Leslycat's Journal, 15 December 2017

Ok, well I'm back, after 12 months of stopping,starting and eating terribly. I want to really give this a try, I know leading up to Christmas is difficult, but hey, its just me and him and Christmas dinner can be really simple this year. Bulletproof coffee and an avocado. I'm sharing here because I really need encouragement and writing in a place that's non judgemental because, well we all need encouragement on this road. I'm sitting above 200 pound still, going to way tomorrow because, well I've already eaten half an avocado. My husband of 3 1/2 years tell me he despises me because of my weight and that he "got rid of his second wife because she got fat". We fight what seems to be every day. So I'm doing this because despite what he says I want to live a long and happy life. So any tips to kick start me I am really trying to keep to keto or low carbohydrate. I'm thinking bacon, bulletproof coffee, scrambled eggs stuff like that. I'm reading up on it all again and you know what, even just writing this down has helped shift my mindset. Thank you for listening and I hope everyone is having a fabulous day. This is me, fat girl hiding under her hat lol

Diet Calendar Entry for 15 December 2017:
1296 kcal Fat: 100.79g | Prot: 71.82g | Carb: 28.20g.   Breakfast: Bacon, Bacon, Land O'Lakes Heavy Whipping Cream, Tea (Brewed), Green Giant Hass Avocado. Lunch: Bacon, Albertsons Heavy Whipping Cream, Tea (Brewed), American Cheese, Food Lion London Broil, Swanson 100% Natural Chicken Broth. Dinner: Deli Sliced Ham, Swanson 100% Natural Chicken Broth. Snacks/Other: Planters Raw Almonds, Dill Cucumber Pickles, Pawley's Island Palmetto Cheese, Food Lion Pork Rinds. more...

