kingkeld's Journal, 27 July 2012

Good morning!

I slept amazingly well lest night. I slept so tight that I still now - a full hour after I got up - have trouble waking up from it. I feel rested though, and that's what matters. Nothing beats a good night's sleep.

Today will be a fairly short journal, as I feel that I have energy to get going, and I think I'll get to my music playing ASAP and then go to work at 7 instead of 8, and go home around 10 - 10.30. Sounds like a good way to start the weekend, doesn't it?

I've been watching my weight fluctuations for some days (but not registering them, as they're all over the place) and I see my weight still slowly climbing when I don't do a "diet". Basically I see that when I stop trying to restrict, then the weight goes up. This is of course also related to a LOT of good culinary offers in the streets of the town festival, it's hot and we need to drink, it's a lot of things. But most of all, it's because of me.

So, today I will get hold of my doctor - not the surgeon, as she is still on vacation, but my regular doc - and check with him about what is safe and what is not, regarding weight loss.

I will NOT accept my weight climbing further. I have been under 80 kgs AFTER my surgery - only a few days, but I've been there. This is where I want to be again. I'm not in a hurry. It's not a crazy weight loss frenzy I'm gonna start. I'm simply counting calories to know what I'm doing, and I'm gonna eat my meals, eat until I'm full, and that's it.

I did that yesterday too. I ended up very low on calories, but I had a good portion of protein to help my body out, and I never felt that I was missing anything. I could have had more food if I had been more hungry - I had plenty of room in my RDI - but just as before the surgery when I was really rocking the weight loss journey, I don't want to eat just to up my calories. I don't think it's a wise move, ever. If I am hungry, and if my body wants more, my body will let me know. I don't really refuse myself anything when it comes to food, but registering it puts my focus on it and it makes me realize what I really want and need. This is the way for me to go, at least right now.

Yes, I know. Healing process. I do make sure to have some protein. I try to cut out quite some carbs, but I don't focus 100% on it. I focus on food that I want and that is reasonably healthy.

I have healed just fine up until now. By far, the toughest part of that journey is over. I feel a million times better, and this week has really pushed me forward.

So, yesterday, my food choices were great. I was never hungry, I was always satisfied. The few times I felt like a little something, I'd find a good food choice and have it. Like I said, I had plenty of room in the RDI.

I do want to try to not go too low. I will try this with the best intentions every day. Sometimes it'll happen, though, and it ain't gonna kill me. Most of the time I plan to be between the 1600 and 2000 that I know works, and then take it from there.

Speaking of healing - we took a look at my scar yesterday. It looks beautiful - as far as scars look. I really like the way the surgeons did it, it's very discreet for such a huge cut, and not intruding on my look at all.

I feel that my skin is getting slightly looser around the stomach, I think the swelling is coming down quite some. This is the downside of the whole thing in a way - the swelling of course has to come down (and that will help on my weight numbers too), but I can feel some of my skin getting loser. I especially feel it around my shoulder blades and my chest, and I see my belly (the little that there naturally is left of it) hanging a little more. It doesn't look bad or anything - it probably looks like it should naturally look an at 42 year old dude like me. Compared to my "before surgery"-photos, it looks absolutely beautiful.

So, this is my mission today - and for a while - because I need to get the King's butt in gear:

Lose some weight. I am sick and tired of being held down by my own body, and I am tired of not being comfortable.

Do it right. Take care of myself along the way. Keep a KEEN eye on protein, and make sure my healing process can handle it. I'm almost done, but let's not drop the ball.

Talk to surgeon about exercise and further weight loss details when she's back from vacation next week. Find out what I can and what I can not do.

Move on. I feel that I am mentally getting ready to get out of the "recovering from surgery and having sick time from work"-mode.

Actually, realizing that last paragraph is a major thing, I believe. Once your mind tells you to move on, it's time to move on. It's a sign of healing, it's a sign that you are no longer in that other mode. If I was still sick and needed 100% recovery, then my body would tell me to slow down.

I realized this when I jumped into bed last night. I actually forgot to be careful, and nothing happened by me doing that. It was a nice feeling to let go, and just lie down without too much caution. Looking just a few weeks back, there was NO way for me to do that. Not a chance.

Today I am thankful for:
- Making decisions that'll help me move on.
- FRIDAY!
- Summer and Sun!
- Morning coffee!
- Rockin' the apartment (wearing headphones! LOL!) in a few minutes.

Have an amazing Friday! Saturday and Sunday are probably gonna be short on journaling, but I hope you all have amazing days!

Make someone genuinely happy today! Go do it - it takes less effort than you think. Life is good!

188.1 lb Lost so far: 153.7 lb.    Still to go: 0.7 lb.    Diet followed 100%.

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1036 kcal

Fat: 38.01g | Prot: 59.60g | Carb: 116.66g.   Breakfast: Sliced Ham (Extra Lean), Egg, Rye Bread. Lunch: Italian Salad Dressing (Reduced Fat), Asparagus (Drained Solids, Canned), Butter, Egg Omelet, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables, Shrimp. Dinner: Farfalle prociutto e formaggio. Snacks/Other: french bread. more...

3005 kcal

Activities & Exercise: Sitting - 10 hours and 30 minutes, Standing - 4 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Music playing - 1 hour, Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes. more...