My boyfriend doesn't like "skinny" women?

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Razzle_n_daz...

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 41

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 16:12
So my boyfriend says, "He likes bigger women." "I shouldn't lose weight because skin and bones isn't a real woman." I thought it was insecurities, but I now believe he actually does.. Although, I do what I want.

Does anyone else have this problem with their significant other?




I started my weight loss journey in September at 210.. I joined Fat Secret in the middle of October at 196.. Since then this is what I have accomplished.
musiquette

Joined: Nov 12
Posts: 33

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 16:30
My husband doesn't really say much about my weight though I think he enjoyed it when I was my thinnest, which is where I'm on my way back to now. However, unless you are quite tall I wouldn't think your goal would be too thin.
My goal is just over yours and I am 5'7". I know that when I was 20 and weighed that I looked good, felt good in a bikini for the first time, but no one would have called em skin and bones. I was still a curvy person.
If your goal was 120 or size 2 your boyfriend might have something to worry about. But 150 is completely reasonable.
And realistically, you have to feel good about you first. That's what's most important.
“Life is a bowl of cherries. Some cherries are rotten while others are good; its your job to throw out the rotten ones and forget about them while you enjoy eating the ones that are good! There are two kinds of people: those who choose to throw out the good cherries and wallow in all the rotten ones, and those who choose to throw out all the rotten ones and savor all the good ones.”
― C. JoyBell C.
Razzle_n_daz...

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 41

      quote  
Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 17:26
I agree completely. I'm very curvaceous myself.. As a "stick" I look terrible. He was viewing before pictures, saying how much more attractive I looked to him at 210. One of the pictures is on my profile... Then I'm thinking.. "Are you crazy?" But, he agrees that I need to be happy, and being healthier is a plus.




I started my weight loss journey in September at 210.. I joined Fat Secret in the middle of October at 196.. Since then this is what I have accomplished.
SlimChick

Joined: Jul 09
Posts: 23

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 17:28
Having a bit of an arse/chest is a good thing Smile haha How tall are you? Bone structure, muscles, and height can make a big difference.

At the same time, unless you're over six feet tall, 210 is probably not a healthy BMI. Get on a diet that is healthy and will maintain a healthy BMI, and if the boyfriend really loves you he won't mind if you've lost a few extra.
eKatherine

Joined: Aug 12
Posts: 1,286

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 17:48
At my heaviest I was 215, and my boyfriend thought I would look good if I put on some more weight. I was very uncomfortable at that weight, hated not being able to wear attractive clothing.

He accepted that I wanted to lose weight not only for my health but because I can make more money if I am thin and attractive than dumpy and fat.

I think he was worried that if I lost weight I would look emaciated or shapeless. I have been doing enough exercise that I have become very shapely, and he says he likes this better than fat.
Lizzygracemu...

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 116

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 19:14
it is not healthy to want someone fat, why would he want you to be unhealthy? He will bring you down. Don't get sucked into a sick man. Sorry, just my gut reaction, i hope he isn't that, but ive met a lot of wack jobs in my life and this screams unhealthy.
selenap20

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 88

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Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 19:51
Some men genuinely like large women, I don't think there is a problem with that, to each it's own. On the other hand, I strongly believe there are men out there that want large women because being overweight is often (not always) accompanied by low self esteem and insecurity. It's up to a woman to decide what situation she is in. If you want to lose weight and he doesn't, lose him. Your body is yours and you should do what makes you happy. I'm a very curvy woman and people constantly tell me I don't need to lose any weight but it's not about weight to me, it's about being more athletic and being lighter will help me achieve that.
erika2633

Joined: Nov 11
Posts: 805

      quote  
Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 21:08
Razzle_n_dazzle wrote:
He was viewing before pictures, saying how much more attractive I looked to him at 210. One of the pictures is on my profile... Then I'm thinking.. "Are you crazy?" But, he agrees that I need to be happy, and being healthier is a plus.


He's ridiculous - you look so awesome now!!!


Someone who is busier than you is working out right now.
There will come a day when you can no longer do this. Today is not that day.
Razzle_n_daz...

