That "Who the hell do you think you are?!" moment

We all have them right? Someone, for some reason, feels like they have the right to just tell you how to fix your “being fat” problem… yeah?! Here is mine.

I have been told by so many people (as messed up as that is) that I am the perfect candidate for weight loss surgery, and my grandma actually did have the gastric bypass surgery when it first became popular, and within a few years, she had managed to gain it all back, so I knew at a young age that it wasn't something that worked.

SO, my grandma that had the surgery has never really been too fond of me, I have found out threw family members that when she does bother to mention me, all it’s about is my weight. How fat or not at I have been lately. Usually how fat I am. So, needless to say, we only speak at Christmas time, when I am obligated to be around her. Well about a year ago, I had come by her house to talk to my cousin (who rents a room from her) about my car, and she knows from past experiences I don't "DO" surgery. Not unless its life or death. So she comes up to me and says, "Oh, Shannon, Did you hear that they have a new procedure in Europe, they can give you a gastric bypass without having to even cut you open, they just go thru your mouth." and I stood there with a blank stare. She continued, "I know you don't like the surgery, but this way you wouldn't have to really have surgery, it would all be on the inside. I think you should seriously look into it, maybe your insurance would pay for it since you’re so young, “ could not believe she just said that to me.... seriously? You’re serious? I just gave her the who the hell do you think you are look and managed to squeeze out an "OKkkk..." I was shocked. WHO DOES THAT?!?! SERIOSULY?!?

SO that is my "Who the hell do you think you are?!" moment. I mean there have been a few, but never from someone so close to my blood line before. LOL

I’m just curious as to how many of you also have these kind of experiences? I wanted to leave this open for discussion, you don’t have to comment on mine. :] It is just a story that I didn’t even know until today has been waiting to be told LOL. I know there are not very many opportunities to vent about that one time in the 4thgrade when that kid called you fat (LOL) but sometimes, we just need to!!! Looking forward to seeing your stories!!

Thanks for writing your story....I think most overweight people experienced that, and i am one of them looool...One a day, my uncle saw me, and he only see me once a year...He told me in front of my family members, oh you have a FAT STOMACH NOW! and whats make it funny that he is overweight than me with more than 40 pounds looool..So, he has a bigger stomach than me...After, i realized that people won't stop commenting on you even if you became thin..They just comment on people to feel better!!..They do not care about our emotions or even respects..They wanna make their emotions better...Also, if we lost weight, they gonna say oh you always been better! They wanna see overweight people around them to feel BETTER...Recently, i do not give any attention about what they are saying..Just caring about my health and future...

Oh ALL the time, even now that I've lost the weight. People think they know about weight loss, even those who are heavy still themselves. I got the "You should try Atkins, it works so good! I lost 100 pounds! I mean, yeah I gained it all back, but it totally worked!" so many times I wanted to punch those people. I don't want to lose weight fast! I want to lose it PERMANENTLY!!!

I have a guy at work on a low carb diet who gives me s##t for eating bananas. "Pure sugar" he says. Yeah, come talk to me when YOU'VE lost 100 pounds, buddy.

Shae, you're going to do this your own way and I am proud of you. Use these idiots as motivation. When I first told people I was going to lose weight, they looked at me like "Oh sure you are". Well they are eating their hats now aren't they? I just said to myself "I'll show you!" And I did.

You're doing this for yourself and nobody else. That's the most important thing to remember. Because you think these people are going to suddenly be supportive when you've lost the weight? They aren't. Miserable people are just miserable. And some people are simply incapable of being happy for other people, family members or no. If it isn't your weight, they'll find something else to be critical of.

Now I'm "too thin", lol. Which is it? Too fat or too thin? And why do other people think they get to tell me what's wrong with me? I would never do that to them.

All of my 'who the hell do you think you are' moments have been with my grandma too!
She is literally OCD about weight, not only hers, but everyone's around her.

