Don't be a stranger!

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kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 04:39
I see a lot of people here "hiding" behind avatars in their bio, having their progress and diaries set to private etc.
I truly believe that when you do this, you really aren't doing yourself a favor.
By adding a real photo of you, you tell yourself (and the world) that you commit. You tell the world and the FatSecret community that you are serious about this and that you want to lose that weight once and for all.
I recommend that you make all the info accessable to everyone, as other users such as myself tend to check in on each other, give advice, support, comment etc.
If you "hide" behind avatars, you don't appear as unique and interesting as a person, and it's harder for buddies and supporters to relate to.
So come on - put up that bio pic, make yourself visible, and stalk these forums.
It keeps you committed and keeps you accountable.
Just my toughts on this... Smile

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
TaniaMarie

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 98

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 05:03
I agree.. and besides I love seeing who the person behind the post is. Smile Must be cuz I'm kinda nosy.
I was going to hide my weight and my journals but then who could help me if they can't see what I'm doing. And we're all on fatsecret for the main purpose of support. Right? I'm hiding nothing from anyone. lol

When hubby got home from work yesterday and I yelled I lost 10 pounds this week he looked a tad shocked. I think it's cuz I was eating a lot. lol

I used to be a closet dieter. NO MORE!! I'm gonna tell the world. It's not like they can't tell I'm overweight DUHHHHHHHHHH It'd like hiding your bulge behind baggy clothes. That doesn't work either.. Hiding is not the way to do it. A journey is more fun if you have someone to share it with.. Smile
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Philosophy for all women:
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil shudders and says, "Oh Sh#t she's awake!"


New MrsRando

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 160

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Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 09:57
When a person doesn't share their journal or diet and does not post a real picture the lifestyle change or diet is not really real. It's similar to playing a video game. No one knows if you'd succeeded and no one knows if you fail. I think this is a way for people to feel like they are trying but give themselves an out if it doesn't work.

The only way to healthy and sustainable weight loss is through a lifestyle change. Lifestyle changes require support.

Bocalvr

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 137

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 11:00
I guess I am not real. It is a personal choice what we share or don't share. Why people feel they can be here and not be told they have to give info. We have a hard enough time keeping new people who are insecure about how they feel if they are just starting.

Alot of people love to show progress as they lose. Before and after pics. I have mentioned before why I didn't add my food or journals. Many of us know exactly what we are eating, no need to post for others to analize. I have said this too, I eat a banana everyday, I have had people say that is too many. Sorry I am not here to have people tell me I can't eat the same fruit everyday.

I don't want to push anyone to do anything they are not ready to share. That doesn't mean we are hiding or not following our plan. Maybe I will add a photo one day too. I don't have any recent ones. I don't choose who I support by a photo. Yes it is nice to put a face to a name. It just doesn't bother me if people don't add a picture. I would rather have them show up.

I always share my weigh in each week for anyone to see. Up to us if we keep things private or not.
Eat to Live, Not Live to Eat.
lauries3

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 81

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Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 11:08
wow, that was a great post. I chose to share, not that I care what people think,sometimes the advice is helpful onetime someone said something that hurt my feelings and I was just going to quit on myself, but I realized it was her and not me who had the problem. I am here because I eat and need support not for others to beat me up, I beat myself up enough because of the way I look. Thanks for the post.I really enjoyed it.
"And so, after he patiently endured,he obtained the promise."
“Even though my body carries excess weight, I totally and completely love and accept myself.”
HerStrawberr...

Joined: May 11
Posts: 35

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Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 11:17
I respectfully disagree. Some people keep their journals private due to not wanting certian people reading them. I had mine private because my sister used to come on here and I wasn't comfortable with her reading some very personal issues I was/am having. I also know of another member who has her journal private because of someone who was reading it and using it against her in real life. We can't lump everyone into 'one' catagory. People do things for many reasons and for us to judge them simply because they don't want to share their info with everyone is wrong. This is suppose to be a HELPFULL and SUPPORTIVE site. When we start casting stones amoung us, how will people feel comfortable? Some people I'm sure keep their stuff private due to the fact they might be ashamed of their food or whatever and if that is the case.....they only have to answer to themselves when they look into the mirror. Who are we to judge? I mean SERIOUSLY!! Who is ANYONE to judge??? We ALL struggle, not one single person here is prefect, no matter how much weight we have lost. I learn and grow everyday. But, if i don't want to share my journal or my food journal....frankly....I don't freaking have too NOR should I have to justify WHY.
Smile. You're Beautifull!

