reactions to weightloss

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Gillyana

Joined: Sep 13
Posts: 6

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 02:47
Hello, I am new to Fs ive been using the app for a month now And D started seeing some.progress.i had lost weight before, gained about half of it back, and was creeping to the 200 lb mark and knew I needed to get back on track. This site & tihis.forum has been extremely helpful and inspiring, so first I would like to thank everyone who has posted and continues to post. So I've started wonder, and if this is already a thread please point me in the right direction Smile I was wondering for anyone, if you've reached your goal or are just on the journey, what has been the reaction from your spouses, partners, family and people.in your life. What are the major changes that you have noticed in people's behaviors. When did people start noticing your weightloss; were you excited? Nervous?

I apologize for the typos,my phone is being a little glitchy and is having trouble fixing my mistakes Sad sadly is making them much worse while its at it.

Thank you
Gillyana
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 03:12
That's a great question! I'll be happy to tell. I have seen several things:

1. People actually take me a LOT more serious when I state my opinions.
2. People have stopped talking down to me. Hello, I was fat, not dumb.
3. People are simply amazed, and don't believe that it is actually me who is in my before-pictures.
4. It actually took Wife a while to get used to the new me. She fell in love with a big, chubby guy, who spent a lot of time at home, doing nothing. Now she is married to a much more active, slim, strong, confident man who sets very different goals. This man loves he no less though, and she loves me no less either.
5. Contacts and friends of my Wife who has only met me a couple of times in the past actually think that she has a new husband now! Very Happy

I have always enjoyed the compliments, but as arrogang and shallow as it sounds, one gets used to them. I always make a point to say thank you and appreciate the compliments, though. It's not like people applaud me to harm me, right? If they feel that I deserve the compliment, then I better be proud and accept it.

The REALLY cool thing is that I inspire. I inspire people that I am in contact with to both lose weight and to start working out. I have been able to open a small business teaching weight loss, and I now work at the local gym.

I love that I get to be one of the "Wise Elders" here on Fatsecret. I used the "Wise Elders" of the past to get a grip on the whole weight loss thing, and I love being able to pay it forward.

I hope this answers your questions. Smile

Keld.

Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
Sk1nnyfuture

Joined: Feb 11
Posts: 530

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 04:15
When I look back at old photos, I can't believe I looked like that - and funny enough my DH and family, don't either. I guess what happened is, the weight came on slowly and I and my family didn't notice. It's not until I and they, see old pics that they say "OMG, I can't believe you were that big".
Re other people, some didn't say anything, until they realised it was a weight loss journey I was on, for fear I may be ill and that's why I was loosing weight. The biggest thrill for me was, shopping ... Being able to go in a clothes shop and buy stuff that was fashionable and pretty.
I think the 'do people take you more seriously' probably yes, but I also think, it is more about how we feel about ourselves. Your self confidence grows and you are therefore 'perceived' as having something useful to contribute. You don't need to worry about breaking a chair when you sit in it, or worry about fitting in a plane seat.
It really impacted on me, the first time I went on a plane, and had loads of room to 'buckle up', such a joy. A very large lady came and sat In the seat next to me, I saw the panic on her face as she tried to get the safety belt around her - such a struggle and she was noticeably embarrassed - I really felt for her and realised, that the year before, I felt like that.

" Success is what you make it, there's no better time to make a change than the present."

"Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. "
kingkeld

Joined: Sep 09
Posts: 1,995

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 06:57
Reading stories like Sk1nny's airplane story makes me ponder. When I find myself in situations where "new me" sees someone struggling like "old me" used to struggle, I REALLY want to tell them that they "can be fixed". I really want to tell them that they do NOT have to be overweight, and that I used to be in that very same spot.

The trouble is, they don't know me. I know that when I was 155 kilos, I wouldn't have cared to take any - ANY - advice from a skinny stranger, no matter what story he'd be "selling" me.

It's sad. I'm all for helping, but I know that so many people just aren't ready to hear what I'm saying. I don't want to initiate "the talk" most of the times, because I can tell that they aren't ready to hear it, and I would just come off as being arrogang and offensive.

I'm just thankful for the few that actually comes up to me and asks.


Visit my website: www.tabdig.info

"Losing weight is never about eating as little as possible"
- Kingkeld.
"You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.
― Eleanor Roosevelt
"Do. Or do not. There is no trying."
- Master Yoda.

