Skewed image of our bodies

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fluffynotfat

Joined: May 10
Posts: 41

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 12:34
Does anyone else see this in themselves. When I was 18 I weighed 175 lbs and was SKINNY. However, I thought I was FAT because my mother, who is 5'2" and weighs 80lb soaking wet, said I was fat. I started dieting and have been on the diet roller coaster ever since, slowly gaining weight every year. Now, I look back at the pictures of me at 175 and realize that is my GOAL WEIGHT and that I am as thin there as I could ever want to be. Has anyone else had this experience where someone telling you that you were fat, even when you weren't, actually started you having a weight problem? Just curious. Question
All things in Moderation enables you to live Life to the Fullest!

k8yk

Joined: Jan 09
Posts: 4,546

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 12:57
Yes. Exactly the same. People always assume I weigh less than I do. You might enjoy my blog. This is my favorite subject of all. I was fine as a teen at 180. The because a dr said I was "severely overweight". I dieted my way to obesity. If I had only accepted my body as a tall, strong body rather than trying to be something I am not, I don't think it would have ever happened.
My blog, This is not a Diet:
http://notsobigk.wordpress.com
Follow me on Facebook for tips, recipes, advice, exercise ideas and more:
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bella611

Joined: Sep 10
Posts: 71

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 13:00
YES! I hate self fulfilling prophecies. My family use to call me "thunder thighs" as a kid, I bought into it... despite the fact that I did speed-skating, so it should have been normal for me to have larger thighs than my cousins who didn't skate.
"It doesn't matter how fast you run if you're not heading toward the finish line." - Jeff Levy

"It's never too late to become the person you might have been." - George Elliot
Galahad

Joined: Oct 10
Posts: 86

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 13:06
My story is a little different. My concern with my weight started in grade 3 when my teacher made notice of some weight that I had gained to the whole classroom. From there, I went up and up. When I did finally achieve a healthier weight, through very destructive means, I still thought I was overweight. I got on some meds and stopped the bad stuff I was doing to myself and gained over 50 lbs. I don't know if it was just people being kind, but when they would learn of my 230+ pounds, no one believed me. They always said that I don't look it. Now that I'm on my journey, my goal is actually just 5 lbs less than I was when I was a healthier weight yet still thought I was heavy.
hlr1112

Joined: Aug 10
Posts: 36

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 13:08
Absolutely! In high school I was 125lb, still more than the recommended weight for my height...but I carried it well, I've always been muscular. My mom constantly told tell me I was chunky or fat. My mom has always been thin. She eats whatever she wants and doesn't worry about it. She doesn't understand what it takes to lose weight. She thinks that if you don't lose 4-5lbs per week, you are "cheating." Even at my most successful, eating healthy, losing a couple of pounds per week, that wasn't good enough. It was then that I developed the all or nothing mentality. By that I mean, the thinking where you mess up and have a cookie and then think you've blown the entire day so you may as well eat what you want and restart again on Monday. I no longer tell my mom when I'm attempting to eat healthy. She expects me to fail everytime. This time, I will not fail and one cookie, is no longer cause to eat an entire cake!


bizzybee38

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 286

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 13:13
I long for those days. I was 99 lbs and insisted that I had a fat belly. How ridiculous that seems now. The only problem about that is that you develop that negative body image and then you can't get away from it. As much as I lose I still have difficulty looking at myself as being "thin". I have got to break that stupid "image" of myself and what tv has drilled into my head. It's lame.
sherilyn70

Joined: May 10
Posts: 548

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 13:15
When I graduated from high school I weight 120. when I got to 135 I was horrified I'd gained so much weight. Now I'm happy at 185 and the lowest I'm willing to go is 155. It's funny to think back at how I thought I was fat at 135 now. (I'm 5'7)
TheChunkyOne

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 247

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 13:41
my skewed body image started at 13 when my grandma made the comment "Go ahead, fatty" when i went to grab a fried shrimp.

Up until then i had never thought of myself as fat, i was chubby thanks to to puberty, and insecure thanks to my brand new DD's, but never felt fat.

Now i gain a tenth of a pound and have a mental breakdown becuase all i can think of is the way i felt when my grandma (of all people) felt it neccessary to call me fat.
k8yk

Joined: Jan 09
Posts: 4,546

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 13:54
I hope the parents reading this thread take note. The things you say to your kids stick.
My blog, This is not a Diet:
http://notsobigk.wordpress.com
Follow me on Facebook for tips, recipes, advice, exercise ideas and more:
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inertiatic

Joined: Nov 10
Posts: 29

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 14:04
i have to agree with k8yk. please, parents, pay attention to what you say (and how you say it).
loveaic

Joined: Jul 09
Posts: 25

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 14:44
Mine wasn't my parents, it was a handful of my peers starting in 4th and 5th grade. A cousin in 4th grade called me "fatso", and then in 5th grade I got "hippo hips" and "thunder thighs", then in 9th grade it was "fatgirl". I love it that now days (I am 36) most people are bigger than me. But, back 20-25 years ago, I was the exception; now I would have fit right in.
Julesdn

Joined: Oct 10
Posts: 3

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 14:53
Most calculators reccomend a weight loss of 30kg to put me in a healthy weight range. Thanks but no thanks. I'm older, my body has changed and I am aiming to be healthier rather than skinny. I look back at old photos and think"how could I think I was fat???
~~JULES~~
Lee2010

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 200

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 15:38
When I started to hit puberty, everytime I saw my granddad he'd tell me I was 'packing on the beef' and he'd tell my mum she 'had a fat ass' - he thought it was a funny joke-type thing to say, but I believed him. I was about 12 - 15 years old.