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 41

      quote  
Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 22:41




I started my weight loss journey in September at 210.. I joined Fat Secret in the middle of October at 196.. Since then this is what I have accomplished.
Razzle_n_daz...

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 41

      quote  
Posted: 06 Jan 2013, 22:49
For anyone curious, this is my before and photo.. I just took the after photo the other day. I love the varied response on this post, and I'm glad I'm not the only one. I told him yesterday if his grizzly beard disappeared maybe I would consider gaining some.. Today he was almost clean shaven. Guess I lied.




I started my weight loss journey in September at 210.. I joined Fat Secret in the middle of October at 196.. Since then this is what I have accomplished.
marianne2003

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 1

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Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 00:43
That's awesome...way to go...keep it up : ))
jamie610811

Joined: Nov 12
Posts: 7

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Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 00:58
Excellent , well done, and looking very good
Sunilein

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 1

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Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 01:58
You look great. This is a great inspiration for losing weight. Thank you! You saved my day and really motivated me to keep going! Be as you feel comfortable and not like other people want you!
jonnybadback

Joined: Aug 12
Posts: 321

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Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 02:00
You look great in both pictures. On the before you carried it well. If a man likes his woman a bit larger its not always about securities sometimes its about more to love. Only you know your man. Just be where you are happy Smile
selenap20

Joined: Dec 12
Posts: 88

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Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 06:19
Wow you really are gorgeous, both before and after but it's about being healthy. You do carry your weight very well and have a very nice figure. Maybe he didn't realize how much you weigh so it seems like you're going to be too skinny or lose your curves? In the after picture you've definitely still got your lovely silhouette, so id just assure him you're not going to be a stick, there will still be mountains in the valley and junk in the trunk Laughing I would post a picture of myself for reference on how heavy you can be and not really look it but I don't know how.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 08:02
Razzle, you look great! I think your comfort in your own skin HAS to come first. I am in somewhat the same position as you - Wife can get REALLY freaked out feeling my bones where I used to be "festively plump", so I know what you're talking about. However, she has come to terms with that the fat guy she fell in love with is now a skinny(er) guy who essentally is no different in any other way.
I think there can easily be some insecurity issues going on. What if you end up so beautiful that the other guys will try to steal you away? What if you end up thinking "I can do better than grizzly beard guy"? I think maybe you can help him out by re-assuring him that you aren't going anywhere, you just wanna more fit, more healthy, feel better and be more happy.
And yes, you look amazing. Well done.

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
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SherylInIowa

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 149

      quote  
Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 08:30
Razzle, if he really cares about you, he would want you to be healthy and 210 is not a healthy weight for you! You look beautiful in both pictures, but you look healthy in the second one.

Is he teasing you? Or is he being serious? If he is serious, you deserve better, someone how really cares about YOU!
Ever shrinking!
Sheryl



thynes

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 216

      quote  
Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 08:58
Oh my! You look GREAT! and NOT skinny. I get the too skinny thing and you look beautiful and healthy! Be happy with yourself, that is most important. Someone saying that they are attracted to only "bigger" girls is a preference but your size doesn't change who you are. Either he loves you for you or he doesn't and if he truely does then your happilness will be important to him.
Razzle_n_daz...

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 41

      quote  
Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 10:03
Thanks for all the compliments!! I don't why my ticker is still saying I'm 153, but I'm 166, at a size 13/ xl in shirts. I'm trying to still reach my goal of 150. Honestly looking at the before picture gives me chills; I was not happy in that point of my life.. So, if he doesn't like it, then he has to deal with it lol. My blood pressure use to be above prehypertension, now its way below 120. I'm healthy and happier. &&selenap20, I use imugur .com> upload the image> then use the BBCode (message boards & forums) to post here.




I started my weight loss journey in September at 210.. I joined Fat Secret in the middle of October at 196.. Since then this is what I have accomplished.
Razzle_n_daz...

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 41

      quote  
Posted: 07 Jan 2013, 10:07
Oh, and did I mention bf weighs about 150 - 160 (very toned), is 5'7...




I started my weight loss journey in September at 210.. I joined Fat Secret in the middle of October at 196.. Since then this is what I have accomplished.



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