DairyFarmersWife's Journal, 14 May 2018

I'm going to start today's journal by saying Mother's Day is the pits. It really is. It's advertised as this day of celebrating mothers and telling them how much you appreciate them and love them and blah blah blah. So when you have a family that doesn't do those thing you feel unappreciated, unloved, rejected.. and well.. like you've just raised a bunch of unappreciative A Holes. The thing is.. NO ONE says this. No one admits they hate Mother's Day. I think doing so somehow turns into you hate being a mother. Or maybe you just hate handmade cards and dandelions so someone somewhere may tell you you're an ungrateful B hole. I don't know... I can honestly say I have never heard someone wished the day never happened. All you see is overly happy women wishing other women happy mothers day with facebook posts and pictures of their children. That was until I told people I wished the day didn't exist and then it turns out I'm not the only one that thinks Mother's Day is the pits. And no this doesn't mean we don't love our kids. It means our family doesn't live up to the expectations we have of what being appreciated looks like.

Anyways... yesterday. I was upset for most of the day. I shouldn't have been because I should have known what to expect. It's like this every year. I woke up, worked out, told little man I wouldn't buy him a new video game, had peanut tell me he didn't want me because he only wants his dad, and then the teenager asked me to make her cinnamon rolls. Bumpkis. I got bumpkis. I got treated the same way I do every day. Tiny humans asked me to do things, buy things, and cater to them like they do every day. Their father hinted heavily that I needed to mow the lawn. After he asked me to help fix machinery, let cows out, and do chores. Finally at 6 pm while I was setting up the milk house he made the misstep and said... we should have started earlier so we could go out to dinner. "Why?" I asked. He seemed confused. He still seems confused. After all the pent up anger from the last 6 years of not being his mom, me buying for HIS mom, my mom, and receiving not even a happy mothers day most years. I stated I wanted Mother's Day to never come again. I was done with a day that reminded me I'm not appreciated by my own family. And I went to the house, I changed, and I drove myself and peanut to the store where I purchased a steak, dessert, and orange juice to make myself an amaretto stone sour.. which turned into a very big amaretto stone sour after the teenager asked me for new shoes and told me I had to take her to the mall for a new dress.

In case you're wondering. The 14 yr old who has her own money, is old enough to know better, and able to buy a gift bought me a candle. I think. She says she bought me a candle. I never saw it. I think she bought it then kept it and probably has it in her own room even though there is a rule about candles not being in her room. Don't worry. She still lives. For some reason she is now mad at me for being mad yesterday.

All of this goes back to me not letting people treat me like I don't deserve love, respect, and appreciation. That includes teenagers and tiny humans. I felt like crap. I felt like crap this morning. I didn't even want to workout because what was the point? Then I slapped myself and made myself workout because someone in this world has to think I'm important even if that person is myself. I should be celebrating the fact that so far all of my kids have made it to their current stage in life. I can even celebrate the fact that for the most part my kids are only A holes to me. I've succeeded in some places! So what if I didn't get flowers or breakfast in bed! I could have. I'm perfectly capable of buying them for myself.

Anyways..... Happy Fing Mother's Day!! These holiday things kinda blow. Note to self. Next mother's day celebrate with a day away from being a mother with pampering for succeeding in keeping tiny humans from killing one another.

Diet Calendar Entries for 14 May 2018:
1358 kcal Fat: 110.33g | Prot: 72.96g | Carb: 15.16g.   Breakfast: Keto Coffee, Coffee, Coffee-Mate French Vanilla Liquid Coffee Creamer. Lunch: Beef Top Sirloin (Trimmed to 1/8" Fat), Brussels Sprouts. Dinner: Great Value 100% Pure Beef Patty, Bologna. more...
2826 kcal Activities & Exercise: Fitbit - 24 hours. more...

