BUDDY REQUESTS?

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BELLA691967

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 96

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 11:30
SORRY "BUDDIES" but this website is not like FACEBOOK to see how many "buddies" you can acquire! This is a website to give & get support with food. If you aren't going to communicate EVER with your buddy, why bother requesting they be one????? Anyone else have this problem?
Leslie P

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 49

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 11:48
I have sent 2 requests to people who I totally agree with their take on diet and nutrition and I want to be able to follow what they are sharing. (So I can learn and educate myself) Not that I nessecarily plan to chat with on a regular basis. Know what I mean? But I see what you are saying!
skirch97

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 197

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 12:26
I have this problem. I've sent buddy requests that were accepted, message a couple times, then I hear nothing ever again.
Visit my Avon store at www.youravon.com/skirchhoff
fatoldlady

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 296

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 12:55
I got in with a group of people who use journals to communicate. I check their journals usually on a daily basis and comment when I have something to say and they do the same with mine. I find this a great way to provide and receive the support that we need. I agree with Bella, I have several buddies who have disappeared from the site and I will have to delete them even though I don't like to do that.
coachcj8

Joined: May 11
Posts: 382

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 13:21
I would have to agree with you. I went through my buddies last month and got rid of the ones who are not active users on this site. I love to be motivated and help motivate others. I'm not here for popularity.
Cort
erika2633

Joined: Nov 11
Posts: 804

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 14:58
Yep I just went through and did a little mini-clean-out of my buddy list too.. it hurts me to do it and I always wonder what happened to them and try to message them to see if they're still out there, but if they don't respond, I remove them.. Sad I am in the same boat as FOL - I have a great base of buddies that journal and use their Diet Calendars regularly and it really makes me feel super-supported and helps us all keep in touch, and I love it!! So I'm always a little hesitant with new buddy requests, but I always give them a chance!


Someone who is busier than you is working out right now.
There will come a day when you can no longer do this. Today is not that day.
Sk1nnyfuture

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 530

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 15:27
I clear my buddies out every now and then... And yes it hurts and I often wonder what happened to them. But this site is about mutual support... I don't journal every day, but try to comment and encourage where I can.

" Success is what you make it, there's no better time to make a change than the present."

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. "
Baileyrose85

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 20

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 15:33
I am so new to this site and am trying to connect with people who participate. Even though I may not always comment on other peoples journals, I do read them and it keeps me motivated.
Hoser

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 2,052

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 15:58
Different people use the buddy system here in different ways-- there's no one right way to do it. If your way works for you, great! That doesn't mean that everyone else has to have the same notion of what a buddy is.

Personally, I'm abysmally bad at private message rah-rah support-- I suck at the rah-rah part, and I prefer to use the forums for discussing actual issues. However, I'll accept a buddy request from anyone... why not?
erika2633

Joined: Nov 11
Posts: 804

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Posted: 27 Feb 2012, 16:22
I don't always expect my buddies to read my journals and comment and do their own journal every single day and message me and what-not, but when I come across a 'buddy' who is not journaling or using their Diet Calendar or commenting on mine and seems pretty absent in the forums, I don't really see the point in having them as a buddy.. but like I said, I accept my buddy requests and try to keep them involved and supported as much as possible!


Someone who is busier than you is working out right now.
There will come a day when you can no longer do this. Today is not that day.
BELLA691967

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 96

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Posted: 28 Feb 2012, 11:13
Thanks for all the replies. Yeah, I don't expect to be messaged daily or weekly but all but one buddy has never communicated with me AT ALL & never responds to forum posts, completely absent so I do not see the point. Like friends, I want buddies who will support me through my struggles/forum posts & I will do the same, good or bad. Alot of these people do not log their food in daily or at all & are absent from the site most of the time anyway. If any of you want a buddy feel free to send me a request, I'm on here daily (unless vacationing). Best wishes to everyone on their journey!
Baxie

