barwel's Journal, 06 August 2018

Part 2- I am so incredibly unhappy with my body but more so the fact that when I’m in shape I look incredible. I present myself well , wear heels and my hair make up clothes are all perfect but I get into this rut where I think because I have 60 extra pounds on me that I am not worthy or that I cannot look good so therefore I look frumpy unhappy and miserable when my true authentic self is far from that as far as my looks. I want to feel pretty and this illusion of extra weight equals unattractive is just messing with my brain. I think the true problem is that I am so disappointed in myself for not being able to do what seems to be so simple yet has been the hardest thing in my life to overcome. Feeling hopeless.....