being the fat kid

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JessWhatINee...

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 273

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Posted: 04 Dec 2012, 09:21
I saw this article on CNN about a 9 year old girl who went from 186 lbs to 121 lbs.

Looking at her before picture, reminds me of myself & my siblings. We were all three the fat kids in school. My entire life I was the fatty. We were tall too, so I always felt like such a giant monster compared to the other petite skinny little girls.

Never had any 'boyfriends' on the playground, or any guys passing me the 'do you like me? check yes or no' notes. Always picked last in gym class. Embarrassed at how little empty space was between my gut and the desktop. Unable to hang from the monkey bars.

Being a fat kid sucks. Growing up on convenience foods from gas stations, fast food joints, schwans man, and microwave stuff we could make ourselves. I wish my parents had done things different, or seen it as a problem and intervened.

If I am blessed enough to have children someday (hopefully) I will not have them waste their childhood chubby.
triaby

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 321

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Posted: 04 Dec 2012, 09:50
Hey Jess - I was a fat kid too - in the 70s/80s when we were seriously the minority (there was only two of us in my whole junior school who were fat!!) - so totally get where you are coming from here.....

Make the best of your life now though - you have done a fabulous change to yourself and your life Smile

Tracy

I actually have a body like Cindy Crawford, I just keep it well covered to protect it!

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

♥ I am the captain of my soul ♥


Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live.
mars2kids

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 1,254

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Posted: 04 Dec 2012, 10:47
I was bigger for my age when I was in elementary and jr. high, and it really hit me hard in jr. high. In elementary kids didn't say much, but then in jr. high where the high school was combined with the jr. high, things were different. There was more teasing, and I would hear the whispers of the boys saying "you want to go out with her" and another boy saying "that's gross". Those things hurt. Luckily, in the 8th grade I had an excellent PE teacher who taught us about being healthy and pushed us to show us what we could really do physically and that girls could be strong (this was a male teacher). That really impacted me and by my 9th grade year I'd lost quite a bit of weight in a healthy way, and by my senior year those boys saying it would be gross to go out with me were changing their tune, but I didn't forget their hurtful words.
My daughter is now going through something similar, and it's so hard to watch. I feel like we try to set a good example and try to limit the sugary snacks, but she is just gaining. We have put her in sports and try to keep her active by buying her any active toys, bikes, scooters, jump ropes, etc., but it's not helping yet. I'm hoping I can find something to make a difference for her because in a year she'll be in jr. high and I know she'll start struggling with the weight issue. I'm trying not to tell her she needs to lose weight, but that we all need to eat healthy, and that everyone needs to exercise. I feel like if I say anything about her weight in a negative way that will just start her down the wrong path, so I guess I'll just try to keep things positive and hope something works for her.
Goals for 2014:
Complete Couch to 5K- DONE!!!
Sign up for and complete a 5K- DONE!! 35 mins.
Plan at least 3 outings with the family that involve being active- 2 done
thynes

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 216

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Posted: 04 Dec 2012, 12:37
I wasn't the fat kid but I certainly was the "athletic built" ugly one. But my struggles with weight are what is causing me so much pain and stress with my kids. My son was doing so well and I have found that he's sneaking junk food again. He was in great shape and I have seen him really chunk up the last few months. I try to keep a balance and teach moderation so they don't have to go to deprivation like me. I want them to start right young. I don't deprive them but do place limits and help them to try and make better choices on their own and seeing that he just doesn't seem to care is killing me! I explained how it felt being ridiculed by guys especially (for me it was coke bottle glasses and bad teeth) and my sister being in HS at 220 and dealing with the same things. He got scadred but I don't know if it will stick. My diva wants to eat 24/7. Thankfully she is good with gum and we have started letting her have sugar free when she really won't stop begging for a snack. Hoping it will reprogram her a bit I guess. They are both active and in karate, dance, skateboarding, just playing etc... but I guess they were cursed with my metabolism vs their fathers. At least I can control her more for now but what my 11 year old is going through breaks my heart. When he's home with us he eats great (and has gotten better if home alone) but when he's with friends or at school he follows the pack. He admitted that it's more about acceptance and feeling a part of the group. We have talked about it but it's so hard!
Lindsay6384