When i was about 12 or 13 and sporting some 'puberty weight', i came in the kitchen one evening, ready to eat dinner. I had a pretty large snack after school, and my grandma had mentioned then that i wasnt even going to need to eat dinner. So, when i walked into the kitchen and went to grab a fried shrimp, fresh outta the grease she said (and infront of a friend of mine, might i add) "Go ahead fatty"

And THAT moment is where my issues with my weight began.

what i love is when i'm in the breakroom and obviously eating healthy, the people (or i'll say person) who isn't eating as healthy feels they have to give me an excuse for why they are eating crap.. (mind u.. this "person" is not slim at ALL,.. at ALL ).. THEN decides to give me dieting tips... WHAT?! until u practice what u preach then i really don't want to know how u prepare ur chicken or your veggies. and this is everyday... lol.. i'm eating my tuna and cucumbers.. and she's covering her rice beans and steak.. bro i don't care what u eat.. i'm not telling u to eat like me.. !.. she told my coworker who is working on increasing her protein that she shouldn't eat meat to get protein.. just a sliver is necessary. No you don't HAVE to eat meat.. but don't just make up stuff!!

I have a stepdaughter who is quite a bit overweight (150+ pounds). I would like to talk to her about this, but so far I haven't.

Our talk would probably be her "Who the hell do you think you are" moment, but I am just concerned about her health.

I was only called fat once, at least to my face. I was in the middle of a camping trip a few years ago when I got a call saying tornadoes were headed to where I was camping. I decided to pack up and head to my nearest relative's (my grandma) house for shelter. When I got there a family 'friend' (read: drunken asshole) was on the porch doing what he does best (being a drunken asshole). I hadn't seen him in years, and when he saw me he said, "Wow. You're getting kinda fat ain't ya." I decided to take my chances with the tornadoes.

When I was training for a marathon I got down to the low 180s/high 170s, and people were telling me I was too thin. Family members were even telling me I looked sick. To put it in perspective, I'm 5'9" and most charts tell me 165 is "normal" for that height.

Lead by example As I'm sure you already have done.

Don't talk to her about her weight, talk to her about eating healthy and getting exercise. All the negative comments from my family only made it worse. It seemed like they put so much emphasis on my weight that it gave it too much importance. If you can talk her into joining some kind of sport or physical activity that would be the best. If you can educate her about nutrition that would be even better. But from my own experience as an overweight child/teenager I could never take the comments about my weight without feeling very, very bad about myself. I think this is especially true for girls. I'm sure she knows she's overweight. Kids are cruel to each other.

I feel like if someone had approached the subject in a positive way, it would have been so much better than "I'm worried about your weight". I remember my mother taking me to a water aerobics class and I loved it. Then she quit going and stopped taking me.

Just my 2 cents (or 20 cents as usual!)

I'm with k8...instead of talking to her about her weight, share your own story of weight loss with her and let her take what she wants from it. She'll be able to relate to your experiences & end up being more open. Something that was "I was in your shoes once, this is how it was for me, this is what I did about it, this is how my life is different now that I did it" will be more effective than "I'm worried about you."

My family whenever I saw them would always say something "wow you good are you losing weight" When I never did. One year I actually gain about 20-30lbs from Christmas-Christmas and I had an aunt and a couple of cousins say the same thing. It was very uncomfortable and embarrassing. I'm sure they meant well but I felt like they were being sarcastic and I always dreaded those comments.

Shae, I'm glad you are anti-surgery, there are far better ways to lose weight and keep it off.

WOW! I must say I didn't know that ppl were so negative on the other end! I mean it makes total sense, its just not something I had thought of.
A agree that we should all live by example. :] I am actually looking forward to hearing I'm too thin, for the first time anyway, I think my jaw will hit the floor LOL

And Kate, thank you so much for your kind words :] they mean a lot. I know I can do this! I know this because I have met you, and mimi and others who have :] You guys do more inspiring then you can imagine

I believe so too I believe the only reason to do it is if you can not walk or move, and you are in a life or death state of living. And Im none of the above. I am tall so I have always had the advantage of caring my weight without much of a problem. Which i am thankful for, since its taken me a bit to change my ways lol Thank you hun!