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Comments 
Yup. I’m right there with you . . . nothing. I was just falling asleep at 10:30 p.m. when my oldest son texted to say Happy Mother’s Day, he’d almost forgotten. Yup, mother’s day Sucks! 
14 May 18 by member: Johanne
I totally agree! Mother’s Day is a load of crap and I wouldn’t miss it one bit. 
14 May 18 by member: a.ketojourney
This is so sad. They are all little arse's when they are young. Most times they grow older and realize how wonderful their mother is. They aren't developed enough yet to have that understanding, but one day they will realize how lucky they have been to have a great mom that did so much for them, and they will place you on the pedestal you deserve. 
14 May 18 by member: Minimizeme
There is always that discussion: hubby says "you are not my mother so no present" - jerks. Then a month later we are supposed to fall all over ourselves celebrating "Father's Day" - but my ex was good after the first year when he got nothing and my family went all out with cards and flowers and phone calls congratulating me for being a mom that first year. I think it's hard to be a woman, never mind being a mom - men should have to do it for a year, Aunt Flo and all. Like the army. 
14 May 18 by member: abbadabba
I'm right there with you but for different reasons. I never had kids of my own. Didn't want them. I was happy being able to do what I wanted when I wanted. Mother's Day came around and I heard from everyone how I missed out. Who will take care of you when you're old? Who? Me, that's who. I married someone with two boys who I practically raised (long story) and I get nothing from them. I don't expect it, never did and never will. I hate having to defend my choice to not have kids and everyone telling me that my step-kids are my kids. No, they're not. They never treated me like a mom and I didn't expect them too. They had a mom. Hopefully they remembered her! As for me, yesterday was just another day trying to make me feel like a failure. Rant over! 
14 May 18 by member: mickfan1
I love my family and I'm fortunate that they at least tell me Happy Mother's Day and even made an effort and had my hubby help them get me two gifts this year, but on the actual day it's just business as usual. I still did the laundry, got the groceries, cooked dinner, took care of myself and everyone else. I really wouldn't care if Mother's Day went away, because like you, I've had the years of nothing, and it's just another day. I don't need a bunch of gifts, and honestly some words of appreciation when it's unexpected would be even better. You are right though, you need to appreciate yourself and all you do, you are important. Good for you for working out when you didn't want to, use that mommy rage to power through. 
14 May 18 by member: mars2kids
Yep— most years my friends and I get out of Dodge and act like the irresponsible teenagers we basically are.  
14 May 18 by member: Kenna Morton
Gosh do we live the same life!! me and my friend have an on going joke not joke and send each other HAPPY F N MOTHERS DAY every year for the last several lol!! This year i did get a card and then a homemade card (which my friend replied girl did you check him for fever) after though i had already burn trash and picked up their messes and done laundry took care of my dad and step moms chickens and dogs went to do dishes wellyou get it!.... I did ask my husband to pick me up a cheat meal from chinese which by the way made my stomach cramp and hurt so i stopped eating waited awhile and tried to eat some more and guess what DROPPED IT ALL IN THE FLOOR!! after i had already shared with my kids who already ate theirs to only stare until i was like eat what you want and dropped it dam i was mad lol shared my one cupcake my friend had made me with them also my husband went to get parts for his truck that had broken of course which fell on mothers day of course but we did go to the creek for and hour and then some drunk people with preteen kids showed up and was loud and laughing the same laugh until i was so annoyed i just said lets just go home. lol i always am in a self pity mode during any holidays its so dam dumb to think of how unappreciated you are i have to cry and throw a fit to even get a present for christmas every few years thats right i said it i cry and rant and scream WHY AM I EVEN HERE!! CLEARLY NOONE CARES! but in the end if we wasn't here to do the taking care of everyone just imagen what they would live in or live like i just tell myself they need me just so i dont run away from home hahaha no but really!!! HERES TO SURVIVING ANOTHER DAY!!!  
14 May 18 by member: Knjs4
