First of all I want to applaud you on writing such an honest journal and sharing it here with us. It's great that you love and accept yourself. I have always longed to have that kind of acceptance for myself. I'm sure you are a beautiful woman and it's wonderful that you know this, however the weight loss is not about beauty it is about health and you want to keep that beauty and health as you age. I think that is what should be motivating you. Starting now to develop good habits that will keep you beautiful and healthy your whole life. Being overweight is the cause of many health problems later in life and you don't want to have those problems. I'm sure you want to be just as active later in life as you are now and now is the time to start working towards a healthier you. I hope you have a great day!!