Stories of diet/food discoveries

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northernmusi...

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 266

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Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 12:24
I've always been the type to 'think outside of the box.' I hope you find this little piece amusing. I live in a very small community and specialty times are difficult to find. This is my story of finding a source of dextrose locally to support my weightlifting endeavours. Details have been changed in order to hide the blatant lies and artistic license necessary to maybe make you chuckle and keep you reading. By northernmusician.

While this is rather lengthy, I would be happy to hear of your food discoveries here that suprised you - positive or negative. Thanks. (It can be from your (diet) religion if you like. I'll try anything once. Maybe twice.)

***

Once there was a little boy who loved candy. Oh, he loved it so much. Almost any candy would do in a pinch, but there was one candy - one candy that stood head and shoulders above the others. One Candy to rule them all, in the store you'll find them, One Candy - bring them in and in the darkness grind them. Oh, yes. It was that kind of addiction and the little boy could never, ever turn it down. If he had enough money, he would buy it. If one store was out, he would pedal his (then) skinny little butt to the next store, then the next, and the next, until his treasure was found. Had this candy been mentioned in the Bible, he was sure it would have been called the candy of many colours.

The little boy lived in a desert in southern BC and in the winter he would walk everywhere and sometimes go to the pool, or later, to the poolhall. In spring and fall, his bicycle took him everywhere. I mean everywhere. In the summer he would go to the beach and swim half the day, and the other half of the day (since he'd discovered girls didn't in fact have cooties) he would get a lot of rotational neck exercise. But one day, the boy grew up. It sucked. Hanging at the beach was easier.

He got married to an amazing young woman and settled in to a very good life. He liked his kids most of the time and never felt threatened by them... though at times he wondered if he were being a little obtuse. But all during this time, he had one big, hidden secret. A secret that, had his friends known, they would have laughed at him about being childish. The secret was so dark and twisted that he would go to the store after his family had gone to sleep to meet and devour his first love... the candy of many colours.

Oooh, how he loved them. There were days when he would have 2 packs. Yes. A two packs a day man was he. There was a problem though. The candy of many colours ate him as much as he ate them. It was an addiction the same as any other. The candy of many colours was his addiction, and it owned him.

Sometimes he would buy the candy and break it into three section and hide them in separate pockets, occasionally prompting his wife to ask, "Are you happy to see me?" How embarrasing. (He was always happy to see her.)

There were times in his life when he lost weight, weight partly the result of the candy of many colours, but he never realized that losing the weight was no big deal. The man, and many of his friends, fought the demon fat, but each time it returned because he'd forgotten it wasn't about losing the fat - it was about losing the fat and keeping it off.

One day the man went to the doctor and the doctor said, "Bend over, take a deep, and..." No, wait. I'll skip that part. He said, "Your bad cholesterol is too high and you're borderline diabetic." The boy/man was shocked. It was like the day he realized he would not be part of a manned space flight to the moon. And it was like the day he realized the world did not understand him and would not allow him run it without its consent. (Still working on it though.) How could this happen to him?

Just because his mom and her whole family was diabetic didn't mean he would end up that way. Neither was it going to happen simply because he lived a sedentary lifestyle 48 weeks of the year. Nor was it because he ate too much, or that he ate the wrong things, and certainly the candy of many colours... something inside him died. It was time for the end of his love affair with the candy of many colours, and the beverage of choice (Coke), and the corn chips, and candy bars. It all had to go if he were to choose to be more like his dad's side of the family who never seemed to have any health issues. So he chose.

He worked hard. He dieted down. He began to exercise because it was good for him (yuck). He smiled when he saw the change begin in the mirror, but then he would frown because he wanted... the candy of many colours. Surely having just that one thing from time to time would be okay? But no. And he believed that one day, if he really just stuck to it and refused his first love, that one day the universe would reward him.

An odd thing happened to the man who had once been a boy. He had chosen weight lifting as his means of exercise to make himself unsedentary. (Yes it is a real word. I just made it up.) He found he loved it. He began to read, and study. He watched the people who held all knowledge and wisdom (you know... random youtube posters) and he discovered that indeed a mere mortal could weed out the truth from the myth, dogma, and religion that surrounds bodybuilding and diet.

He got down to where he wanted to be in weight and then... he needed to figure out a good way to bulk. Yes! He intended to gain weight in order to gain muscle. (It's the deal. No calorie deficits and muscle gain.) He began reading about how to trigger an insulin spike post-workout to get the muscles ready to really suck up the amino acids from his favourite protein shake (banana) and he read there was a magical substance called dextrose.

"Oh, baby! Gotta get me some!" he cried aloud. After a couple more weeks of study, (this is his way of 'rushing in'Wink he knew it was time, and he headed out the door on his quest.