my Kids are grown and I have been happily single for 30 years. 
14 May 18 by member: Kenna Morton
You said it, DFW! Since I'm not a mother, I have always kept my opinion about Mothers Day to myself. When is the "not a mother" day? Oh yeah, that's every day. :) 
14 May 18 by member: gz9gjg
I’m sorry this has been your experience for so many years 😢 
14 May 18 by member: momma6224
Oh my, this post makes me so sad. So sorry for all you ladies who are not appreciated and deserve so mucb more. My heart feels for you. 
14 May 18 by member: Daisygirl200
I thought I was the only one! You got it! Hate it and still hate it! 
15 May 18 by member: smprowett
I'm with you! I'm just a cat mom. My partner did buy me a card from our cat, but her daughter came up to visit & turned our (relatively) peaceful world upside down. She drank WAY to much on mother's day & went on an hours-long rant about her seemingly perfect crappy life. I thanked my lucky stars that I'm a cat mom, and barricaded me & Beau in my room with snacks. Okay, a box of purple maize corn flakes😁. They went shopping together yesterday, and i spent hours at the gym, which helped a lot. I briefly looked at Facebook & almost had an allergic reaction from all the flowers my friends posted, and a diabetic reaction fromall the sweet comments. DFW, I appreciate you, even though I've been pretty much awol. Im in total awe of hard-working moms like you, and I adore your wit & way with words. In about 40 years, your kids will (probably) appreciate you. 😉  
15 May 18 by member: crabby Kat
Hahaha, this cheers me up. I’m no mom. I took great pains to avoid it. My siblings have ten brats among them. My sister once said she was tired of being a mom and was quitting. Her two sons graduated high school at the time but she had a 14 yr old girl. She was serious though. Too much work! Moms are nuts! But in the quiet times, I’ve seen many a mom have a fulfilled and tender look when thinking of their babies. I get that way over my funny little dogs 🐶 but that commitment pales. Kids that don’t TRY to do something for their moms are real buggers. I’d cancel Christmas on them. Take a private trip to a B&B and get a massage and drink low carb spritzers. Do you, for you! 
15 May 18 by member: JulsRuls
I spent Mother's Day by myself (ditched all my children - I am lucky they are now grown) and had the best Mother's Day in decades! I recommend it highly! Next Mother's Day, make plans for yourself and no one else! You won't regret it at all! 
15 May 18 by member: RiverRes
DFW - I understand- and have had the same experience as you in the past- I was hurt and disappointed just like you- I also had to be really honest with myself about how I was at that age and how I was probably as oblivious and ungrateful as my kids were at that age. It was a harsh reality. I only realized how wonderful my mother was when I had kids of my own - unfortunately there were a lot of unrecognized years where I certainly did not give my Momma the thanks and recognition she deserved for all her selfless acts and unconditional love. In the meantime make sure you give yourself some love so you don't lose yourself. BIG HUG 
15 May 18 by member: newmooney
I have little kids and a husband and know better than to expect them to meet societies (or my) expectations of Mother's Day. I also DO NOT want presents, we already have so much 'stuff'. So instead for the last two years I've asked my husband to occupy the kids and I just enjoy some peace and solitude by myself. This year I accomplished all the chores - mowed two lawns, grocery shopped, went to the thrift store, cleaned out the garden, all without hearing any fighting or 'mom mom mom' or having to stop to get someone a glass of water. I love my kids and husband, and I'm with them every day 'mothering', so on Mothers Day I do the opposite :) One thing I SO Make certain of - I make an effort to spend time with my Mom and husbands mom with the kids in tow, something special but not necessarily the same day, to recognize Mothers Day. So maybe by osmosis the kids will learn that the young tired moms need peace and quiet, and the older moms need time spent with grown children. LOL 
16 May 18 by member: ninamn22
This is why my sisters, mom and myself started years ago spending Mother's Day with just us. No spouses and no kids which meant we didn't have to cook for the entire crew, cleanup afterwards and chase the kids around the entire time while the guys sat in front of the tv watching a ballgame. We finally wised up and started having much more relaxing and enjoyable Mothers Days. 
16 May 18 by member: zuzus.petals

     
 

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