What is the deal with self image??

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MrsJayDubya

Joined: Jul 09
Posts: 27

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Posted: 03 Nov 2009, 08:41
I can't figure out if I'm delusional, blind, confident, or an idiot!! I have lost 20+ pounds since the beginning of August and I have 30 more before goal. I have been feeling generally great about my weight loss, knowing that if I applied a little more effort to exercise I would really be doing well. Anyway, point is I have FELT smaller and that is the best part. I am fitting into "pre-baby" clothes and people are starting to say "looking like you are losing some weight." So then WHY is it that this weekend when pictures were taken for Halloween and any time I caught a glimpse of my reflection, all I saw was HUGE. Like worse than when I was at my highest? I saw broad shoulders and face. What is the deal? How is it that our brains get it so twisted? and WHICH is it? Am I "looking good" or "still got a long way to go sister!"... SIGH....
~Sarah

Wifey to Joe and Mommy to Thomas!

"Obedience Brings Blessings"
weckwerthma

Joined: Oct 09
Posts: 1

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Posted: 03 Nov 2009, 09:04
I can't figure out if I'm delusional, blind, confident, or an idiot!!

What makes you think any of the above. Photos are notoriously inaccurate. I've never liked myself in a picture. I believe the only way you can use a picture for reference is if you repeatedly take the same picture with the same camera in the same place (both you and the camera) and compare pictures over time. Otherwise you have no frame of reference.

If you are working on weight you are overly conscious and you were looking for flaws. When you go looking you tend to find. I think they call it a self-fulfilling-prophecy.

Anyway that is my 2 cents. Another dollar and you can get a cup of coffee anywhere but starbucks. Smile
chryseius

Joined: Aug 07
Posts: 107

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Posted: 03 Nov 2009, 21:48
You may be both "looking good" (compared to before) and "have a long way to go sister" (until you get to your goal).

The same thing used to happen to me all the time, and still does sometimes. And pictures can be misleading.
MrsJayDubya

Joined: Jul 09
Posts: 27

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Posted: 04 Nov 2009, 08:50
Thanks, I think you both are right... its just funny how our minds work against us sometimes. I am taking the negative thoughts and turning them into motivation...
~Sarah

Wifey to Joe and Mommy to Thomas!

"Obedience Brings Blessings"
beets_yum

Joined: Apr 09
Posts: 440

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Posted: 04 Nov 2009, 09:06
I TOTALLY feel your pain. I have the same issues. I am feeling good and then my husband or someone else takes a pic of me and it's awful. My husband and I inevitably get into an argument because I'll be like, If I look "good" and that's what I look like, then clearly you are patronizing me because I look terrible. And then he thinks I'm being insane and it goes on from there.

So supposedly pictures add 10 lbs. (At least!) Have you ever seen an actress or model in real life? They are usually terrifyingly skinny. Skeletal. And obviously there's all the photoshopping.

But it's really hard. Seeing a pic of myself will totally deflate my self-confidence when I'm feeling good. I guess though that's it better to have a better self-image than to keep thinking we look bad! If we focus on the positives, on how far we HAVE come (so hard, I know) then it will be easier to keep going.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.
indiehjarta

Joined: Apr 09
Posts: 38

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Posted: 04 Nov 2009, 09:19
I remember thinking around 138-140 that I looked great in my mini dress. Now now that I am a extremely slender 119.. I see that it was NOT the case at all. To me all I see is a whale in those pictures with heavy legs. I was so humiliated that I even showed them to anyone. I have a very small frame and I am short, any extra weight shows on me.
250 pounds | Chest 47 | Waist 46 | Hips 56
119 pounds | Chest 35 | Waist 25 1/2 | Hips 35
xLyssx

Joined: Mar 09
Posts: 46

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Posted: 04 Nov 2009, 09:27
I applaud everyone here that speaks and has emotion in this subject. I think everyone no matter what their weight is has self image issues reguardless. Problem is fitting normal thoughts into an everyday life pattern and coping with them , when we are obviously unhealthy. I to try and use it as motivation. Something that even gets old. And i agree sometimes husbands or boyfriends telling us we look good when we just saw a damn picture that shows different can be frustrating. I try to keep in mind he is just trying to be nice or give a compliment and he must love me or he wouldnt be here with me. Ive been working my a$$ off trying to lose this weight since last March. 40 pounds later, im not celebrating , im only thinking of the 40 more i want to lose! We are hard on ourselves, but in a way we should be , someone has to hold us accountable. I saw a picture of myself taken the summer before last at the river when the in laws came up before my surgery. I looked horrible! She also posted it in her face book family album for the entire family to view (even ones that havent met me yet) Granted i had about 30 pounds of tumors in me at that time, So as well as being seriously unfit , I looked SICK. Sometimes I think people do indeed get pleasure out of others pain. As well as just having their heads up their own asses and not realizing how certain things may effect us. At any rate none of that matters, all that matters is the way we see ourselves and what we are willing to go through to fix it. Some days i feel low some days i feel on top of the world. Then i see that picture and BAM im back at bottom again. Sometimes i wonder if when i do lose the rest of my weight if i will still hate what i look at in a mirror or in a picture. The best thing i can say about this is, keep in mind that losing our weight is not only a "how we look" reason , but HOW HEALTHY we want to be for ourselves and our loved ones at home. That is more important than anything superficial anyhow.
beets_yum

Joined: Apr 09
Posts: 440

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Posted: 04 Nov 2009, 09:36
I guess it is good to face it. Because in my head I have thought I've looked good for the past five years or so. And I'm not very overweight, but when I see the pics I think, How can that be me? That's not what I look like!

I can't stand to look at most of my wedding pictures. And that makes me so so sad. Because I "tried" to lose the weight. But I know I didn't really give it a 100% effort. I always thought it was silly for women to lose a bunch of weight just for the wedding pics, but now I get it. They hang on your wall and they are supposed to be a happy memory--not a reminder of your personal failings.

The worst part is, even if I do lose this weight and I manage to keep it off--no, wait, I mean WHEN I lose this weight and keep it off--I will still have the pics from the last few years to remind me of my failures. I'm trying to forgive myself for that. I've been listening to a self-hypnosis mp3 and part of it is forgiving yourself for being overweight in the past. But--it's hard. No doubt.
Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.
xLyssx

Joined: Mar 09
Posts: 46

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Posted: 04 Nov 2009, 09:48
wow now there's a thought! Self forgiveness *sigh*, makes it hard when most of the people in your life only focus on sticking you constantly with a hot poker. I guess that is why its called SELF forgiveness because it should have absolutely nothing to do with anyone else only ourselves!
MrsJayDubya

Joined: Jul 09
Posts: 27

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Posted: 04 Nov 2009, 10:01
EXACTLY!!! Well stated ladies!
~Sarah

Wifey to Joe and Mommy to Thomas!

"Obedience Brings Blessings"



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