He asked at the grocery store for dextrose and received an immediate "Huh?" in reply to his question. He went to the next store. Same thing. He searched and searched and finally went to the drug store, and there, perched on the shelf in the diabetic section, was dextrose for diabetics who had gone hypoglicemic. He smiled. "$2 for 40 grams? Are you kidding me?" He decided he would buy a tube and give it a try anyway.

The man/boy paid for the package and walked back to his vehicle, popped one of the dextrose tablets into his mouth and... the man/boy became a boy/man. Can't be! Could it be that the love of his life... the candy of many colours could become his slave and serve him instead of the other way 'round? No. Surely, it can't be the same thing.

Leaving the drugstore parking lot in a four wheeled drift, the boy/man weaved his way in and out of traffic toward the local 7/11 on a mission of discovery. He could feel his heart beating in his chest and was near tears as he pulled into the sev's parking lot, narrowly missing the police car on the way. The lights came on. He piled out of his truck and yelled at the cop, "S.......s may have dextrose in them."

The cop staggered with the shock of the idea and lean against the hood of his cruiser. (It's Canada, eh?) The cop pulled himself together, turned out his lights, and entered the store with the man/boy who was now the boy/man.

The boy/man and the cop stared in disbelief at the list of ingredients on the package. Dextrose! First ingredient! And judging by the numbers, in excess of 45 grams in a 51 gram package and it was half the price of the drug store variety. Everyone in the store turned to watch the cop and the boy/man hugging each other and squealing with glee. The boy/man felt like he had the day he realized he loved to sing, loved to play guitar, and when he decided girls didn't have cooties.

The cop pushed the boy/man, now clearly simply the boy, to arms length and said with tears in his eyes, "We have to tell the world."

They rushed out of the store and entered the cruiser. The cop drove down main street as the boy sat on the edge of the door window frame and yelled at the people...

Sweetarts are dextrose! Sweetarts are dextrose!

The (happy) ending.
***

Exercise isn't diet. Diet isn't exercise. Binging trumps exercise.
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 946

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Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 13:11
ROFLMAO... It was a Eureka Moment. Very cool.

***It just means being more independent and not allowing your happiness to be dependent on someone else's demanding and contentious attitudes and actions.***

Wisdom from a friend


May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
bigbassbrent

Joined: Oct 13
Posts: 116

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Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 13:19
That was a very entertaining read NM. Thank you.

I really enjoyed reading your personal story, which also turns out to be strikings similar to mine, well, minus the candy of many colors.

- I don't diet. I eat to achieve my goals.
chadlius88

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 157

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Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 13:33
Didnt know that. What else is in them though? Razz

I use Now Foods 100% pure dextrose powder. $18 for 10 lbs. and it lasts forever. (not literally)
joyluck1966

Joined: Feb 14
Posts: 2

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Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 13:46
Wait a minute, am I hearing this right?? Sweetarts (my most favorite candy in the world that I haven't been able to enjoy for SO long) is the good sugar that I can have everyday????? Please tell me this is true; I've got my shoes on and keys in hand if so!
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 946

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Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 14:36
Actually kind of disappointed you were talking about Sweetarts. I was hoping it was Smarties. The one candy I always removed from kiddo's trick or treat bag because "they're no good for you".

***It just means being more independent and not allowing your happiness to be dependent on someone else's demanding and contentious attitudes and actions.***

Wisdom from a friend


May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
northernmusi...

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 266

      quote  
Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 14:41
Joy! *Smacks your hand.* Don't go to the store, lol. Once you're down to your goal weight, and you're working out, then and only then would I recommend or even suggest it. It's a huge insulin spike that can be USED to gain muscle. I'm with you. Maybe I've just added impetus to your determination. The candy of many colours awaits the end of your journey AND your determination in your maintenance diet. You'll see sweetarts in my food journal as dextrose. It's only part of the post workout and it is measured. (Still have to be anal about it.) Very Happy Hoping draglist sees this post.

Chad. What else is in them? Who cares, lol. I'm rationalizing it under IIFYM.

CR: I'm sure you can find a dietary benefit to bees wax and carnauba wax. That's what they use on smarties to get the gloss. Get on it. Get back to me. Wink
***

Exercise isn't diet. Diet isn't exercise. Binging trumps exercise.
joyluck1966

Joined: Feb 14
Posts: 2

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Posted: 14 Mar 2014, 15:00
Ok, I can wait it out. Knowing there's a pot of gold at the end of my rainbow is just another incentive to get there!
ChicaLean

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 37

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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 02:45
What a fun read. I got a little excited about the candy eating as well. Please write a story about the benefits of snicker bars. No, really! Well I am trying a new (to me) tea called Red Rooibos. Of course it’s suppose to have all these great benefits but right now I am just looking for something to temporarily replace my green tea. Excerpt from some website (The listed health benefits of red rooibos tea include its use as a cure for nagging headaches, insomnia, asthma, eczema, bone weakness, hypertension, allergies, and premature aging. The tea is absolutely free from caffeine content and is also low in tannins. You can enjoy the refreshing beverage all day long with no possible side effects. Drinking rooibos tea can further ease severe stomach cramps, as well as bring relief to asthma and other related conditions. It also boosts the immune system of the human body.) I laugh at the listing of insomnia as I am wide awake 3:45am. Maybe I should try a cup.



