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Day 7
Mood: am 7 evening dropped to about a 4
Food: am 7 evening 2.5 overate big time
Activity level: during working hours 8, after 3
Yesterday was a bouncing day. Super busy at work not in a true physical sence but having to use my brain and do some trouble shooting. Emotionally it was tough, I am going through the "trust no one state again". I also feel combative and defensive on so many issues! The fight never ends. Speaking what on your mind at an exact moment is not always a good thing. The biggest though is the overwhelming sense of becoming diconnected.
I know these are pretty much all negative feeling, but I need to express them, to try and figure out where they are coming from and what has triggered them. The strongest questions are how they are effecting me and my goals? I know that I have solid goals and I am trying to accomplish them, not to want it right now is still difficult.
Here is an example of something that happened yesterday that was diet related, there is a lady at work who is very slim and tiny! She confessed to me yesterday that she wants to lose another 10lbs off her already skinny frame. Where she will find these extra lbs is beyond me. Instead of being supportive I blurted out that she will look anorexic. It to me was the truth. She is the same person who said that her and I were the same size! But now that she made her confession it made me feel like I was fat since she now wants to lose weight. I know I probably took it the wrong way, but that is how I felt.
Another example of my feelings is trying to explain to my mom the trust no one emotion. Having to speak the truth about past mistakes and how they sounded like excuses. I know I can trust my momm! But the feeling of if I can not trust or believe what people say does she feel the same way about me.
I know these emotions affected me last night as I caved into my comfort food of choice PNB! And my second CEREAL! In moderation neither of these items I would consider to be bad, but in the amounts I ate they were. This is something that needs to end according to my plan.
So today my biggest goal is to organize my feeings and thoughts, in away it will be an exercise for my brain. My next goal is to go to the bulk barn and get healthy snacks! And finally work on my to do list, which has become incresingly longer.
I know one thing at a time, multi task what I can!
Well time to get ready now,
Thank you to everyone who reads this and suggestions on this situation are slways welcomed and appreciated.
Hope all my buds have a satisfying Saturday.
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