I went from morbidly obese to being the owner of TABDIG - a weight loss coaching service that helps people worldwide losing weight. It's been an amazing journey. From October 4th 2010 to April 3rd 2012 I lost half my body weight - 80 kilos/170 lbs. Since then, I have had two cosmetic surgeries to remove excess skin. I have now quadrupled my strength, gained several kilos in muscle mass, and today I focus on building muscle, optimizing my diet, living healthy and helping people to reach the very same goals. I am stronger, healthier, thinner, happier! If you feel that you need help losing weight, don't hesitate to send me an inbox message.
shmiller

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 504

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 08:56
I agree with you, Kingkeld. I'm also a former smoker and have the same feelings about people who still smoke. I want to yell out! I want to inspire! I want to say, "I couldn't do it either but I did and so can you!"

But what I know most, even from myself with both smoking and being overweight, is that all the inspirational stories in the world won't do it for you long-term. You have to want it inside yourself so badly that you feel like you will perish without accomplishing it. Lest you do great for a while, find out it's hard, and then go back to the old you. Once I felt that do-it-or-die inspiration in my own belly, no one and nothing could stop me. Now, I'm a thin non-smoker.

In regard to your first question, though, Gillyanna, I found that people noticed the changes in me pretty quickly. Not only because my body was different (and by the end SOOOO different {I went from a size 24 to a 4}), but because my attitude was different. I felt better about everything about me and about the world I lived in. Nothing else had changed, only I had changed, but the world looked different from hopeful eyes, and so I saw it that way and talked about it that way.

Hang in there. Sometimes the words from others are encouraging, sometimes they're hurtful, and sometimes they mean to be encouraging and are hurtful, but the bottom line is that you're doing this for yourself, not so anyone else notices. Though it's pretty cool when they do!
"The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter, either side of the hill" The Grateful Dead
Pasha111

Joined: Oct 13
Posts: 19

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 10:34
Hi I'm quite new to the site too - well a week and a half in and starting my long journey again. About 15 years ago I lost a lot of weight (5 stones) and have managed to put it all back on. Not straight away, but over time.
When I lost it before I was surprised and quite sad that people did take me more seriously - as kingkeld said I was fat not dumb. So here I am doing it all again and determined that this time when I lose it, I won't put it back on!
Ticker is stuck, but I'm not - down to 155, 15 to go
kkd1125

Joined: Apr 10
Posts: 336

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 12:51
shmiller wrote:
...But what I know most, even from myself with both smoking and being overweight, is that all the inspirational stories in the world won't do it for you long-term. You have to want it inside yourself so badly that you feel like you will perish without accomplishing it. Lest you do great for a while, find out it's hard, and then go back to the old you. Once I felt that do-it-or-die inspiration in my own belly, no one and nothing could stop me.


Shmiller, I'm copying and pasting your paragraph above to an inspiration journal I'm creating for myself. I wholeheartedly agree with you on this. Thanks for sharing with all of us. Smile
startrekker

Joined: May 13
Posts: 85

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 16:31
An "inspiration journal" is a great idea, kkd125! I think I must start one of those.

About people's reactions, Gillyana, I'd agree with what shmiller said: other people change towards you when you lose weight partly because your own attitude changes. Although I thought I felt pretty confident even when I was bigger, actually I think now that I probably had a bit of a defensive streak. It was a sort of permanent guilt, sadness, bitterness, based on knowing that I wasn't happy with my body, how it looked or felt, and that I wasn't getting my s***t together to sort it out! (I wasn't, rather than I couldn't, because I could have; but, for a variety of reasons, I was in denial and procrastinating.)

I reckon too that people can tell, subconsciously, if someone has a weak point, a bit like dogs can smell fear or a hunter can spot the prey with even the tiniest limp. And of course when you have a tight little ball of self-hate, you always know it's there. That's what changing for me and, also, what's actually changing me.
"There's no secret. You train a lot and eat right" (Mo Farah, British Olympic marathon runner).
Gillyana

Joined: Sep 13
Posts: 6

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Posted: 30 Oct 2013, 22:37
Thank you everyone who responded to my posts Smile I think its sad how different people treat you, like kingkeld said people take you more serious. I just wonder why? Having lost weight before, then when I gained some back, people began treating me similar to how it was before. I was just wondering if others had the same experiences or reactions, and many of you have. Now that I'm on this journey for another go around. Thank you again for sharing your experiences with me Smile

Shopping for new clothes is something I'm looking forward too Smile
shmiller

Joined: Mar 10
Posts: 504

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Posted: 01 Nov 2013, 07:27
@kkd1125 Very Happy
"The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter, either side of the hill" The Grateful Dead



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