"You will only change when the pain of remaining the same is greater than the pain of changing".

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” August Wilson


“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow.” Mary Anne Radmacher


gnat824

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 1,712

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 11:22
Bocalvr, I think the difference is if you expect the same level of support from the community if you aren't sharing. So many people put up these posts like "help, what am I doing wrong?" and "what diet should I choose?" Those kinds of questions require that you share part of yourself if you want good answer. The more accurately you record what you eat, how you exercise and how you feel in your calendars and journal, the better the recommendations you're going to get when you get stuck.

I do agree that the unsolicited advice annoys me- I hate it when complete strangers tell me to cut my carbs and calories. It's one thing if I've asking for help but another entirely if they just want to judge what I'm eating by some completely arbitrary standard (since there is no one WOE that works for everyone and in general no one "right" way to eat!) If it's working for you, eat your banana and enjoy it.

I think the bigger issue that the string is getting at is commitment- puting yourself out there on a personal level is one way to commit to losing weight or being healthy, as opposed to just visiting the website a few times for a week or two. A photo is symoblic of that, as is taking the time to craft a bio with your history and motivations. But if you're actively logging and journalling for yourself and engaging in the community, that's another way of making the commitment. The point is that the commitment has to be there, in whatever form it may take. Success doesn't happen by accident, but is the product of lots of hard work and taking full advantage of all the tools you can (like this website!). The fly by night folks who show up, make a post that they're starting today and need buddies and then disappear in a week or two clearly haven't made that commitment. I started out as an occasional calorie counter, so I know where they're coming from- but the more you engage, the more likely you are to find yourself making the commitment that you need to be successful, even if that wasn't where you were when you first joined FS.
- Natalie
squery

Joined: Nov 10
Posts: 45

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Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 11:34
I totally agree with the original post and with Natalie's comments above. Weight loss is hard and often in our every day lives, it's tough to find supportive people who will not sabotage you or judge you for trying to lose weight. This online community was a complete godsend for me because not only can I hold myself accountable by tracking and seeing my progress and ups and downs with calorie counting, but I have this amazing community of people who are committed, inspirational and if I need them to, they'll kick me in the butt to get me back on track. The sharing component for me has been pretty essential to my success.

That being said, I was an avocado with a smiley face until today. I just changed my profile pic to my before and halfway photo. This is me, guys!
Joshsteeny

Joined: Apr 11
Posts: 43

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 11:50
Hi everyone,

I agree that you cannot lump everyone together - we all have different reasons why we do or do not keep our info. private. But I also agree that the more active you are, the more you share, the more the website has to offer you. I have been using calorie counter websites on and off for years but I never actively participated in the community.
I decided this time I really want to try and stick to it, even if I have to log that I ate 5000 calories of cake on a bad day because even if I only lose 1 pound every month that is still progress. We are all here to better ourselves. I really don't think anyone on this site is here to ridicule others. That said, I found that I like to try to friend active members of the community that I can relate too....You start developing a connection with people and feel like you are a part of something bigger and you really start to care about the people you see on here everyday. It helps to see someone else succeeding and think, "If they can do it, I can..." or if someone is struggling think, "I've been there, how did I get through?"

The more involved I get in the community the more accountable I am to myself. I think, well I can log that later...or I can log it now and see how my buddy is doing todaySmile

So I guess my point is, FS is what you make of it.

Oh, and thanks to the FS community for helping me reach my goals!

Joshsteeny

Joined: Apr 11
Posts: 43

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 11:53
@squery
Looking Good! Congratulations.
Helewis

Joined: Jan 11
Posts: 339

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:03
As a security engineer, my reasons are for security. After 125 lbs lost, I remain, however, fully committed to the weightloss journey
TaniaMarie

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 98

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:04
I do believe people have their reasons for privacy. I am in no way saying that because a person doesn't have a picture or show me their diet that they cannot be a FABULOUS BUDDY!! Nor do I think they don't deserve the same support that those of us who share everything get.
Bocalvr and I are buddy's and I have to say that she has been the most help to me so far. Sight unseen. I will support her even if I NEVER see her face. She's a remarkable person who is not afraid to share herself, her opinions. She writes me an email every day that I look forward to seeing as soon as I get on. How many buddies do that for you?

