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Hey, friends.
I've been off FS for quite a while but (obviously) need to return. My diet went completely off the rails. I knew that I was packing on weight, but I was in that weird state of semi-denial, living in the moment, never allowing myself to fully the face the damage I was doing by grazing and going back to carbs.
Well, I finally stepped on the scale this morning. Twelve pounds. No wonder I've been feeling uncomfortable, tired, and moody. In hindsight, going off the rails was a really bad idea. That food that I enjoyed? It was good, but it's all gone now. I ate it, experienced it, and then it was gone. But the pounds that I gained for those fleeting pleasures? They're going to hang around for a while. Also, I can't imagine that my body is very happy about yo-yo-ing back up.
But it is what it is. I'm not making and grand plans or setting any lofty goals right now. Mission #1 is to face reality, get back to tracking my food, and cut back on carbs. If I follow this simple plan, I know I'll feel considerably better in a week, probably sooner.
For my friends who remember my goal of fitting in that suit, well... I didn't. Thanks for your encouragement, though.
On a more positive note, I do have good news. DEVIL'S POCKET won the Bram Stoker Award. It was shocking and awesome. When I started writing, I never could have dreamed that I'd win back-to-back Stoker Awards. Crazy. Also crazy (and very cool): RL Stine presented my category. That was a rush.
Sorry to have been incommunicado for so long, and thanks, everyone, for wishing me well before I disappeared. I feel like I've just rolled off a steam grate and limped back into an AA meeting for the first time in way too long. Thanks for your encouragement.
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207.0 lb
Lost so far: 8.0 lb.
Still to go: 29.0 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 26 May 2016:
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2472 kcal
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Fat: 187.51g | Prot: 111.96g | Carb: 48.64g.
Breakfast: Great Value Sliced Almonds, Fried Egg, Jones Dairy Farm Fully Cooked Sausage Patties. Lunch: Kirkland Signature Crumbled Bacon, Great Value Sliced Almonds, Ken's Steak House Thousand Island Dressing, Yellow Sweet Peppers, Wild Harvest Mixed Greens & Spinach Salad, Kirkland Signature Crumbled Bacon, Crystal Farms Shredded Cheddar Cheese. Dinner: Corona Corona Light, Crystal Farms Shredded Cheddar Cheese, Butter, Schwan's Mashed Cauliflower, Genuine Steak House Brand Beef Ribeye Steak. Snacks/Other: Ken's Steak House Thousand Island Dressing, Mixed Salad Greens. more...
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2626 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Housework - 2 hours, Shopping - 20 minutes, Resting - 13 hours and 40 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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gaining 2.0 lb a week
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1 to 20 of 26
 Comments
I've been wondering where you were, and am glad to see you back. That is so GREAT that you won the Bram Stoker again. Congratulations!!! I completely sympathize with your return to carbs and resulting re-gain as I have done it so many times myself. And so many times I also think that the things I ate weren't really worth it and wonder why I did it. Of course there are a lot of "reasons" (low level anxiety, food addiction) but one of the ones I have mused over lately is "freedom." I think it's just plain tiresome to have to be conscious and conscientious about everything we put in our mouths. Wouldn't it be great if we just did that naturally? As the gravelly-voiced announcer says, "In a perfect world...."
26 May 16 by member: trackin64
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You've got a plan... you know what to do. Welcome back, we are here for you!
26 May 16 by member: ImLaura
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Congrats! and everyday is a new day. To be granted with a fresh morning is a blessing in disguise. A day to start over to be a new you and start your day with better choices. A new life... raise the gate and slay the carbs! TODAY LET THERE BE HF FEAST! Good luck :o)
26 May 16 by member: MaverickD9
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John, you were one of my very first buddies and helped encourage and motivate me back in the fall...I've been wondering about you and had hoped you'd make it back here. Great news on the Bram Stoker award, that is a HUGE deal, congrats!! Now you need to take care of yourself, not to fit into a suit, but for your long term health and quality of life...don"t wait till your 55 like me to reboot!! Take care mate, let"s do this!!
26 May 16 by member: Steven Lloyd
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TRACKIN64 -- thanks! I have to agree. Fatigue played a part, though I suppose that low level anxiety and food anxiety (my brain, in other words) exaggerated that fatigue to trick me into a new mode. Whatever the case, it happened. Hope it doesn't happen again any time soon. I wonder if we are actually born with that natural ability. Raised on carbs and processed food, we're not exactly our natural selves anymore.
26 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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26 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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Thanks, MAVERICKD9, and agreed about the blessing of each morning. Swung by the store today and grabbed a fatty steak... my best weapon against carb cravings.
26 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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STEVEN -- great to hear from you, my friend, and thanks for the kind words. You're right, I know. And I know that I can lose the weight. My trick, down through history, has been keeping off the weight. Even when I lose it gradually, I tend to flub up and pack it (or a large portion of it) back on. I've gotten better about this. I used to soar up to 225 before slamming on the brakes, but this has honestly been a bad slide. That doesn't mean that I have to do it again, though. If I could tighten my fluctuations, that would be great. How's your back?
26 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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What an awesome accomplishment! Congrats on the writing. I'm sure you'll get back into the groove soon enough.
26 May 16 by member: dollbaby4567
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Thanks for asking John, Back is great, way ahead of schedule...still needs periodic icing when it gets irritated as there isn't as much clearance where the disk is healing...all expected and not to worry though. I've struggled too...LOT'S...seem to have a few things figured out now and I might have some ideas that might help re your ups and downs...but only if you want as I am no expert...
26 May 16 by member: Steven Lloyd
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Congrats on the award, that's really great and something to be proud of. As for the weight gained, so easy to do....but you're back to where you need to be to get it back off. Hit it the same way you write and it'll be a cinch.
26 May 16 by member: jmb3450
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Hey there :-) I have been having (another) little FS sojourn myself so it looks like we have made a triumphant return on the same day! Congrats on the award - that's awesome!
My dad has been over for a while and he read Phoenix Island last week - thoroughly enjoyed :-) Welcome back
26 May 16 by member: JustineJones
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27 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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Glad to hear you're on the mend, STEVEN. I'd love to hear any ideas you could share. That's the one area of weight control that I have proven my inability in. Very frustrating.
27 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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27 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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I noticed the synchronicity yesterday, JUSTINE. Too funny -- and so glad you're okay. That's so cool that your dad read (and enjoyed) Phoenix Island. Makes me happy. This Wednesday, my sister-in-law and nephew arrive from Australia. Cannot wait to see her -- and meet him!
27 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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Aww DUDE! you WON! I totally remember about you and the awards! Darn, two years in a row...that is completely awesome! NOW, get back to FS - we missed you!
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Sounds good John...I'll PM you tomorrow re a few things I've learned here from others that have worked well for me...take care mate and have a great weekend!!
28 May 16 by member: Steven Lloyd
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Thanks, HCB! I'm happy to be back. You're always very inspiring.
28 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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Thanks, STEVEN. Much appreciated, and have a great weekend!
28 May 16 by member: Lokidixon
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