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 70

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Posted: 04 Dec 2012, 12:46
Same here-fat kid! I remember the terror I would feel as we all lined up in the nurses office to get weighed and I knew the person after me would see my weight. I have dealt with anger that my parents helped cultivate this weight gain in my brother and I...hell I suffered a broken hip at the age of 13 and had to have surgery. The doctor said it was from a growth spirt and being overweight. In the hospital, as I woke from surgery-they brought me fast food to make me feel better. I know they loved me and used food to express it and it sucks. BUT- the good news is we are here-educated and willing to fight for our health. I know I will be devoted to my childs healthy lifestyle and maybe I had to learn it the hard way.
“What you get by reaching your destination is not nearly as important as what you will become by reaching your destination.”
Baileyrose85

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 20

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Posted: 04 Dec 2012, 13:14
I didn't start bulking up until later in my elementary years, 5th grade or so. It was because the normal, healthy, family eating had diminished due to illness, sugery, depression, etc. in my family. I was then usually the "bigger of the smaller girls" weighing in at about 140 in 8th grade. Although I wasn't the biggest, I wasn't the cute, skinny girl that all the boys chased after anymore. It hit me hard and has impacted my life greatly, in many ways. My daughter, who will be 6 at the end of the month has unfortunately learned her eating and snacking habits from my mother. My mother, who's years of depression, various health issues (mostly NON weight related), and general lack of health education, is in the high 200's, 270 maybe. Although she doesn't eat a lot, she has a horrible sweet tooth and due to the health and eating issues, basically has no metabolism. She has taught my daughter that several sweet or non nutritious snacks a day is the norm and perfectly acceptable. This of course leads to arguements between the little one and I about her eating. Although she is becomming more active, now being in school, we don't have friends or neighbors that she plays with on a regular basis and I greatly fear that she will end up with the same struggles that I have. I look at her little body and see little dimples on her skin and think to myself "is this just a growth spurt or is she actually gaining weight?" It saddens me to think that she may endure the same weight related issues I have, for the majority of my life.

All I can do is hope that she is learning from me and not the other influences around her....
pam-u-la

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

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Posted: 05 Dec 2012, 04:56
I too was the fat kid. I mean I was huge compared to my tiny classmates. I remeber the endless tests done at the doctors, the teasing done by other kids. This all led to depression in my teenage years. During that time it was try this diet, lose the weight fast put it back on. Over and over again.
At present it's pretty strange that I am the same weight that I was in grade 4/5.
Diablo360x

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 817

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Posted: 05 Dec 2012, 06:37
If the value of health and fitness is not instilled at a young age things can get out of control. "clean your plate Timmy!"

I truly believe this is a major contributing factor in the obesity epidemic. I see it all the time. People teach their children manners, but not to quit eating after 3 slices of pizza.
Love your food or risk failure. No quick fixes, this is a lifestyle change. No extremes are needed just consistency.
Preggo38

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 121

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Posted: 05 Dec 2012, 09:35
Did you ever get the "there are starving children in Africa that would clean that plate"...and the guilt that went along with it. My own mother now (I'm 40) tried to use guilt the last time she saw me since she thinks I've lost enough weight. She has elderly customers who are sick and can't eat certain things due to nausea and she actually tried to use that on me to eat a piece of chocolate cake...forget the fact that I am prediabetic...she's diabetic and most of my maternal and paternal family are diabetic....."they'd love to have that right now but can't keep anything down"....."what happens if you get sick....what will you fight it with (idea that you have to keep 20lbs around in case you get sick)".

