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Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

Posted: 19 Oct 2011, 07:19
Question how do you overcome insecurities over your body image even though you have lost weight?
I have always been very self conscious over my weight, and being teased badly growing up certainly created some wounds that have left scars. I was a very obese child... 235lbs @ age 13! Literally as big around as i was tall. I've never been able to get rid of that "fat girl" image. Plus I have the battle scars to prove it, also known as stretch marks, (bad, bad stretch marks.. from strictly weight fluctuations and not pregnancy)..
Does anyone out there have any advice to give???

Joined: Jan 09
Posts: 100

Posted: 20 Oct 2011, 05:43
Wow ... Look what you have accomplished! You must be so proud of yourself Pam! And you only have 7 pounds to your goal!! Do you have any of your old clothes? If so, try them on .... Look how big they are. If not, perhaps compare an older photo with a current photo. See the new you! Embrace that satisfaction. You are a new woman!

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

Posted: 20 Oct 2011, 06:28
Thank you Javadali...
Yes I have tried on old clothes and it was a great feeling to have some of my jeans actually fall off.
I guess this body image is basically based on my unclothed appearance. Mostly my abdomen that looks like a helium ballon that has lost the air slowly and is left all crinkled. However I am continuing to work on this issue...

Joined: May 11
Posts: 212

Posted: 20 Oct 2011, 06:38
This is difficult. Even naturally slim people have hang-ups about their (unclothed) bodies. Especially women always find something to obsess about. Focussing on the positive changes might help to put things in perspective. You still have 7 lbs to go, hopefully there will be some more improvement.
"Think you can, think you can't; either way, you'll be right."-Henry Ford

Joined: Oct 07
Posts: 14

Posted: 23 Oct 2011, 09:41
Pam-U-La, I know exactly what you mean. After losing a lot of weight, even with exercise, we all have loose, hanging stuff. My stomach refuses to be flat. Aside from tummy tuck surgery, which I won't do, I just keep at it and also I wear Lee Instantly Slims You jeans. They do a pretty good job firming things up. Most of all, I look at what I've accomplished and don't worry so much about the residuial flesh. Best of health to you!

Joined: Sep 11
Posts: 11

Posted: 23 Oct 2011, 09:54
I found myself in the same scenerio and then i found an article and a quote stood out that i still repeat. "if you don't/can't love yourself before the weight is off, then you still won't after the weight is gone"

slowly i have tried to accept myself and come to being content with what i have become. doesn't mean im not still trying to improve it but it's a different outlook.

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 29

Posted: 23 Oct 2011, 13:59
Hi pam-u-la,I was the complete opposite to you and remember knocking on a neighbours door and asking for a jam sandwich i was so hungry, i tasted rhubarb crumble when i was 17 and never looked back, of course i could eat a lot of food cos i was into sport and exercise.

I used to walk behind my mum and dad, so they wouldnt be embarrassed by me, i think that qualifies as a body image problem, however i have not felt like that for MANY years, older and wiser, i suppose.

Whilst i am a fat secret member i am going to try and FOCUS on my POSITIVES (and like you Pam there are quite a few, we just need to remind ourselves)
My original profile has disappeared so I will update. I live in Scotland with my husband. My 2 grown up sons live within 20 minutes from my home, though in opposite directions. My youngest has 2 children whm I look after twice a week and of course sleepovers. I love looking after them

I have been on Fs since august 2011 without success, my own doing of course as the support and caring words from buddieswere faultless. My problem, I know I should lose weight for health and fitness, however I am undisciplined and unfortunately got used to my weight, which means of course that I have forgotten how it feels to be so fit as I once was.
My family have accepted their pleas have fallen on deaf ears as my weight remains the same.
I may not be on here much as I originally came back to say hello to my buddies that I have never forgotten.

Most of my buddies seem to have taken a break too. I can only say that on or off FS I am going to try and make steps toward a healthier, fitter life.

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 3

Posted: 23 Oct 2011, 18:09
Hi pam-u-la, I do understand where you are coming from and it can be tough and sometimes disheartening. After working so hard and losing 120 lbs myself I sometimes look in the mirror and see that fat girl staring back at me. I was never not fat so I have a lot of extra skin and odd pockets of fat here and there. Best advice I can give you is if it starts to get you down just think of all you've accomplished! Keep your head high and remember how much healthier you are!

Joined: Jan 10
Posts: 201

Posted: 23 Oct 2011, 20:16
I was depressed about my image etc. But one day for no reason I looked in the mirror decided only to focus on my good parts. Nice breast, butt and face huh i never saw that before just the fat. That day i had lots of energy. the next day i saw fat and was depressed again, sooo the next i decided to try to focus on the good parts again. This yo-yo back and forth but now i see the good 80% of the time. Mainly because i dont look in mirrors much or pictures of me. my mind think i look like someone who weighs around 145lbs i weigh 260. Its you mental belief mind over matter. Because i believe i weigh less i am happier and people think i weigh alot less than i do because of the way i act and carry myself. just believe you are beautiful and someday you will believe it.

Joined: May 11
Posts: 164

Posted: 24 Oct 2011, 14:26
Like Snugles said, focus on the good parts. I always liked my upper body. I love my boobs, they look great on me! Focus on what you like about your body, there has to be something, and forget about how you feel about the rest until you are ready to love it all!

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

Posted: 26 Oct 2011, 06:21
Thank you to each and everyone of you that have shared that you too have this body image difficulty. I will try to look at the good parts. Which I must admit I do have a few Smile my shoulders are broad but I like them that way, my neck is slender, and occassionally I get compliments that I have a great "ass"! LOL
Once again thank you.

Joined: Oct 11
Posts: 64

Posted: 26 Oct 2011, 11:03
Yeah even when I was about 160-180 pounds I disliked how I looked. I was told that I was attractive but to me, I never was. Then I got married and became a house wife and my weight went up to 245 pounds currently. Now I don't even want to go outside and if I do, I wear a big sweater. I look back at when I was 160 pounds and I can now admit I looked pretty good.

As a female it's really hard to accept how you look. My self confidence has always been pretty low. But yeah I agree with what people are saying about focusing on the parts you like and continue working on the parts you don't like. In the end we are our own worst critics.

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 62

Posted: 26 Oct 2011, 11:13
I agree with everyone about the good parts. You are beautiful inside AND outside. Learn to love yourself, no matter what. You have come so far, take solace in how far you have come. The only person's opinion that counts is yours. Smile
Laughter is the best exercise!
"Smile, it makes people wonder what you are up to. Laugh, and people wonder if you are nuts!" unknown

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 81

Posted: 26 Oct 2011, 13:24
Many people have a negative body image... a girl work with is about 105lbs and petite, she thinks she is skin and bones and wishes she were more curvy. Meanwhile I have lost 44Lbs (I am 5'4) and I am 100% still in my fat girl suit, No matter what how many times people tell me Im looking great. Its kind of a double edged compliment... Its nice to hear that you look good but part of my mind thinks.. do I need to be slimmer to look even better? Its all negative body image. We will each have to remind ourselves of our acomplishments and hopefully find our inner confidence. =)

Good Luck Everyone !

The Difference between WANT and NEED is self control.
Its not about the food I cannot have, Its about the body I will not have if I eat that food.

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 298

Posted: 27 Oct 2011, 06:36
Thank you everyone for your posts. I have the beauty on the inside now to bring it out.
We all have a mission in life, support makes up physically and emotionally strong.

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