Then I was watching an american TV show/sitcom and the main woman character was all mad because her husband had estimated she weighed 140 pounds and really she was only 120 pounds. So I got curious as to how much that actually was, worked it out, and realised I was 145 pounds! So that must mean that I was fat.

Anyway, now at the moment I weigh 61.5kg, or 135 pounds, and I am 5'6" tall, and I am having real trouble convincing myself that I am not fat. I am healthy. But I still feel fat and am a bit worried that I will never be happy with myself.
amy1flite

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 155

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 15:59
As a teen, I had the opposite problem... I was always reffered to as " Olive Oyl".. Lanky and tall and way too skinny!! It wasn't a compliment!!
It sucks to realize that words can impact us so much!!!
barbieq13

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 133

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 16:11
when my hubby and I were first married, I was about a size 8... fat size for me... shoulda been a 6/7 like when we started dating at 19. But my sis in law and mom in law are very very petite and for some reason thought nothing of joking about my weight or specifically my butt. Mind you, at 5'7" I was 36c, 24, 38. In school, I was called "thunder thighs" because I had a more shapely body than most of the other young girls. Judging from all the male attention I got after high school, I apparently had a pretty amazing body for being so fat! It wasn't until I had lost 25 lbs and had a fit last summer (that my adult nieces and nephews were privvy to via facebook) that things started to change. Now it's one extreme to the other. Sis in law I guess is trying to be supportive and calling me Skinny Mini... I can't understand whey she can't just acknowledge people for who they are rather than the weight they are. No wonder her daughter is practically anorexic now.
barbieq13

Joined: Jul 10
Posts: 133

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 16:21
I just went back and read everyones posts.. Amazing what we allow people to do to us huh? No one ever looks at the fitness level.... I was on track- high jump and distance running. OF COURSE I had thighs! Even now... If I was the 135-140 the charts say I should be, I would look anorexic! My husband would not be interested in my body any longer.... 12 year old boys are not his thing!!!!! I carry a 36 DDD right now (lost 48 lbs... not an oz there). I have muscles I never knew I had back when I "taught aerobics" at 18. (anyone who could be peppy could teach arobics back in the 80's!) It sucks that it takes us so many years and so much self destruction to figure out who we really want to be and who we want to please.
fluffynotfat

Joined: May 10
Posts: 41

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 16:43
Personally, I have become very Zen about this and actually feel sorry for the people making those types of remarks. It shows how low their own self esteem is that they can feel better by belittling someone else. I am heavy but healthy and working my way down to the weight I was at 18 and "fat". Lucky for me, all of my kids have LOADS of self esteem and don't care what anyone says about their looks. My 18 year old son even wears my fuzzy scarf when it is really cold out and doesn't care when his buddies call him a sissy. He just replies that at least he is warm and they are freezing trying to be "cool". He is built just the way I was as a teenager, tall, gangly, and very, very fit. He has been raised on healthy food, not junk food, and really only eats junk if he goes out with friends, otherwise, he is more apt to choose a subway sandwich over a big mac any day.

If people could all be that self assured, we would not have the struggles we do right now with out weight.

barbieq13 - I hear what you are saying. My husband likes my curves too. He tells me that most men would rather sleep with a curvy woman than a "boy" too.
All things in Moderation enables you to live Life to the Fullest!

k8yk

Joined: Jan 09
Posts: 4,546

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 16:57
It took me until I was 30 to realize there wasn't something horribly wrong with me. As a kid, teen, and young adult, all that got through was fat is bad, the worst thing is to be fat, I am fat, there is something wrong with me, I don't deserve anything because I'm fat and fat is bad.

I realize now this was ridiculous, just wish I'd realized it sooner. My parents didn't help. Your kids are very lucky to have someone to teach them what is actually valuable is not on the outside Smile
My blog, This is not a Diet:
http://notsobigk.wordpress.com
Follow me on Facebook for tips, recipes, advice, exercise ideas and more:
http://www.facebook.com/notadiet
fit4orme

Joined: Oct 10
Posts: 35

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 19:32
OMG I can so relate to this! I remember looking at the JC Penney catalog, and I had to make sure whatever I wanted came in Chubbies as they used to call it. I thought I was so big growing up and in jr high and highschool. I was around 160lbs and isn't it coincidental that that is the size I'm trying to get to now! All my friends were just so petite and small framed which may have made me look bigger, but I think that 160 is a good size for me.
Regina,
"Fearfully and Wonderfully Made"


"This is a Lifestyle NOT a quick fix!"
momx04

Joined: Sep 10
Posts: 15

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Posted: 22 Nov 2010, 21:36
I was 150 in HS (size 9)and I thought I was fat. It wasn't my parents that ever called me fat, but the kids at school. Some of my friends weighed 80-100 lbs. Looking back at being 5'7" and 150...OMG I would love to be that weight again. I don't think at 46 I'll ever get there, but I tell my 16 yr. old daughter this story all the time. She is 5"8 and 175, athletic, strong, confident, definitely beautiful! She worries about her weight and I tell her I am striving to be her weight! I can't wait to steal those great jeans from her closet one day!




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