turn to them for support, because it makes them feel guilty. So all I have right now is Fat Secret. One of my good friends is always supportive about food, but she's 4'9" and weighs 76 pounds! She tries to be empathetic, but she has never had a problem with food in her life. I have one cousin who is a long distance runner, I think she even has done a marathon. She's kind of supportive of my running, but she and I have major issues due to her rather invasive perspective on my potential Christianity. (That's all I have to say about that). At any rate, even almost a year into this journey, I am feeling like I am fighting this battle by myself, with no one but Fat Secret to back me up, and of course my doctor. My mother even asked me if I have gained any weight back. I feel she is anxiously perched on the sideline, waiting for me to fail. I try not to be dismal or too pissed off about this. It's just hard sometimes. I don't know what the answer is - Overeaters Anonymous? I've done that a couple of times. I did not like it. I don't care for the Big Book and I don't care for the steps. I also don't like the rigidity of having a "sponsor". As if one person has total authority over what you eat and drink, and you are "accountable" to that person. And whoever else in OA that you talk to. I just don't think it's an effective model. Most of the people I know who are tackling their food issues are pretty independent thinkers. We need support, not to answer to some format like misguided little children. That's my opinion, anyway.
Diet Calendar Entries for 10 December 2012:
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1350 kcal
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Fat: 52.64g | Prot: 60.42g | Carb: 190.08g.
Breakfast: Oikos plain greek yogurt, Great Value frozen sliced strawberries. Lunch: Gala apples, Kraft Light Mayonnaise, Sara Lee Delightful 100% Whole Wheat Bread, Oscar Mayer turkey bacon, romaine lettuce, tomato. Dinner: beef chuck roast, baby carrots, red potato, broccoli. Snacks/Other: baby carrots, Sabra hummus, no sugar added fudgesicle, Hunt's sugar free chocolate pudding. more...
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3183 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (slow) - 2/mph - 35 minutes, Running (jogging) - 5/mph - 58 minutes, Conditioning exercise (health club) - 15 minutes, Exercise machine (fast) - 28 minutes, Driving - 2 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 7 hours and 44 minutes, Desk Work - 4 hours. more...
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