As a mother now...I will NEVER make my kids clean their plate. I will not dangle a dessert as a reward for finishing a plate either. They eat like I eat now and as they have intermittent growth spurts their hunger levels change. If they don't want to finish...so be it. They will grow up with a healthy attitude towards food as "junk" will be a treat...not the daily thing it has become in so many households. I don't keep it in the house now and have no intention of starting. Exercise will be a daily component of their lives and my husband and I agree to keep video games out of the house. We are too competitive and not nice people when we play video games so we have never had a console in the house. we are golfers and my plan for my "foursome" is to spend alot of time outside getting fresh air and exercise, not sitting in front of a game console.
Mmmily

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 115

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Posted: 05 Dec 2012, 10:41
I remember exactly when I went from being the skinny dancer girl in the 5th grade to the overweight giant by 8th grade. We moved from CT to KS and I no longer walked everywhere. My parents didn't really think about healthy living. My dad was always a "meat & potatoes" guy who skipped breakfast & usually lunch, and because he never gained weight he thought he was healthy. And my mom always had excuses as to why she was overweight & she still has the same excuses 20 yrs later. I was lucky in that my friends never gave me a hard time about my weight, but my mother was horrible to me. She would tell me that I shouldn't wear certain clothes because of my thunder thighs, but would refuse to buy me anything new. For years I wore my brothers hand-me-downs because they were the only clothes that fit properly (luckily the 90s grunge style was in fashion). My mom was convinced that if she was just mean enough & told me how disgusting I was, I would get the message. She never encouraged healthy behaviors or led by example. It wasn't until I joined the Navy that I learned how great it feels to be healthy, but by that time I had to reverse 18yrs of bad habits. It's a very slow, ongoing process, but I remain optimistic.

As a mother myself now, I lead by example. I was overweight before my son was born, but I'm doing everything I can to show him how to live healthy now. At 4 yrs old, he's right on track. His favorite snack is cherry tomatoes & helps me cook so I know he's learning healthy habits. I can't say it enough: If you are a parent, yelling or insulting your kids is the WORST thing you can do for them. LEAD BY EXAMPLE. If your child is obese before they're old enough to buy their own snacks, there is no one to blame but yourself. I share custody with my ex-husband & I know he's not as keen on healthy living, but I'm also confident that if I continue to teach & encourage my son, those days he's with his father won't throw him completely off track & he'll maintain good habits.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 05 Dec 2012, 11:56
NO need to repeat the many things said already, but I was definitely also the fat kid. I'm so happy that this website has shown us that there is a way out of it.

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
Preggo38

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 121

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Posted: 05 Dec 2012, 15:33
I thought I would add to my post. Late morning I brought the boys to get their picture taken with Santa. Immediately my toddler did not want to do it and put up a big fuss when the helpers were trying to get him on his knee. I was embarrassed by his behaviour and tried to bribe him. I said Ìf you you just smile for a second Mommy will buy you an ice cream. He shouted at the top of his lungs...I DON`T WANT ICE CREAM, I WANT BROCCOLI!!!!!....everyone had a laugh. I guess I must be doing something right Smile Didn`t get the picture though...will try again when I have back up
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

      quote  
Posted: 06 Dec 2012, 06:08
LOL, Preggo38. That is so funny! Well played, kid. Well played. Smile

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
thynes

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 216

      quote  
Posted: 06 Dec 2012, 09:53
Love it Preggo38!!!! My son might have said that at one point but not now. My daughter? NO WAY! She gets treats every other day tops but trys constantly. Although when she's buttering me up she will ask for something healthy and make sure everyone knows.... well at least she does know the difference. It's a step! Take broccoli and a lollypop next time.
Preggo38

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 121

      quote  
Posted: 06 Dec 2012, 12:48
Broccoli is a staple in my house. Even my 14 month old recognizes it and calls it "bra-keeee" ...spinach is their other favourite. They even take the bun off a burger and go for the cheese and beef first....they've never seen me do it so I'm not sure where they got that from. My neice only eats the bun and leaves the beef so maybe it is a guy thing Smile



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