I instinctively know not to approach her until the time is right. She has seen my progress and has begun going to the gym periodically, so I know she is moving in the right direction.

Thanks for the feedback. My main point is that sometimes people say things that seem evil when they are in fact genuinely concerned.

I think my Grandma is just evil. LOL but I see what you are saying :]

That's why I said "sometimes". The other times, it is just plain evil.

Well let's see there is the "don't eat that you will get fatter" my mother and the "if you keep eating you'll be as big as a house oh wait you are big as a house" my father. Now its " you need to eat some of this fried chicken your to skin" my parents. And this is best one "you look grossly skinny around your collarbone area" ex-friend....lol. Yeah....who would say s##t like that!

I've pretty much ignore everyone. This is for you Shae....no one else. Don't let them stop you.

Reading all of your posts that are so true make me laugh. K8yk I tell my FIL that I am not trying to lose it fast.. I am trying to lose it forever.. and I tell him that all the time. I would guess his weight to be between 375 and 425 and he loves to give me tips all the time like your banana "pure sugar" guy. Well we have a good relationship and I said to him back in Jan. "ok papasan (that is what I call him) you do your plan for the next 5 months and I will do mine THEN we can compare notes." Well at mothers day the votes were in.. I had lost 25 or so lbs and he had lost 20 lbs 2 times and gained it 2 times. Then on Memorial day I was talking to someone else at a family gathering and they were asking what I have done to lose 50 lbs and I told them and he came up and started to give ME advice and I just did what I usually do.. smile and nod.. HE had an aha moment and just stopped himself and said.. "I dont need to tell you do I?" followed with "those that can, do. Those that can't, teach" It made me feel really good. But as far as bad moments about weight.. they have all been mother related she had stomach surgery done lost it got fat and now has issues from it.. and like 4.5 years ago told me I would be a good candidate for it as well. I was not happy that she said that so I just turned and looked at her 240 lb body and said.. "oh yeah and how did that work out for you?"

I LOVEEEEE this discussion! Because I have those moments DAILY. Usually its the glances and whispers from kids at my school and in my shop (I go to a technical high school and i'm in Diesel Tech where you work on like 18 wheelers and i'm with many guys) so I get A LOT of crap from the guys in there when I do more work then they do! So I know where your coming from. You should want to beat the crap out of them!

And K8yk I know EXACTLY where your coming from I mean like when I started my diet everyone sort of just gave me a blank stare because I've tried sooo many times they just expect me to fail they just sorta look at me and say,"Well thats nice." And go back to what they were doing moments before I told them.

I'm lucky though, I have my mom who just quit smoking (Woot Woot for her!!) An shes gained some weight because now she munches on EVERYTHING so she wants to cut back pounds too so were looking up stuff online and giving each other tips and stuff. But those "Who the hell do you think you are moments!!" Are funny cause they just keep me going!


Good luck to you sweetie!

Oh wow, sounds like my grandma (R.I.P) she called me a litle fatty through my whole childhood and if I was the only one who wanted another egg at breakfast she served it barely cooked and made me eat it because "I asked for it" the only time she ever liked me was when she got so senile I don't think she even knew who I was!! Kate, thats one that really gets me too...when I am eating fruit I always hear " you know that all that fruit is sugar and turns to fat" Or if I am eating a big salad, I hear "Cows get fat on grass ya know!" well ya know what, its way better than that greasy burger, fries and milkshake I could have had! UGH...people..... no matter how much weight I lose I will probably have somewhat low self esteem where my body is considered, but I am getting better!! (Oh, and by the way....when my Grandma called me a little fatty I wasn't even chubby!)