Ms Elizabeth's Journal, 21 August 2014

It's official. My prediction of having a child with facial hair is going to happen. Mostly because he's unwilling to come out.. ever.. apparently. You'd think all the squats milking cows, walking around the barn, moving gates, carrying around calf pails full of milk, cleaning the house from top to bottom because we have company coming tonight, and running around like a crazy woman would help speed up the process. It hasn't. The only thing I have successfully done is given myself a fat lip! That.. I kind of asked for though.

Note to self.. stop cursing. We obviously live in the middle of nowhere. When you live on a dairy farm it's kind of a given that you don't have close neighbors. Everything is on a back road and we live in upstate ny where there are hills, curves, etc. Well when I was pulling hay wagons out of the field the other day I had to take one of these back roads past Pastor Portney's home. He's a lovely old man. I believe he's in his 90s. He lives on a tiny farm where he sells sweet corn. He also lives on a curve. So everyone and their brother stops to buy some, talk to the pastor, and check out his stand.. which currently has 2 giant umbrellas, a spotlight, decorations, two categories of corn.. fresh and freezer.. and cucks. I think these are cucumbers.. maybe? Who knows. So I attempt to pull past the corn stand which has two trucks parked in front of it blocking half my lane. I don't see anything coming in the opposite direction but again.. its on a curve. I get halfway around the curve and a truck going 80 mph comes flying around the curve. Because well.. it's in the middle of nowhere. People tend to speed where cops don't even bother to go. I of course.. yell F###! In front of Pastor Portney... Windows down.. right.. in.. front.. of the corn stand and the Pastor. Who married us, is like a family member to hubbies family, blesses everyone every time he see's them, army vet, pastor.. I'm sure he's probably heard worse.. but I still immediately bit my lip, got around the other driver.. and woke up with a swollen fat lip the next day. Moral of the story?? Don't say F###! In front of a very sweet 90 yr old pastor.

So now.. I'm 1 day from my due, I've given up cursing hopefully right before I attempt to push a tiny human out into this world, tonight? maybe? please!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!, and.. well.. that's all I've got. I'm walking like crazy, not eating a whole lot because there's no room, weight is steady, and.. I want crab rangoons.