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I am not having the best day. I misunderstood an email and thought someone was upset when they weren't. I found out my best friend online is taking a job that requires her to be away three weeks at a time. I should be happy for her good luck at getting employment but instead I am selfishly feeling sorry for myself because I won't be able to post to her twice a day like I am used to doing and I am worried about whether she will be able to find Atkins friendly food on her job. I was reading today about how when we ask for the divine plan for our life to unfold that often a lot of change happens fast. This may be one of my fast changes and I'm not handling it very well. I'm really going to miss my friend. I rely on her so much and I so look forward to hearing from her every day. Some days it is the highlight of my day. Now I will have to develop new friendships and new habits and it is uncomfortable and scary. It is scary because I never had friendships as a child so I still bumble my way through them and it is uncomfortable because I have to become vulnerable all over again with new people. I hope I will still remain close to my friend who is taking the new job. She has been so important to my life and to my recovery. I wish her the very best and in spite of my selfish thoughts and worries I am happy for her good fortune. I did not handle my food well tonight. I ate three tacos at dinner - one more than I should have eaten and I ate two servings of macadamia nuts today - one more than I should have. I still feel like eating so I may just go to bed now. I feel like eating my way through my whole apt. but I won't. For those who are interested in using affirmations the book says reading them out loud for 5 minutes a day makes them eighty percent more effective so give it a try. I will go pray to be relieved of my insane desire to binge and then I will go to bed. Have a nice night everyone.
Diet Calendar Entry for 14 June 2010:
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1887 kcal
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Fat: 153.32g | Prot: 71.27g | Carb: 68.33g.
Breakfast: Bacon. Lunch: Green papper, Cheddar cheese, Lettuce, Tomato. Dinner: Guacomole, Taco. Snacks/Other: Macadamia nuts. more...
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 Comments
I'm sorry you're sad! You are doing such a great job being an online buddy to me! Maybe your friend can get a laptop so she can still get online while she's away... food for thought ;-) Have a better day!!!
14 Jun 10 by member: Myree67
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Andrea I am taking my pc, I will be there as often as I can for you my dear friend, you won't get rid of me that easy. Send those emails and I will be so happy to get them and I will email back I promise. I could be in China and still talk with you. My friendship has just took a new location but its not gone. I love you and I said I would be here and I will be so not to worry...don't eat your way through the house...lol. Remember we are getting skinny together, I will eat on plan at the camp even if I have to chase down my own chicken...lol. I will be on tomorrow when I can... :)
14 Jun 10 by member: BCLenny
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14 Jun 10 by member: Myree67
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(((((((((((((((((Andrea))))))))))))))))) We're all here for ya, sweetie. I understand about difficulty making new friends. I was a marine brat removed from base. While on base, it didn't matter. Everyone was a 'new kid'. Once my father became a recruiter and we went to different places off base, it was a lot harder.
I think it's easier to make friends as adults. We're a little more mature and accepting of each other. So, hand in there. Lenny's still with you, and so are we!
14 Jun 10 by member: Lavinnia
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To know you is to love you, Andrea. Seriously. You may think you're not good at forming friendships, but you bare your soul on this forum and many of us have just fallen in love with you. I SO admire your vulnerability, because that means you are being honest - with us, but much more importantly, with yourself. And you are beginning to know yourself in ways I'd bet you never imagined before. I'm sorry your friend is going to be busy. And it may be true that she may be too busy to keep up with posts a couple of times a day. But you have so much to offer others - it shows here online! Stepping out of your comfort zone is never easy, I know. But you may be experiencing exactly what you think you are - lots of changes all at once. It's all for your growth. You'll be fine. Take deep breaths. And congratulations for deciding to go to bed instead of binging. I WISH I WOULD DO THAT!!! You set a good example for us in that respect. But still too hard on yourself! : ) Take care.
14 Jun 10 by member: redwinelover
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