DollyPat's Journal, 22 July 2018

You can do this, you are an adult and you do not need the validation from your mom to take care of yourself. My mother was the same way, she shamed my weight from a young child, told me she looked better in my clothes as a teenager (i weighed 115), my two younger sisters were the golden children and I was the scapegoat. I finally stopped contact with her when I was 37 and I have finally learned to love myself for myself, not for anyone else’s approval. When you’ve been emotionally abused your whole life, it’s hard to see that it isn’t you, it’s the person who is doing it to you that’s the problem. When it’s your mom, the one person who’s praise and approval you still crave as an adult, it’s a very difficult situation. My heart breaks for you, be strong and love yourself! ❤️ 

Similar story here. Spent many years being told I wasn't good enough, that I was a disappointment, even having to call her by her given name around new people so they wouldn't know she was my mother, and then the shame and embarrassment she would display when she had to admit I was her's. It took a long time to realize that it wasn't my fault that she was the kind of person that needed to hurt people to feel better about herself. I ended contact with my mother 8 years ago. It was the hardest thing I've ever done, but my only regret is not doing it sooner. 

I’m sure that link won’t show up, but if you’ve never researched Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers, google it. There is a lot of information and it is so nice to know you aren’t alone. ❤️ https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/toxic-relationships/201802/daughters-narcissistic-mothers%3famp 

❤ 

At some point you just have to say to yourself "I don't give a damn".. you may not have chosen to be born to her, but you can choose if you do not want her around now. My mother word beat me and I allowed it for over 30 years. I felt like crap, no good, unworthy, why was I even here. One day I was talking to my therapist and she asked me when I planned on living my own life - I said I was waiting on my mom to die. How wrong is that?? From that day forward, my motto has been - I can choose to allow you in my life or choose to keep you out. It is hard because along with the guilt they put on you, they also make you feel you can't live without them. You Can! You just have to get to that confidence on your own.  

Are you doing this for yourself —- or your mother? 

Do your weight loss for you and don't let her put you down even if you have to remove yourself! You are worth it and that is what is important - not what ANYBODY else says - I have been in the same position so I really do understand. Best of luck! 

I thank you all that's so kind 

Doing it for me