Has anyone ever been told???

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pam-u-la

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

      quote  
Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 06:55
"oh you would be so much prettier if you lost weight"
I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to responde to ppl who used to say this to me and who now are large themselves.
Here's the catch.. I am smaller now than I have been since grade 8! And that was 27 years ago...
Thanks to all who responde.
Sk1nnyfuture

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 530

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 07:06
What! How very, very rude they are.... I think you should reply VERY, VERY calmly and with a small smile on your face, "I think that is a very personal, and hurtful thing to say."..... Don't try in any way to justify yourself, or your weight - which incidentally does not seem at all in the overweight category.
This will make them realise, that their comment is totally 'out of order'. If/when they try to justify their comment, just be very calm and don't make a comment, smile slightly and then change the subject.
Being calm and polite - unlike them- will throw them off kilter. You will need to practise this when you are on your own, do it over and over again, so you get the calm tone in your voice and the smile off pat. Good luck Smile

" Success is what you make it, there's no better time to make a change than the present."

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kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 07:57
How about smacking them across the face with a rolled up newspaper?

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Helewis

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 339

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 07:58
Keld, you are a riot!
sallyally

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 30

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 08:24
JUST PUT A BIG SMILE ON YOUR FACE NEXT TIME YOU SEE THEM!!! NOTHING LIKE LETTING THEM KNOW YOU'VE SUCCEEDED!!!
Sk1nnyfuture

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 530

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 08:49
LMAO Kingkeld...... Good one- only trouble is pam-u-la may get done for assault lol

" Success is what you make it, there's no better time to make a change than the present."

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. "
countess...

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 239

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 10:28
oh i am so pleased now that i am pettier than you ....but than i always was ...or well at least im not rude
waist 50 " 1 jan 20013
waist 48 " 1 march 20013
countess...

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 239

      quote  
Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 10:30
i wouls just not have anything to do with anyone so rude and nasty ever again you can do so much better with positive genuine friends who love you for who you are
waist 50 " 1 jan 20013
waist 48 " 1 march 20013
Buffmotherof...

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 8

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 10:50
You will always have "haters". I've yo-yoed all my life. When I'm heavy I get comments like you have such a pretty face. When I'm thin I hear I look sick. Then I get comments about how I'm getting fat again! I don't have a great come back. I just know that others will always have something negative to say and I chose not to let it effect
me.
mars2kids

Joined: Mar 11
Posts: 1,293

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 11:56
I would just make sure that you have a very flattering outfit on the next time you are going to see that person and flaunt what you've got. They will be jealous of you for what you've accomplished, and maybe they will try to make a healthier change in their life with you as their inspiration. Or you could always bring them a cake or something they can't resist and while they are stuffing their face you can say, "I choose not to eat things like that because people always said I would be prettier if I lost weight and look at me now!" Watch their face drop as you call them on their comment.
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gnat824

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 1,712

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 12:47
I'll never understand why people possibly think that it's ok to say things like that. Keep on doing your thing - if you feel great about how you look, then let that confidence shine through. Nothing is more attractive than confidence!

One of the big reasons I think people say garbage like that is because they lack confidence themselves and can only make themselves feel good by putting other people down. Keep in mind that it reflects more on THEM than on you and try to distance yourself from these types of people as much as you can, since they'll only reinforce any negative thoughts you have about yourself.

I think it's incredible that you're at the lowest weight you've been at in 27 years!
- Natalie
Munchkin09

Joined: Mar 09
Posts: 4

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 14:33
Just give them your biggest smile and say " I don't know what that means" then change the subject to anything that makes you happy. This seems to bother people who are trying to get under your skin. Don't feed into negative energy.
Doing what you've always done is a surefire way to get what you've always got: nothing.

snugles

Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 199

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 19:31
my first thought "well at least i can diet" hence the old line i may be fat but your ugly line. but i like to piss off rude ppl so i may say "well i actually am trying to lose weight what are you trying to do about bad manners/personality flaws/blunt rudeness...etc." or being as they are large themselves you could say"you might be right lets lose weight togother and get PRETTIER" or "really, thanks i always believe you would be too." the last is my favorite because you can mirrored there so call compliment right back at them, what could they say to that?
ferlengheti

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 200

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 22:30
I would probably say "Good Lord, what a deeply unpleasant thing to say to someone. You must be either very shallow, or very unhappy." (or I'd just tell them to get effed.)
I've never met a cheese I didn't like.
kstubblefiel...

Joined: May 10
Posts: 1,400

      quote  
Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 23:19
pam-u-la wrote:
"oh you would be so much prettier if you lost weight"
I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions on how to responde to ppl who used to say this to me and who now are large themselves.
Here's the catch.. I am smaller now than I have been since grade 8! And that was 27 years ago...
Thanks to all who responde.

Responding to something people USED TO say to you is very different from having to respond to things they say to you now. If they are large themselves I suspect they aren't still saying these things to you, in which case you need to let it go because as you see it has come back around to them.

Personally I'm the type not to let people slide with stuff like that, so I'd say very matter-of-factly, "wow, that was really rude. Why would you say something like that?" & force them to explain themselves, which of course is impossible for something so rude, so I would sit back & enjoy watching them dig themselves out.

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asagohan

Joined: Jun 11
Posts: 229

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Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 23:49
I have the problem of some people asking/joking that i am pregnant. i straight up told my grandpa 'Thats not funny, Don't joke about that because its absolutely NOT funny' I went totally serious on him and i think he got it. Joking/asking a woman who wants kids badly, that has PCOS and a bad case of central obesity is NOT COOL.
pam-u-la

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

      quote  
Posted: 28 Oct 2011, 05:55
Thank you everyone for your responses.
Yes I have pin pointed some of these people and in turn for their rudeness I have found myself saying things like... " oh my the years have not been good to you!" or making the general statement that if I was "if I had such as pretty face heavy, then I must be drop dead gorgeous now... and yes I do have it all going on"
But here is a laugh for everyone... "silk and sating, leather and lace my good golly you have one ugly face" !!!
sarahduke

Joined: Apr 11
Posts: 73

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Posted: 28 Oct 2011, 22:43
Keld- "some people need a high five.... in the face.... with a chair"
LOL
Rude people will always be rude...fat people have a the ability to change.
I can loose weight to be pretty on the outside- its gonna be alot more work for you to be pretty on the indside- good luck with that!
“Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.” ~ Woody Allen
greerp

Joined: Apr 11
Posts: 496

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Posted: 29 Oct 2011, 09:59
Definitely rude for sure. I've had people at work say "Oh you look so great now that you have lost weight". Implying I did not look great before. Unfortunately, they were right. I do look better now and I'm healthier.
woox2

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 520

      quote  
Posted: 29 Oct 2011, 10:28
My two least favorite are:

When are you do (touch stomach)?

AND

You've (she's) got such a pretty face.

"Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does." ~ William James



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