I like pictures because I'm nosy I like to see what everyone looks like. That's just me. I barely look at what others eat. If someone asked me to I would but I'm a BEGINNER at this. I eat LARGE amounts of CARBS haha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Philosophy for all women:
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil shudders and says, "Oh Sh#t she's awake!"


M.Trublu

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 279

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:11
Wow! Did not realize some people felt this way. I am one that does not have a personal pic up. I am not saying that one day I will not put one up but I am a private person. Believe it or not I don't even have a facebook page. I know, I know...I've heard it all but I think due to my background and history I have seen things that has me shy away from too much info online. That is one of the reasons why I love this site. I can give and receive a lot of support. I can give as much or as little info as I want. I feel like I do give a lot of info. I keep everything up to date, except for a picture.

I am curious...DOES A PICTURE MAKE THAT BIG OF A DIFFERENCE IF I AM KEEPING EVERYTHING ELSE UP TO DATE? I am not sure if and when I will put a picture up. But I would like some feedback on what others think I should be putting up...good and bad. All feedback is informative.

Thank You All.
M. Trublu


Javadali

Joined: Jan 09
Posts: 96

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:11
All good points. Personally for me, I have a "thing" about photos being uploaded to go "out there" ... I don't have one uploaded to FB either. But, I don't feel that I am hiding and do feel that it is a personal choice. I think Kingkeld hit it on the head "and the world" -- I know the last time I was faithfully logging into FS, I was so "paranoid" my information could be accessed outside the FS space that I went back and forth from private to allowing everyone on regular basis. Another reason I didn't use a photo is I probably hadn't figured out how to upload it! Wink But for now, I am not as paranoid, allowing all to view my stats as I know I need all the help I can get and I may even figure out how to upload a photo.

Make it a great day and thanks everyone!
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:12
Of course there can be reasons for not sharing, like Helewis say, and those that follow Helewis know there is amazing progress. I'm talking about the general idea - I do believe that when you share and participate you also dedicate and that is generally what'll make you reach the ultimate goal. I'm not saying it can not be done otherwise. Smile
Wow this turned into a very interesting thread. Smile

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
M.Trublu

Joined: Aug 11
Posts: 279

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:16
Very interesting thread. I like it when topics can be discussed and debated in a healthy way.
M. Trublu


TaniaMarie

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 98

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:29
MEOW!! haha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Philosophy for all women:
Live your life in such a way that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil shudders and says, "Oh Sh#t she's awake!"


phsmalls

Joined: Sep 11
Posts: 9

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:42
I get the idea behind this - I do. As a previous member here, who has come back I can tell you my first time around I shared all. This time around I am not sharing anything - with hardly any one. Why? Because the last time I did it ended horribly. People from my real life found me, they were harsh and cruel and very mean. For the sake of that I have chose to go incognito. Do I have a bio? Nope, but I do make sure I email someone if I am requesting a buddie invite - to make sure they know I have the same goals and feelings as them, if they chose not to add me that is OK. I really think its a personal thing, and weightloss really is a personal thing. If you choose to share and be proud of your acheivments that is great, but honestly, some people do not want the entire world to know they are here in fear that they will not succeed and that they will get a bunch of "I-TOLD-YOU_SO" nay sayers.
phsmalls

Joined: Sep 11
Posts: 9

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:43
I forgot to add, if I were to ask a question about my diet or anything else I would make my profile open so I could get the answers I needed BUT I really do think it is a personal choice. Oh and FYI, I really do look like my avatar Wink
New MrsRando

Joined: Jul 11
Posts: 160

      quote  
Posted: 05 Oct 2011, 12:49
wow, this thread exploded.

I can agree that there are many reasons to keep journals and pictures private. I should have been more specific that I believe that SOME people do not share because it is an easy out if it doesn't work out. Accountability is a huge deal for me and sharing my stuff makes me accountable to more people than just myself.

And I did not imply that PEOPLE are not real, I stated the weight loss effort can be treated as though it doesn't matter because it isn't real as no one is aware the effort began in the first place.

I sincerely hope I did not offend anyone Smile



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