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cluz

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 16

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 07:50
I don't know how to feel about a friend of mine. She is very skinny, she is a person who likes to show off how slim she is, and she always pushed me to take better care of me. Now i lost weight, about 35 pounds amd i am 15 pounds from my goal. All friends are telling me how good i look, complimenting me, motivating me to get to my goal. And she is the only one telling me that i look sick, look older, that my face is falling and i should stop this diet. I don't know what to think... is she the only one telling me the truth? Or is she gelous that i might look better then she is? My husband says that she is not being honest and correct with me. I feel insecure and sometimes statt to believe her. I feel like a teenager .... it 's not like me being like that... is she a good friend? I don't know what to think...
tonym1967

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 49

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 08:13
Nobody can answer for sure, only offer an opinion based on the above, maybe you should just confront her with your thoughts/feelings?
Your body, your choice, heed advice, not instructions.
jeepjenn2

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 22

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 10:40
It really only matters how you feel!
She may not be able to handle the HOT you!!!
Fat is HARD....Fit is HARD...Which HARD do you choose???
Hoser

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 2,052

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 11:35
My guess is that she's insecure about her looks, and she makes herself feel better by thinking that she looks better than you do. If you step back and take a look then you'll probably see lots of cases of her comparing herself favorably to others, by way of putting the others down.

The charitable thing would be to acknowledge that this is just who she is, and let it roll off without bothering you.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 12:04
As always, I am with Hoser.

My guess is that she was always the cute one, the pretty one, the one that got attention. Well, the balance is shifting, you're getting loads of compliments. That makes her insecure. What better way to fix it than to stop you in your mission?

Of course, this might not at all be done on any conscious level. She might not have any idea that this is happening, so go easy on your friend.

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
Spacey47

Joined: Apr 12
Posts: 916

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 17:01
Tbh she sounds like a two faced c#&t to me.

Drop kick the toxic b$#_h out of your life
lostgrl12

Joined: Sep 12
Posts: 6

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 19:18
She probably jealous of you. I had a similar event happened to me with one of my friends who is smaller than me. She likes to be the smallest one in the group and when she found out i was losing weight she decided to start dieting to get smaller. She is already a size 4 but feels the need to go smaller so she can always be the skinniest one in the group. I find it hilarious because my weight loss if for myself and not for competition. I never knew women could be so catty. I need new friends..lol
Wyattj99

Joined: Jul 12
Posts: 213

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 21:00
I was just told the other day as well only from one person that I already look skinny enough but I realize that she too want to lose weight and she is going about it all wrong. People like that I just smile and move on because this is for me and as lostgrl12 says it's not a competition.
1st Goal: 150 lbs
2nd Goal: 135 lbs
3rd Goal: 125 lbs


Jamie
FullaBella

Joined: Oct 12
Posts: 1,080

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Posted: 28 Mar 2013, 21:15
Lot of good advice here let me play the devils advocate. My good friend is tiny; not reed thin but small. When I'd lost 70+ lbs her comment was 'um, I can sort of see it in your face..' So was she being catty or was she just such a good friend all along she never noticed me for the weight as I gained it so I gave her a wide berth for not noticing me for the absence of it ...


I'm not losing WEIGHT. I'm converting FAT to MUSCLE to be healthier.
Cthulhu

Joined: Dec 11
Posts: 167

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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 00:22
Punch her in the throat.

“The last of the human freedoms is to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” ~Victor E. Frankl
shaz7140

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 123

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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 02:55
Ignore her. Whenever I lose weight my family tell me I am too thin. I have put 20 lbs on and my friends tell me I don't need to lose weight (I do need to lose weight). I know what weight I want to be, and which makes me feel happy about my body and ignore what anyone else says. One person even said to me I am too thin.... And she weighs less than me. Not sure why but I think some people feel better about themselves when you are fatter than them. It really is pathetic. You do what you want to do. If you feel you still want to lose a bit more weight then do it Smile


* Calories in V Calories out. That's it !! *
Spacey47

Joined: Apr 12
Posts: 916

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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 03:25
The mind of some WOMEN is something to behold!

You dont need Men to put you down, or de-value you or hold you back because you do such a GREAT job of bitching about and wishing each other ill and thats your so called FRIENDS

I know that some men can be like this also but in my experience and from what i read here and on other sites this seems to be a very strong female trait

Since i have got down to my goal weight in November i have had lots of positive encouragement and praise from people both male and female but all the negative comments i have had suchs as 'you have lost too much'
'you wont be able to keep it off' 'are you having a midlife crisis'
have come from the so called FAIRER SEX!

I am quite a blunt person when i want to be so i give it back straight

COMMENT 'you have lost too much'

My answer I am roughly the same weight as i was at 19 years old (im 48 now)i am as a fit as i have ever been and i feel great about myself..
HOW ABOUT YOU?

COMMENT 'you wont be able to keep it off'

well lets wait and see shall we? thanks for YOUR SUPPORT! , 6 months later look here am looking even better!

COMMENT 'are you having a midlife crisis'

If a midlife crisis means hugely increasing my health, fitness, how i look and feel about my self then YES IM HAVING ONE i only wish i had had it sooner! maybe YOU should have one!



cluz

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 16

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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 06:26
Thanks to all of you for your points of view. They help me think about the all situation. I don 't know why i got so unsecure. She is a good girl and I i guess she does not do it on purpose... she is definitely the good looking of the group, the skinniest (size 2) and definitely she loves attention. But we all are grown ups, married... i don' t want to think we are in competition.... and next time she will say something like that i will ask her about my doubts... probably it 's just me...
cluz

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 16

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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 06:43
Thanks Smile
hollipop

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 36

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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 08:05
I have a coworker who is jealous because of the weight I've lost in the last year. I was the biggest one in our office, but since I've lost the weight, she is now the biggest. If I have an indulgence or "spike" day, she loves telling me that I'm gonna gain all my weight back "eating like that" (as if one cookie would kill my hard work!) I just reply that that cookie will disappear after my workout later. That shuts her up because she certainly won't be working out after her 2 cookies!
I think some people just can't help themselves with putting others down. It is the only way to keep their own ego up. When she says you look sick or old, just tell her that you feel great and everyone else thinks so too! This should make her realize you refuse to listen to her comments, especially since she's the only one who feels that way.
*Holly*

Believing you can is half the battle!
mars2kids

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 1,293

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Posted: 29 Mar 2013, 11:23
I have seen people who lose so much they look sick, but for one I would never tell them that, and for another I'm sure that's not how you look. Maybe for some reason she does truly think you look that way, but I think that asking her about why she thinks that may be the best way to get the answer you need. Maybe she's just trying to say, "I think you look great just the way you are," but doesn't know how to say that. Or, it could be just plain jealousy from the attention you're getting. Either way, you should feel great about the progress you've made and how amazing you look!
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Complete Couch to 5K- DONE!!!
Sign up for and complete a 5K- DONE!! 35 mins.
Plan at least 3 outings with the family that involve being active- 2 done



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