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 105

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Posted: 28 Feb 2012, 12:36
Hey, Bella...I agree with just about everyone's posts here in one way or another...here's MY two cents, for what it's worth.
My weight loss journey feels very boring to me...not sure anyone would really be interested (lol) so I don't post very much...usually just on my weigh-in days. And I don't post what I eat because I'm such a grazer that I think it would really look weird to most people. Having said that, I have to also say that I rarely look at what other people are eating unless they mention a particular issue, like, have they had too much sodium which might account for a gain when everything else seems in line...know what I mean?
As for my own buddies...I only have two. I'm good with that. You're right, it's not facebook. I looked for a couple people who seemed to be in my age bracket with similar weight loss needs/goals. And then, because kingkeld has such an awesome story, I wanted to keep up with him on his journey. I get so much inspiration just by checking in here every day, and reading people's journals who allow it, that's really all I need.
One thing I've noticed is that people who don't share their weight history seem to have fewer friends....AND THAT'S OK, TOO. But, it's REALLY inspiring to watch that bar go from red to orange to yellow...know what I mean? I think I focus on that more than anything, because let's face it: you can talk a good game, but the only thing that really matters is what's on that scale on weigh-in day...as my DH would say, "When the green flag drops, the bulls##t stops!" The rest of what I do here is, when I see a forum post that piques my interest, I read, and may or may not comment...like yours, today.
Today is gonna be a good day...I woke up breathing! Best to you!
Every day I wake up breathing is a good day!
storm9467

Joined: May 10
Posts: 3

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Posted: 28 Feb 2012, 12:40
A point about keeping weight history hidden... I wanted to share with everyone on this site but when I googled my screen name it showed my history to the public without having to sign it to this site. Any way around that issue? I enjoy looking how others are accomplishing goals and I'd like to share too.(without the rest of the world)
BELLA691967

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 96

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Posted: 28 Feb 2012, 14:29
Yes, I just changed my profile to "not show" my journal but it doesn't give the option to show my weight history but not my journal. I use the journal to express my personal struggles with ED but not everyday do I want to share them because I don't want other (younger) women with bulemia to read on the bad days & get bad ideas from what I have done. I have no problem sharing my weight & have always done so until last week when I changed it because of my journal. I am going to email the staff & ask them about changing the options so you can let others view just your weight or journal but not both. If this interests anyone else, please do the same by using the "contact" link. This latest post got me a new buddy request, we'll see how that goes.....
Baxie

Joined: Jan 12
Posts: 105

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Posted: 28 Feb 2012, 15:07
Storm, thanks for that tip. I was unaware of that, and it should be a consideration for privacy's sake. I have been very careful to avoid "identifying" information about myself--have kept it very generalized on purpose for that very reason. I googled me, too, but there were many, many Baxies, and I didn't show up until page 3. I would think that the added numbers after your screen name would make you even less likely to show up.
Every day I wake up breathing is a good day!
lineruds

Joined: Feb 12
Posts: 10

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Posted: 28 Feb 2012, 16:39
I started a diet on this site and other members joined up, so I feel responsible for their sucess in a way and added them to my buddy list. I wanted to create a supportive environment so I've read their journals, their progress, wrote them comments and emails, which lead to my feeling of dissapoinnted when none of them responded. I guess I shouldn't take it so personal, but I don't feel responsible for them anymore.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 28 Feb 2012, 23:50
A comment on the journaling:

I know that some people don't really know what to write. I know some people thing that they're not "interesting enough that anyone would want to read". Well, I don't think the journal is really meant for others. It's meant for yourself. It's therapy. When you write, you ask yourself questions - AND YOU ANSWER THEM! When you can not find answers, buddies will often pitch in with suggestions.
So write for you first, for others second. Smile

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

      quote  
Posted: 29 Feb 2012, 07:48
...and Baxie - thanks for the kind words. Smile

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
Katiekinz

Joined: Dec 11
Posts: 108

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Posted: 29 Feb 2012, 09:29
I don't even think that having a lot of friends on facebook is important. It's so silly having friends anywhere that don't talk to you or support you. I went through my facebook a couple of months ago and purged a lot of friends, going from 500+ to a little over 100 (half of which is extended family, if I could delete some of them I would lol!). Of course, I've already encountered a couple of awkward situations since (like the fact that a few of the girls I deleted go to my gym, so when I said hi they ignored me!!!) It's just so silly - if I haven't seen you in a couple of years and the most exchange we have is when facebook reminds me it's your birthday, what's the point of me reading your statuses every day? One person said "you could have just deleted them from your news feed" - but that makes even less sense to me. Thankfully most of my buddies have been EXTREMELY supportive, the ones who haven't just "disappeared" a few weeks into their diet.
orchidannie

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 11

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Posted: 29 Feb 2012, 09:32
Very well said Kingkeld and Katie I can't agree with you guys more!!



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