LadyinDenim's Journal, 22 October 2016

My goals are bigger than my want  

Wrote the book X.  

If you find the answer to that one, let me know. I think this is something we're going to struggle with forever if we don't want to end up back in the same old bad place. 

I certainly know THAT feeling! I think I'm getting better at resisting. What I do is really try to think about how I FEEL AFTER a major binge. I feel awful, guilty, self loathing, sad, all those negative feelings about MYSELF. I hate feeling that way. It hasn't stopped all of them but they are fewer and farther between... 

I remind myself how I used to feel...tired, achy, sore, fuzzy headed. Is it worth it?  

I ask myself if eating it is worth the aches and joint pains.... sometimes it is and sometimes it's not. I am not perfect but I know me and I avoid situations where I cannot control myself. I have to as I am not 20 anymore and little mishaps become 4 or more days of misery 😡 

Well, I feel fine. I don't have aches or pains, and I slept like a baby. I am not feeling guilty, either. I just gained weight and have slowed my progress toward my goal. I was feeling exhausted when I got home from work yesterday and there was almost nothing to eat. I used up the last three eggs for a plan meal. Shortly after eating, I laid down to sleep and wasn't resting well. At that point, I entered the red zone and made myself comfortable there. Today is so far, so good. Ready to start Beast Mode 3.0 tomorrow. 

I tell myself that there are a lot of clothes in the wardrobe that I want to fit into ... like NOW...or tomorrow will be nice!!👗 

That might work. I do have a bag of size Large sweaters and tops waiting for me to shrink into. 

This too shall pass! 

Today is one such day. I just resolve to do better tomorrow. 

Lady. You've been starving yourself with super low calorie counts for days. It's no wonder that your body needed to be fed! I know that you haven't been feeling hungry, but maybe if you eat a bit more on those days, you wouldn't get walloped with a frenzied refeed. I think you'll see that you average calories in for the week is still quite low. If you eat healthy and enough, you might find that these cravings don't sneak up on you. 

Just sayin' and with love! 

you cant change these folks erika, they will and have always thought consuming 20 calories or less a day via carbs is the way to go.not to mention overall calorie count is malnutrious level, but to THEM that is healthy and less is an solution to weight loss.so very sad 

I am glad you have no pains. If that was me - then no feeling guilty for me either. Have a GREAT day 

Okthen78 -- LadyinDenim is not 'these folks- or 'THEM', or 'so very sad'! She is my dear buddy. I care about her progress and we share our journey. She is my folk; we are us, and not so very sad. We stand and walk forward together!  

And that doesn't sound like Lady at all either, whatever Okthen78 was saying...But Lady, in that way you I have some similarities because I have those moments. Probably more often than you! And sometimes I eat too little too...you'll get through this-WE will get through this and we will lose this weight! It just feel so rocky and challenging, I know! 

Well, I was in the red zone again today and this is how I left peacefully: I was going to eat out and go to a movie. I invited my 27 year old to join us. She couldn't, but we talked on the phone for half an hour. Hubby was trying to find a movie, but we couldn't agree, and 20 more minutes passed. Then I said, "Maybe I won't blow my diet today", and ate a dark chocolate bar. I told hubby, "I'm not planning my meals in advance, so I don't have things thawed or the right ingredients on hand and when I get home, I'm tired." So, he is going to grill me a burger. So, delay, delay, delay, give some love, get some support. Thanks Erika and Zoe 💖 

Delay is the tactic I use, too. Get busy with something and forget about the wanting, because that's all it is, wanting, not hunger. I could eat all day if I let myself, not because hunger but because I would want to. Hard to kill that want, but possible.  

This is just one day LID. It will pass. I've felt the same so many times. I keep coming back here and I'm inspired again. You are holding in there.