"Focus Danielson!" ― Mr. Keysuke Miyagi
northernmusi...

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 266

      quote  
Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 11:04
Insomnia is one of my pets too. Hate it. Rarely get anything done. I'll have to try that tea. It sounds interesting. Green tea... I'd rather mow the lawn and use some of that, and lawn weather is still at least a month and a half away. Augh! I'll see what I can do about the snickers bars.

By the way. Did you know one of the health risks of weight loss is hypothermia? I laughed so hard when I saw that listed.
***

Exercise isn't diet. Diet isn't exercise. Binging trumps exercise.
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 946

      quote  
Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 11:16
A benefit to hypothermia. Shivering. Another form of exercise.

***It just means being more independent and not allowing your happiness to be dependent on someone else's demanding and contentious attitudes and actions.***

Wisdom from a friend


May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
northernmusi...

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 266

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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 13:12
This is true... Janice today?
***

Exercise isn't diet. Diet isn't exercise. Binging trumps exercise.
ClassicRocke...

Joined: Jan 13
Posts: 946

      quote  
Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 15:31
Yep.

Mark Farner of Grand Funk now.

***It just means being more independent and not allowing your happiness to be dependent on someone else's demanding and contentious attitudes and actions.***

Wisdom from a friend


May I be free to be the me that I came into this world to be.
northernmusi...

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 266

      quote  
Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 18:42
I thought this was interesting. Carbohydrate in alcoholic beverages is virtually non-existent. Very low carbohydrate, though the calorie count is high. Alcohol is counted at 7 calories per gram rather than 4 calories per gram as carbohydrate. It is processed before carbohydrates and fats, which means fat in the bloodstream and fat in adipose tissue is locked away from use, which means fat will not be burned while alcohol is in your system. It would appear that alcohol must be metabolized by the liver (essentially a detoxification) before fats and proteins can come back into use. I thought this short article was interesting. Alcohol and Carbohydrates
***

Exercise isn't diet. Diet isn't exercise. Binging trumps exercise.
chadlius88

Joined: Jul 13
Posts: 157

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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 19:39
Alcohol itself has no carbs but it is usually paired with them in drinks. Interesting about it being processed first and blocking other nutrients from being absorbed.
Draglist

Joined: Jun 12
Posts: 740

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Posted: 15 Mar 2014, 19:48
Interesting. I often experience a whoosh effect after having a few. I attributed it to the diuretic effect.
mrsmole

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 17

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Posted: 16 Mar 2014, 10:43
Excellent story. To Classic Rocker's point, have you looked up Smartees? Here are the ingredients: Ingredients: Dextrose, Citric Acid, Calcium Stearate, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Colors (Red 40 Lake, Yellow 5 Lake, Yellow 6 Lake, Blue 2 Lake). Classic, you're good to go!
A whole pound of sliced watermelon has only 144 calories. Go eat a watermelon when you're hungry!
northernmusi...

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 266

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Posted: 16 Mar 2014, 11:38
That's one of the myths Chad. Alcohol actually does have carbs though they are relatively few and residual from the fermentation process. Alcohol itself does not, and some alcohols do assimilate all the carbs, but many beverages do have carbs. Oddly, the 'light' alcoholic drinks are the one that often have the carbs. Unfortunately, it ain't a perfect world. If anyone should know...
***

Exercise isn't diet. Diet isn't exercise. Binging trumps exercise.
Draglist

Joined: Jun 12
Posts: 740

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Posted: 02 Apr 2014, 19:36
Quote:
You'll see sweet arts in my food journal as dextrose. It's only part of the post workout and it is measured. (Still have to be anal about it.) Very Happy Hoping draglist sees this post.



Didn't see it until today... I searched for Draglist in the forums to ensure I did not miss answering anyone and of course, I did! Can't wait to take advantage of my Smartie and Sweetart addictions when I get to maintenance! LOL.
northernmusi...

Joined: Dec 13
Posts: 266

      quote  
Posted: 03 Apr 2014, 09:25
Draglist wrote:
Quote:
You'll see sweet arts in my food journal as dextrose. It's only part of the post workout and it is measured. (Still have to be anal about it.) Very Happy Hoping draglist sees this post.



Didn't see it until today... I searched for Draglist in the forums to ensure I did not miss answering anyone and of course, I did! Can't wait to take advantage of my Smartie and Sweetart addictions when I get to maintenance! LOL.


Now wait just a minute! Smarties have not been substantiated. Smile That was CR and MM who brought them up. Smile I'll see if I can get a response from the manufacturer about 'purity'. lol Sweetarts are 95% pure.
***

Exercise isn't diet. Diet isn't exercise. Binging trumps exercise.



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