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Comments 
You sound like a beautiful person. I just got back on the wagon too. I originally started at 225 and went down to 145. The weight came creeping back after 5 years when I got married. Both my husband and I love to eat but I am disabled and can’t work out like him so the weight keeps coming. All you can do is just get of the scale and start. Please don’t listen to your husband. I understand the health reasons but if it wasn’t for that I ‘d stay a cubby curvy girl forever. Best of luck on your journey...you can do it... 
15 Dec 17 by member: casper baby
Your right acknowledging what you want and what you need, HELPS! I love this site because of the wonderful people who cheer us on, give us some honest opinions, and who we share some things in common. It is hard to deal with a person in your life who feels and says something so mean. Your hubby of 3 and half years might find himself out of luck when you are feeling confident and proud of yourself!  
15 Dec 17 by member: ginger dog
You clearly have a passion to reach your goal - much success to you! 
15 Dec 17 by member: From371to184
drink lots of water no soda pops...that kicked off my weight loss. (288 now 210, two years)  
15 Dec 17 by member: marquis.w.knight
and do it for you, not him, you are the closest person to you and you got to be happy with you...being fat is hard; being skinny is hard... it's a choice we have to make not anyone else 
15 Dec 17 by member: marquis.w.knight
Please don't let anything your husband say or do discourage you. You should do this only because it is what you want to do for yourself, and your health. True love is not base on a person's weight. It comes from deep within the heart, and base on what a person is on the inside not the outside. According to your picture you are a beautiful lady on the outside in spite of your weight, and base on your words you are also a wonderful person on the inside. Your husband should be proud to say you are his wife, the love of his life. So Leslycat stick to your passion to lose weight, we are here to encourage you and cheer you on. Enjoy your journey, and you will have great success. 
15 Dec 17 by member: summerlinangel3
I noticed in your profile you've been here for 3 years and been gaining weight since then. That might be something to look at. We, as Americans, eat crap. Too much fast food, soda, snacks. The timing of or meals is all backwards too. We eat dinner, the biggest meal of the day, right before bedtime. That's wrong. I know the Europeans eat their biggest meal at lunch. In Austria and Germany, at least in the suburbs, shut everything down at lunch time and that's when they eat the big meal. So maybe compare what/how you've been eating lately to what you at before you came here. 
15 Dec 17 by member: CARMELHILL
I was 184 and an ugly mess wheni met my bf, now im back to a size 0-2. my partner doesnt want me to lose more but its not up to him, its up to me. do what you need to do to feel the best and superior 
15 Dec 17 by member: godlessnorth1488
@CARMELHILL, eating before bed isnt wrong. your body doesnt know when its being fed.its the total calories that matter 
15 Dec 17 by member: godlessnorth1488
First I want to say. You are a beautiful woman. Weight does not define who we are. If anyone in your life tells it does, then you need to rethink how much you need that person. No one should be telling you how much to weight except maybe your doctor. People love you for who you are not what you look like. From your picture you have nothing to worry about you are so pretty. We are all here for you to help you with your quest for better health. You can do this.  
15 Dec 17 by member: tjham51
aesthetic defines 90% of who you are 
15 Dec 17 by member: godlessnorth1488
This is probably not PC but the fat does change you and it does create a wall between you and the ones you love. I too am sick of carrying around the equivalent of another person who interferes not only in my most intimate relationship but in my life in general. I look forward to the day when I can return to myself; my real self. 
15 Dec 17 by member: Looped
The trick is to be happily discontent, half the problem is when we allow the extra weight to change how we feel about ourselves. So be who you used to be, do what you used to do and feel how you used to feel, otherwise you are no longer the PERSON he fell in love with. So do what makes you feel happy and aim to lose the weight and be confident that you are still a beautiful PERSON. Good luck :) 
15 Dec 17 by member: Harmony1356
You got this. I agree with tjham51. You are beautiful and you could start telling yourself that everyday. It’s called Mirror Talk. Write down a list of positive affirmations and then read them out loud in front of the mirror every morning. It’s rewiring your brain. I am beautiful. I am kind. I love my family. I love me!!! I am worthy. You can do this❤️ 
15 Dec 17 by member: kenton2116
Good luck... Just be persistent through the setbacks and believe you can do it.  
15 Dec 17 by member: srcshanti
for me, my goal to workout and eat right, mostly the eat right part, is the clothing i wear.when one buys "sample size (i.e IT 38-40) OR FR 34-36, the prices are usually less expensive. for instance , a Thom Browne skirt in a IT 34 was $500 cheaper for me than one that was a size 38. i diet and kill myself at gym to fit these sample sizes. my fashion and clothing collection keeps me going. you just need to find out what suits you , huN! KEEP AT IT BAE!:) 
15 Dec 17 by member: godlessnorth1488
Welcome back!!! Stick with us and keep logging your food intake and activity. You will reach your destination if you continue to walk in the right direction.  
15 Dec 17 by member: John10251
keto diet 60% fat 35% protein 5% carbs (green veggies) Learn to love it. I'm a truck driver. I eat grilled chicken sandwiches no buns. ultimate cheese burgers no buns. canned spinach drained with hitsauce, and curry spices. Stick to 1500 calories so you don't cheat. it hard sticking to keto diet. 25 net carbs or less. I eat a big lunch all my 1500 in one sitting. Then I don't eat again til next day. It great for blood sugar, and weight loss. Fuck sugar,fuck carbs,fuck flour take your life back you deserve it. I make keto cakes with soy flour,splenda, and skinny coffee syrup. If you're a texan like me we love to drink. I drink unflavored whiskey with diet cherry coke. Gin with diet lemonade. Plain Vodka with skinny coffe syrups. it took me four times to finally stick to ketogenic diet. Sugar addiction is hard to break,but it's worth it. If any friends,or family give tou any shit because you want eat the garbage they eat just leave them. I broke up a 15 friendship because I wouldn't do a vegan diet because I won't eat rice, and beans while doing keto, and also because I use Splenda. My triglycerides dropped from 765 to 135 doing the Ketogenic diet. I could no longer afford crestor. Guess what? I a stick of butter in my coffe with splenda. Carbs are bad simple as that. Good luck on your new life. 
15 Dec 17 by member: LufielBelman
hi Lesly....I am following the keto way of eating and have been on it for almost 5 weeks. I lost 10 lbs first month but not being too strict on it. As for all the emotional eating....caused by a person's remarks/insults to someone they are "supposed to love"...........IGNORE it and get busy living or get busy dying! You are strong and deserve to be happy within yourself! No one is perfect and no one has that RIGHT to judge another person based on the exterior of their being. You are strong, determined so keep doing what you are doing...you have lots of support here and by golly! you will be a success story! keep smiling, stay strong..cheers Moe 
15 Dec 17 by member: Maureen Zavesiczky
Hey girl. Just my opinion but you are a beautiful lady and if he can't be more appreciative and understanding then I would certainly rethink the relationship....just saying. You shouldn't have to be talked to in such a hurtful way by the person that should be your support through EVERYTHING! I have had great success with 1200 calories and exercise. I am also on hormone blockers...Tamoxifen and Zoladex, which cause weight gain. I've lost 37 lbs. I made my goal and then some. Gained a few back since Halloween but I'm back on track until Christmas lol Good luck pretty lady! You can do it!! 
15 Dec 17 by member: dragoneyez71

     
 

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